cc64

Not new to recovery. Just had an episode of binge drinking and all I remember is waking up in a motel room with an empty bottle of sleeping pills in my hand. Puke everywhere, and all I know is what people have told me. My husband and my best friend are very disappointed and do not trust me anymore. I've been through this before but can't seem to get a grip on it

KateL

Well, you've come here so that proves you want to do something. Keep reading and hopefully you will find some answers xxx

least

You've come to a great place for support in quitting drinking. We understand what you're going thru and want to help.

cc64

I have a dual diagnosis....Substance abuse and bi-polar disorder. I know better than to drink. I can go a while without drinking but then all of a sudden, I "snap" and cause A LOT of trouble. I don't want to go to another treatment center as I have exhausted all the programs in my area. My husband and I are getting ready for the biggest move of our life, and I am looking forward to it. I just don't want to drag this crap with us and have it start all over again

Ghostlight1

Hello, and welcome. You've found a great place for support.

I've come out of blackouts in some pretty strange places. It was a sign to me that my drinking had gotten out of hand. Blackouts are usualy a sign of a problem drinker. Yet I continued to drink. I couldn't get a grip on it either. I drank that way for many years.

Save yourself the misery I went through whether it be a talk with your doctor or finding a support group. AA works for many.
Take my word for it it can get worse. And with me it did until I was drinking every day. Oh, and I'm bipolar also. So I understand where you're coming from. I was drinking to self medicate. I finaly got help, and slowly, baby steps, found recovery.

Best to you and I hope you keep posting here.

cc64

I battled heroin and have never once wanted to use it again. How can I say "no" to one, and "hey, come in and ruin my life" to another? I still don't get that.

Dee74

Welcome

That must have been scary for everyone concerned cc64.
Whats your plan to stay sober?

D

Ghostlight1

Could be the bipolar. Are you seeing a psychiatrist or other health professional?
I had to get my mental illness straightened out before I could even dream of recovery.

cc64

honestly, I don't know what my plan is. I am still in the middle of the aftermath of this last episode. I usually end up in a hospital of some sort after these binges, but not this time. I am at home, with my husband, trying to figure out how I got this bad in the first place. My husband doesn't know what to do except explain to me how my drinking is affecting him. The thing is, I know what my drinking does to people, but I can't seem to head off the trigger that sends me plunging in to binge drinking.

soberhawk

Welcome to SR cc64.

I decided some months ago just to stop drinking all together, never touch that stuff again.

The cost was just larger than the pleasures.

Is it your drinking that gets out of hand and ends in black outs, or can you not remember how you started the binge in the first place?

cc64

I would have to say it's both. I never intend to get to the point of blacking out, but I always manage to. For the most part, I can drink, go home, and wake up just fine. The only way I can describe it is that I snap, and start binge drinking. I couldn't tell you what triggers it, only that when it starts, I can't stop until I have left a path of destruction. This last episode really affected some personal relationships and it is tearing me apart. I don't even want to leave my house or talk to anyone that was there when it all went down. I need to apologize but am too ashamed to even show my face to these people.

soberhawk

I think drinking can get out of control for some “brains” so to speak. You are not showing your true self when you get out of control, maybe you need to accept that you risk it gets out of control if you drink.

Such things are hard cc, I hope you will find the strength to get through this.

Please take care of yourself.