Jend719

((SIGH)) how much can one family take? Yesterday I drug tested my son. Positive for opiates, pot, benzodiazepine, and oxy. He's been denying and denying anything other than pot. I had bought a test and my husband didn't feel it was right to give it to him and accuse him without proof. So many things have gone on with him that are suspicious. Well yesterday morning his friend comes banging on the front door. I wake up my son n tell him his friend is here. He goes out on the porch and I hear them arguing. When I went out to see what was going on the friend was walking back to the car and his father was also in my driveway yelling something at my son before he got in the car and drove off. My son gave me some confusing story about how they were drinking and the friend was too drunk to drive so my son drove and left the kid in the car at the top of my driveway. The kid and his father are saying that my son crashed the car and someone got a dwi. Then I gave him the test. As it's doing its thing the kids mother and father show up at the door. No one knows the full story of what happened. My son swears he did nothing wrong but the mother got a call from some woman who saw the crashed car and her son passed out in the passenger seat. The whole thing does not make sense. I know my son is lying. The test comes back positive and he still lies to my face telling me he doesn't know how it got that way. I ask him about heroin because A) that's how it would show up and B) because my AD told me she heard he was using too. He then told me "shut the f$ck up!" I told him he can either get help or find another place to live.....so he packed a bag and left.
So now my AD is in jail and my AS is somewhere in complete denial. My husband is ready for a nervous breakdown. I, at least have SR, church, and my faith in God that I will trust that both my kids need to do this in their time not mine. I have to protect my 13yo. She's the minor, she still needs guidance, support, and a normal life. I just can't take anymore drama. I want to have at least one day that is free from anger, depression, resentment, blame, disappointment, confusion etc. even if it's not me then it's my husband and that ruins my mood too. Dam this drug and it's evil seduction and hold it has over my children.

Txhelp

jend...I am soooo sorry. I totally understand. I am where you are and holding your hand. My son just got out of hospital...he uses meth/synthetic marijuana. He now longer lives with me due to his drug use. We have offered sober living. He hasn't called since his release.

My daughter is out of the home for the same reason.

My husband is just out of rehab and doing quite well.

Expect the lies while they are using...some of the lies are easy to see through and others not so. I don't believe much at this point unless its in front of me.

It makes me sad but I know...now that there is nothing that I can control. I have already tried!

You are right...protect yourself and your 13 year old.

lizwig

Oh Jend....this scene in the driveway is the exact type of chaos I told my son I wanted to know nothing about....It's crazy to me they think these are normal interactions and try to act like we are such idiots because we can't follow their nonsensical explanations. Well you have the proof you need that it isn't just pot. Of course he is angry at you....they always are. Addicts don't like it when they get called out on their behavior, the jig is up. Sending you prayers for strength...

EJG123

Your husband has to deal with it in his own way. Mine needed to go to therapy before he could pull it together. Having our AD move out made a huge difference. It was just too hard to have a front row seat to the drama.

hopeful4

O Jend...I am so sorry. Hugs to you and your family. I will pray for strength for all of you.

bluebelle

I've experienced that insanity with my addicted stepdaughter. So many crazy things happen and she has so many excuses. Of course, it's always someone else's fault. (Her DOc is heroin.) it's good you kicked him out. I'm glad you have a support network in place for yourself. You can step away from the insanity and have a healthy environment for you and your 13 year old. Make the best of your time with her. It is possible for you and her to have stability even with the insanity around you. I know because I grew up in a home with addicts, but I have chosen to live my life drama free. I know it's hard, but your adult children's choices and mistakes are their own. I hope you find some peace now that AS is out of the home. Good for you for being there and creating a positive environment for your 13 year old. My thoughts are with you. Remember to be compassionate and kind with yourself!