Kys

I don't want to drink yet it's me who brings this on.

So frustrating, I've tried so many things and I always find a way to convince myself I'll start my new life 'tomorrow'.

Feels like I can't trust myself at times, can be unnerving.

Skye2

Hi Kys - what's been happening? Are you ok?

Kys

Hi Skye. Yeah I'm ok. Drank a few beers, ate, then tipped the booze. Didn't drink much but still drank.

Just a bit frustrated.

KateL

Think of that as a positive. You only had a few then tipped the booze. I don;t think I ever had the willpower to do that. It was all or nothing xx

Kys

Thanks Kate, that is a positive.

Skye2

Yeah - you tipped them away and signed in here

anchorbird

Keep coming here and posting, it's a good place to be.

IOAA2

When I procrastinated on a daily basis I was full of fear of the outcome. I didn't want to lose my friend who I thought was holding me together until I got honest with myself some how. It's a lot of work but worth every second of it to feel comfortable in my own skin.

BE WELL

Nonsensical

Hey, Kys, good to see you back here. I still have a liar living in my head, too. I'd like to get him out of there and kick the snot out of him for all the years of lies he's told me. Since my alcoholic and I seem to be inseparable I have to learn to live at peace with the Bastadge.

I'm sorry you're still struggling and frustrated. Considering anything new?

Rickh54

Hi Kys, sorry to hear you are struggling. It is a tough first step to get to the point of beating that AV at its own game. You have to have a plan each and every day and for each and every event or activity you attend. The drinking in moderation plan just does not work for us drunks. We have all tried that route and I would bet that 99.9% of us slip down that full blown drunk slope once again.
The mind is much stronger than the AV. Mine is and so is yours. Plan your day the minute your eyes open. What is your intention for the day? Have a drink(s) or don't have a drink.
Sounds simple, we all know its not. If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there

JaylaaKent

I know it's hard - but you really have to get some time between you and the drink to really see what drinking is doing to you. Took me about 2 weeks. Think about this - give yourself two weeks and see if you look at your drinking differently? Just two weeks of your life. Don't tell yourself "I'LL NEVER DRINK AGAIN!!" Just say "Ok I'm going to give it a few days, to just try this" You might gain some insight and realize you are an alcoholic and can't drink safely, or you might have some epiphany that you're not. Alcohol is a very powerful drug that impacts so many facets of our life. If you're an alcoholic you shouldn't drink. If your not an alcoholic, you don't need to drink - and can easily abstain. Give it a try - you might be surprised what your clear brain sees

ScottFromWI

What kinds of things have you tried Kys? None of them work unless you commit to them 100 percent of course. Some of us need extra help to start trusting ourselves as well...have you tried any face to face support or counseling?

Dee74

I always encourage people to think about what more they can add to their programme. I think it's particularly important for you Kys - I think you need a little more than just trying not to drink.

I spent years trying not to drink - all that would happen is I'd wear myself out...and drink.

I needed more support, and I needed to make changes in my life, because my life and my leisure activities, my stress release, my medicine...it was all about the booze.

maybe it's time to get some help Kys?

D

Kys

Thanks everyone.

I put in a lot but if I'm being honest with myself I couldn't always say it's 100%. Good food for thought.

And more so perhaps, is not just giving in if I have a bump, or a hard day, good day etc. I can get very perfectionistic about the whole thing and bury perspective.

I was seeing someone for support recently and it was really working for me. Decided to put it off until Jan when I can get the cost subsidised but if I do the math (I just did) I spend more on booze than I would continuing the support. I'm going to pick it up again now rather than wait.

Will keep everyone posted. Thanks for the encouragement and reminders.

Kys

Booked in for the sessions again. As soon as I did I knew it was the right move.

Feeling good, and sober

Need to roll up the sleeves and remember the immediate and long term benefits A day a time is good right now.

Dee74

Great stuff kys