First Thanksgiving with NC...hard but better
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Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
Posts: 171
First Thanksgiving with NC...hard but better
This was our first Thanksgiving sense our big move out of state. My 2 older sons came to visit, well oldest is staying and checking out jobs to see if he can stay here....middle son came for 3 weeks and returned a few days ago. It was the first time ive had all of my sons together in the same house in probably 10 years. It was so fun, we laughed a lot and had a great time. I love seeing my boys interact now that they are growing up. 
I think I mentioned earlier in a post about a month ago I sent RXAH an email telling him I wish that we could find a way to be friends, after 20 years we should be able to do that blah blah blah....he never responded. Mind you this is probably the 3rd time in the last 2 years that I have tried extending the olive branch. Even though he cheated and left us for someone else, has cut my 2 older boys out of his life and has minimal involvement (at best) with our son. with his nonresponse I took that as no thank you...and that was my last attempt. I want to work on excepting that he will no longer be in my life in any fashion what so ever...
But then comes the obligatory text on Thanksiving morning.."Happy Thanksgiving hope all is good"...to me, not my sons phone, mine. He did not text our son or call him or attempt to contact him in anyway for Thanksgiving. I spent the good part of the morning obsessing on if I should respond..I did not. I don't understand, he doesn't want any relationship even as far as coparents but apparently he feels obligated to contact me on holidays and bdays.
The next day he called ours sons phone, which at the moment he does not have possession of due to grades, and left a voice mail. I told my son his dad had called his phone and he could use the land line to call him back. He chose not to. He was upset that he hadn't called him on thankgiving, I reminded him he had sent the happy thanksgiving text and he looked at me like "really mom?"
I hate all this co dependent guilt I feel now...I didn't respond, he didn't talk to his son on the holiday...why do I feel so bad about it when he obviously doesn't...WHY WONT HE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? if he doesn't want a relationship why the unnecessary contact with me..why not just contact our son and leave me out of it? and not xmas and my 50th is coming up in weeks and I know he will do the same thing. I have told him multiple times to contact our son directly..he says 'well he never answers me" but that doesn't explain why he will text me????
Alcoholics are soul sucking mind draining people........Im so tired.
On the up side we spent the holiday with family for the first time in years...my mom,sister, uncle and aunt, all 3 of my boys had a great dinner and everyone made desserts that were awesome and then me and the boys went home and watched movies. I am Thankful my HP gave me that with my boys...I needed it.
I think I mentioned earlier in a post about a month ago I sent RXAH an email telling him I wish that we could find a way to be friends, after 20 years we should be able to do that blah blah blah....he never responded. Mind you this is probably the 3rd time in the last 2 years that I have tried extending the olive branch. Even though he cheated and left us for someone else, has cut my 2 older boys out of his life and has minimal involvement (at best) with our son. with his nonresponse I took that as no thank you...and that was my last attempt. I want to work on excepting that he will no longer be in my life in any fashion what so ever...
But then comes the obligatory text on Thanksiving morning.."Happy Thanksgiving hope all is good"...to me, not my sons phone, mine. He did not text our son or call him or attempt to contact him in anyway for Thanksgiving. I spent the good part of the morning obsessing on if I should respond..I did not. I don't understand, he doesn't want any relationship even as far as coparents but apparently he feels obligated to contact me on holidays and bdays.
The next day he called ours sons phone, which at the moment he does not have possession of due to grades, and left a voice mail. I told my son his dad had called his phone and he could use the land line to call him back. He chose not to. He was upset that he hadn't called him on thankgiving, I reminded him he had sent the happy thanksgiving text and he looked at me like "really mom?"
I hate all this co dependent guilt I feel now...I didn't respond, he didn't talk to his son on the holiday...why do I feel so bad about it when he obviously doesn't...WHY WONT HE JUST LEAVE ME ALONE? if he doesn't want a relationship why the unnecessary contact with me..why not just contact our son and leave me out of it? and not xmas and my 50th is coming up in weeks and I know he will do the same thing. I have told him multiple times to contact our son directly..he says 'well he never answers me" but that doesn't explain why he will text me????
Alcoholics are soul sucking mind draining people........Im so tired.
On the up side we spent the holiday with family for the first time in years...my mom,sister, uncle and aunt, all 3 of my boys had a great dinner and everyone made desserts that were awesome and then me and the boys went home and watched movies. I am Thankful my HP gave me that with my boys...I needed it.
Engineer Things; LOVE People
Join Date: Sep 2009
Posts: 3,707
I would just take as a "Holiday Greetings" card from the Auto Dealership you bought a car from some years ago.
Or maybe sort of like getting an auto respond email from an address "[email protected]
Maybe just say -- Oh that's nice and move on.
Or maybe sort of like getting an auto respond email from an address "[email protected]
Maybe just say -- Oh that's nice and move on.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: back woods USA
Posts: 171
oh, the [email protected] was pretty funny to..
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