13unluckyforsom

Don't know where I stand - I've had a drink - not sure if it's a problem for me - hmm

MIRecovery

There is no problem a drink will not make worse. What is going on?

dwtbd

I doubt you are posting for permission, but if it's for some advice mine would be to stop now. The fact that there is a question , that you are not sure, is enough to stop and then reconsider.
If there is no problem ,then not having anymore is no big deal.
If you convince yourself that you have no problem and then end up drinking more than you thought you intended to, that would give you another answer.
I say err on the side of caution, stop for tonight and give some honest thought to your actions. Keeping in mind your past experiences.
Probably a good idea to post, so good on that.

foolsgold66

It was a problem before, wasn't it, 13? Odds are about a zillion to 1 it won't be a problem again. I don't think I've seen you posting for a while. Have you been drinking or sober before tonight?

Regardless, best thing to do is pour it all out and start anew.

Dee74

Some great advice 13.

If it wasn't a problem I don't think you'd be here?

D

freshstart57

13, I should think you are standing at the precise spot where your feet are. A better question might be, where are your feet taking you?

It is your choice where you are going, as it always has been, and always will be.

mecanix

Hey 13 ,
For me the indecision was a problem , did i have a problem , did i want to know i had a problem ,did i want to admit to having a problem , did i want to do anything about having a problem , just have a drink and forget the problems but that only keeps the problems alive , making myself a real martyr to my problems .. such a burden ! …..… i spent years running round not actually doing or achieving anything . Just don't drink and that set of problems are resolved and you have no questions or problems about it then , drop it and get on with making a sober life as good as possible and find a new set of far more interesting problems ..

Thats how it was for me ,

Bestwishes, m

fini

so, hey 13,

if you couldn't stop you were ready to end it.
so you stopped. that was a good move, looks like.
then....something turned in your mind and you thought you wouldn't really need to stop, it's not the stopping that mattered anymore but the being in charge? having control?
so you had a drink and maybe you stopped there, leading to a question about control all over again.

i stopped and started again many times, always in my mind was the "see??? i can stop...must mean there is no problem. yippeee, i'm in charge, it's obvious."

how do you look at this?
what was your thinking that got you there and how do you see it now, afterwards?

13unluckyforsom

"If you couldn't stop you were ready to end it"

freshstart57

The only way I can put myself back in the driver's seat of the bus that is me, is to make this vow to never drink. For me, that is over, and in the past. That is the only way that I can come to peace with myself, to understand that that person who was me while drinking, is gone forever. I am now remade after this 'freshstart'. I am free to be me.

fini

13,
the reason i pulled this out from your previous post was because you started this thread wondering if having a drink was a problem....seems like there were times in the past you knew for sure.

where are you at?
is this playing in/on you now?

jkb

Hi 13-

How are things going? Still "wrestling the beast"? Hope all is well and Happy Holidays...
Jess

13unluckyforsom

You nail it every time M - the 'problem' need not be - the choice is mine

13unluckyforsom

Yknow I know this is an excuse but I just want to share my thoughts - I thought getting out my bad relationship would fix everything - it didn't - it helped but someone I value said to me last night that I have 'an inner sadness' that makes me sad - I wish it didn't show. Granted this person is close to me and knows my thoughts - I just want to be lol I hate all the labels that are put on me. I label myself sometimes but I'm trying not to - their so self limiting

Dee74

I think drinking only masks that inner sadness - it's bandaid that keeps losing it's stickyness.

I know it's scary but I really believe the only way we can come to grips with our sadness and our problems is stay sober and face them...then we can work out healthy ways to deal, and heal.

wishing you the best for the new year 13

D

13unluckyforsom

I'm so good at bring normal when sober - why when I'm drunk can't I be so good

Dee74

I was never in my right mind when I was drunk.

I found I could be who I wanted to be...or I could drink - but not both, 13.

D

13unluckyforsom

I understand dee but I also feel like I'm only honest drunk - I know that there's thoughts we all have that we should keep to ourselves because their just thoughts but I know when I sober what's ok to share but drunk I purge my brain

Dee74

Really? I never felt I was more honest drunk - less inhibited maybe, but often I just said things to hurt.

There's often good reason to be inhibited - especially when you look back at the social and relationship train crashes I was part of.

D

13unluckyforsom

This is where I'm lost and I know alcohol isn't ever going to help me - I just need some clarification - does everyone have odd negative and distructive thoughts sober? It's just my thoughts scare me at times and I'm a thinker but sober - it's between me myself and I / drunk I feel I need an opinion and verification/validation