Feeling hopeless
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 249
Feeling hopeless
What do u do when a slip turns into a relapse? When u stumble, and stumble again and then u collapse? When u start to not care, when the world turns unfair and that old familiar light starts to glare?
When what u used to do, and it felt so wrong Feels ok again, like a familiar song
And it hurts and it destroys, but it's safe and it's sound
but Im faded and hate it
and the old me I found
And then once again I'm sedated When the bubble of Hope is faded
And that pink cloud you floated on has turned a bit jaded
And the real world hits you every day and it won't stop,
becomes relentless
my walls collapse and I feel defenceless
because it's time to get real, and every emotion I feel
And no matter how much I learn It starts to burn, crazy energy starts to build, starts in my mind Goes to my stomach, it churns
Flows thru my being, from my head to my toes the bad takes over It's always been here and it flows
Makes my life crazy Days and nights turn hazy
I become lazy, I'm weak and upset
I don't care, yet I do care
And feel familiar regret
This addiction won't quit after all these many years Won't dissipate my fears,
And all the tools you learned Become useless When that part of your being hurts you And turn ruthless
And the quotes that you've read To give you hope Turn to empty syllables, Sounds dead
And the words that you wrote To help you when your weak They don't matter at moments like these They don't even speak
And you've lost faith in your hope And the everyday makes it a hard to cope And you know you should have reached for that rope But it's getting harder to reach And the sober life is easier to preach then it is to live.
When what u used to do, and it felt so wrong Feels ok again, like a familiar song
And it hurts and it destroys, but it's safe and it's sound
but Im faded and hate it
and the old me I found
And then once again I'm sedated When the bubble of Hope is faded
And that pink cloud you floated on has turned a bit jaded
And the real world hits you every day and it won't stop,
becomes relentless
my walls collapse and I feel defenceless
because it's time to get real, and every emotion I feel
And no matter how much I learn It starts to burn, crazy energy starts to build, starts in my mind Goes to my stomach, it churns
Flows thru my being, from my head to my toes the bad takes over It's always been here and it flows
Makes my life crazy Days and nights turn hazy
I become lazy, I'm weak and upset
I don't care, yet I do care
And feel familiar regret
This addiction won't quit after all these many years Won't dissipate my fears,
And all the tools you learned Become useless When that part of your being hurts you And turn ruthless
And the quotes that you've read To give you hope Turn to empty syllables, Sounds dead
And the words that you wrote To help you when your weak They don't matter at moments like these They don't even speak
And you've lost faith in your hope And the everyday makes it a hard to cope And you know you should have reached for that rope But it's getting harder to reach And the sober life is easier to preach then it is to live.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
Zoey, while I do not have the experience or expertise to respond to a post of this fashion, all I can say is that even though I am a stranger on the internet, I feel for you and want you to be okay. I really do. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 249
And thanks Dee. Maybe a little of both? Since my first "screw up" I used and drank 2 more times. I knew it would hurt after having a good stretch of sober time, but it really really hurts. And it was my choices that got me here.
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