BalinChane

Like a fool I had to learn on my own that if you quit, relapse, quit, relapse, etc the withdrawals can get worse each time you quit. Day 2 and I'm getting waves of nausea and feel lightheaded at random times.

I made the mistake a few weeks ago of thinking, hey I feel okay, been sober for a few months, maybe I can have a glass of wine, I deserve it. Now I get to go thru withdrawal again. Stupid mistake.

KateL

Never mind, you have learned something from it. I have done that. xxx

Skye2

Hey, it's nothing we haven't all done, or at least a lot of us and certainly me As you'll know, the first 5 days are the worst and you're nearly through the second - hang in there

magusadam

We all been there and we learn and pick up and start over. Hope you stay on the sober path. It can be hard at first but it is possible. My sober date is 12/22/11

ClearMind

Don't be so hard on yourself, it happens. We're human, we make mistakes, as long as we keep trying then it's not a failure. When you were a kid just learning how to walk, you didn't quit after the first few times you tried and failed, did you?

Stay focused, give it another try, and it will work out.

Good luck.

Thepatman

Yep we almost all done the same. At least you are back on track!

Alchoolics are hard headed, and that's a fact!

hayley86

It's good that you are here and trying again. This can be the last time you have to go through this. Best wishes.

dwtbd

Sorry to hear you are paying the price for a stupid mistake. Chalk it up to lesson learned?
But if you get it now, maybe try not to make bad decisions about alcohol use going forward. It helped me to distinguish between mistakes(honest error usually due to lack of information) and decisions(choices made within a full context of knowledge).
wish you well

doggonecarl

As an alcoholic I never learned from my mistakes. I was bound to repeat them, no matter how horrific the lesson. So I had to quit depending on the memory of my last relapse to keep me sober. Never worked.

I had to learn to deal with sobriety, accept I couldn't drink, and apply the recovery tools I gathered to ensure I didn't relapse. Failing to do the work of recovery was my mistake, more so than the relapse.

BalinChane

Thanks guys, I appreciate the support. But you're right, this was not a stupid mistake, it was a stupid decision that I made.

dwtbd

I think I suffer from keyboard in mouth disease sometimes. I did not mean to come across as a preachy passive agressive arse, but I think I did. Maybe more in a 'tough love' kinda way. Sincerely wish you well , I just saw the AV playing with your words, I was swatting at him(her?)

BalinChane

Not at all, I didn't take it the wrong way, you nailed the truth on the head. A mistake would be if I tripped in the kitchen and accidentally drank a mouthful of booze; I made a bad decision when I opened that first bottle of wine a few weeks ago. We have to take responsibility for our actions and hopefully learn something while we're at it.

Toffee1

You say you had some wine because you felt you deserved it. I think if you continue to view alcohol in that way , ie as something of a reward, then you will continue to struggle. Alcohol is NOT a reward. It is a poison that will only do you harm. Try and change the way you view both alcohol and sobriety. As my signature says I too have fallen over that particular cliff !! Best of luck

alphaomega

That darn "Kindling" syndrome is sometimes the only thing that stops me from drinking.

My last binge consisted of 1.5 bottles of chardonnay , on a full stomach, over about 5-6 hours.

I paid dearly for 6 days thereafter. SIX DAYS, for a few hours of a mildly euphoric buzz, that lasted maybe an hour that I proceeded to chase for the next five until I passed out.

And I hadn't drank for 2 months prior to that episode.

Inexplicable depression, anxiety, doom, gloom, fear, loathing.

Good news is that you never ever ever have to feel this way again.

Be Well dear one.

BalinChane

Yep, I went into sobriety with the little voice in my head that said I could drink again someday if "this happened" or "that happened" or "some goal was reached", that idea has to go.

BalinChane

Hmm, kindling doesn't sound very good, sounds pretty bad actually. Thanks for the heads-up AlphaOmega, I'm going to check it out and hopefully start learning about what we're dealing with here.