Weasel1966

It's been nearly 365 days since my lowest of lows.
The day my heart broke.
The day my future became less clear than it had the day before.
The day my value system changed.

Domestic violence.

An all encompassing word for pain and hurt at the deepest human levels.

A betrayal of the expectations of love.

I cannot say I have come close, over the last year, to gain a stable sobriety but I have attained sobriety. Learning to live a sober life is different than the life I was living and so there is a lot to relearn. One day at a time. One event at a time.

The mourning period for my past debt to addiction seems to be up. I can let go of the pain as this milestone passes.

Forgive myself and let it go. Time to look in new directions. Time to look past the sadness in my heart. Just time. Ya know?

What's next? I have a new job in a new apartment in a new city. I want to make new friends. I will be selective about who enters my home.

As for intimacy...well I have not had that for over this last year. So I don't keep it high on the list since I have some bigger fish to fry.

The numbness is melting a bit. The shutdown I experienced is starting again. I don't ask a lot of myself emotionally these days. Just that I try everyday to see myself through a forgiving eye of love.

Everything else will simply be what ever it shall.

Thanks for this last year of support to my SR family.

I continue to heal.

Nonsensical

Thank you, Sir, for yours!

Jeni26

Thank you for sharing your journey with us Ken. You have helped me and many others following that same path to an addiction free life.

Love your posts xxx

Huglets

Ken, you are an absolute inspiration. You have a way of expressing yourself that is real, raw and healing.

Thank you for being here and sharing your journey with us.

mecanix

It's great to have you On the journey my friend ,

Thank you for being a good friend , thanks for every sober day you fought and won , m

instant

Well done Weasel. It's great to have a more solid footing, and a great milestone to achieve

dwtbd

heartfelt and inspirational, great post as always thx

gotta do sumptin about that nomiker tho, at least add "Mr"

Fandy

Dearest Weasey....

those rain clouds need to break up and let you be happy.

your year has been very hard, you made some big decisions, but I think you did it carefully and wisely.

ImperfectlyMe

Congrats weasel thank you for all you do here!!!!!
Keep smiling eventually your brain will catch up to your face

MIRecovery

I think my favorite thing about being in the recovery community is experiencing the growth of anothers. To witness a persons growth from the pits of hell to someone who is leading a pretty good life without drugs and alcohol is something beyond compare.

You are one of the winners. Your journey has helped me and many others stay sober

soberclover

Great reminder that recovery is so much more than just not picking up the drink or the drug; you are living recovery

Dee74

best wishes for the next year Weasel - hope it's everything you hope it is and more

D

Like2Hike

Well done, sir! You've helped many others, including myself, with your posts here on SR. Thank you.

Pondlady

Wishes for happiness in your new year!

scintillady

I, too, have just moved to Portland to a new apartment, same job, though. It's a great city, although with an inordinately high number of bars. My problem was never going out to drink, though. Too expensive. I tend to drink at home to unwind at night with a cheap bottle of wine. Congrats on a year! I had 6 weeks of sobriety back in May, then let things overwhelm me again. Trying again and having luck a week or so at a time, then I get to a spot where I drink a couple of glasses of wine and start over again. I'm no longer living with my roommate/best friend, who drinks and enabled me. I'll miss him, probably see him off and on, but not living with him is probably for the best. Lonely, though.

LindaLou

I wish you the best of luck for the upcoming year! I love reading your posts, and you have been a huge inspiration for me. You have, no doubt, helped many more people than you realize!

bigsombrero

Great post Ken,

You have made huge strides with your move, and getting away from that relationship. Those might not seem like amazing things right now as you ponder your life, but when you look back one day you'll be so proud of what you accomplished this year. You have truly started over again - something many of us wish we could do, but in the end we don't have the guts/luck/stones to do it. You've given me a lot of hope, and I know that goes tenfold for the rest of the gang.

Maybe today is not the time to get high off the amazing progress you've made. Perhaps it's better to take some somber, reflective comfort in enjoying the view from what is clearly a gradual uphill incline. You've done this all yourself, buddy. Thanks for letting so many of us join you on this often positive and very real journey.

kadidee

Thanks for sharing, Weasel! You inspire others through your journey.

ZeldaFan

Wonderfully expressed. You have been there for me over the past three month and, for that, I am forever thankful. Congratulations on all you have achieved and for your inspiration to us all!

Olive1

Good for you Weasel!
The first year is all kinds of up and down and sideways. Lots to learn, lots to unlearn.
I think you are doing fine and it really does get better and better, even if only by the littlest, smallest, most miniscule of imperceptible events.

And because I go to Winnie the Pooh for all my important quotes, I give you:


“You are braver than you believe,
Stronger than you seem,
And smarter than you think."
AAMilne