Acheleus

Now on 20 days and a meeting every night has helped. My sponsor left town but I have a lot of numbers--however I feel apprehensive about calling people. Tonight I graded papers at a coffee shop and I walked earlier in the day. I am learning to settle down and work on things like self care, patience, and being grateful. Looking forward to my first sober xmas in years.

ScottFromWI

Great work Ach. What a wonderful gift you'll be giving yourself with a sober Christmas

Dee74

People give out numbers precisely for you to call them Ach - it's cool
Call some numbers and have a good rest of your weekend

D

digdug

Calling people is hard in the beginning. But trust me when I tell you this. They want you to call them. I love when a newcomer calls me. It doesn't happen that often, but I give my number out and make myself available because I want to hear from them.

The reason is that you calling someone helps them as much as it helps you. I know that may seem a bit paradoxical, but it's true. It's the same principal as sponsorship.

So pick up the phone and call the first number. You may get voicemail so leave a message. You may get someone who can't talk right now because they're in the middle of something. But you will eventually get someone who wants to help you.

Keep it up!

sugarbear1

Call. It helps them, too!

Hawkeye13

Hi Ach;
Congrats on your 20 days. Sounds like you are making solid progress
and I think a sober Xmas sounds great! Not too many more papers
before you get a break I hope--I'm facing two stacks this morning myself :-)
Hang in there

JaylaaKent

I feel the same way sometimes - but believe it or not you are helping them with their sobriety by reaching out. You might make a new friend as well. Congrats you're doing awesome.

Acheleus

Yes I will call someone to tell them about my isolating and stuff. I have a paper to write this weekend and a bunch of stuff to grade. Going to a meeting tonight and I think I may go to an afternoon one. All I know is sobriety is my priority right now, and I want to stay sober so I can figure out who I am and what I want to do when I grow up. I am 28 and I feel, emotionally, like a 15 year old--so I am learning to not be so hard on myself.

One thing though. I only have one parent as family, and that person drinks everyday, so like I spent Thanksgivinc alone I think this xmas might just be me and my higher power. Being alone is ok right now though. All my relationships were warped by alcohol, now I have to learn to build healthy friendships.

malcolmsloan

20 days is impressive, Acheleus. Good job. I see that you are grading papers, writing papers, and 28--in grad school, yes? Well, traveled a similar path and I can't say how positive it is that you are getting control of your drinking now, early on. I'm in the middle of my 13th year teaching, and how I wish would have addressed this issue earlier. I taught too many classes hungover (one day I almost threw up while lecturing), and spent too many hours grading papers while feeling so ill. I should have been going out to the coffee shops like you. Again, good work.

digdug

You don't have to be alone on the holidays. Since you're in a college town, I'm sure there has to be an alcothon around, where there are meetings all day and night, plus tons of fun socializing time. Or you may get invited by someone in AA to spend Christmas with them. I know one of my friends reached out and invited anyone who didn't have anywhere to go on Thanksgiving to her house. The more the merrier she said.

You never have to be alone again if you don't want to be.

I still feel like I'm a teenager inside. I started getting high and drinking in my early teens and it stunted my growth emotionally. It's weird having to learn basic social skills, but you'll get there. I'm glad you're giving yourself a break and not beating yourself up.

Acheleus

Yes I wish I had thought about grad school begore coming. Now I feel burned out and disillusioned with what I once felt passionate about. Since losing my gf I just thought I was worthless and began binging suicidally on the weekends. In sobriety I hope to discover what I really enjoy, and I know I have to accept things the way they are. I am not a bad person because I hate school, I just need to accept who I am, and I want a regular job and time alone to work through my sobriety. My whole life I have not done one thing I wanted to do, and now I think I have a chance to live my own life. Being away from my family helps.