LiaAc

I'm not new to recovery, though. I have lost count of how many times I have tried this.

My name is Lia. I'm 33, female, married. I'm coming off a 26-30 pill a day habit (Tramadol).

I have tried this many times and always failed because the withdrawals are so awful. Going cold turky off Tramadol is the most difficult thing I've ever done in my life. This time I am in a new state of mind and maturity, I think I might actually make it this time.

I was in a rehab center and outpatient treatment once about three years ago, but the outpatient meetings left me emotionally and physically drained. I went back to the pills one week out of rehab.

My first sobriety date, which I have never marked before when I have done this, is November 28th- Thanksgiving of this year. I have two days sober.

Thanks for reading this. I am going to try very hard to participate in these forums in the hopes that connecting with others in the same boat I am will assist me in getting to where I want and need to be in my life- that is, permanently free of the pills. Maybe my experiences can help someone else too.

newme2day

Welcome lia. I am closing out day 7 of sobriety. My demon is alcohol and my struggles began 20 years ago little did i know at the time. Just wondering if you have sought medical attention for the withdrawals? I dont have experience with that but it sounds like you have been through that before. Best of luck to you during this time. We took a big step
. . We are here and we know we have a problem. Keep me posted on how its going!

LiaAc

Once I tried working with a doctor who continued me on the Tramadol to wean me off. Otherwise I was told by three different doctors that there was little that could be done for me, at least medically. For the time I was an inpatient at the rehab facility, all they could do was monitor my blood pressure and give me acetaminophen for the muscle pain. I think one of the biggest problems with Tramadol is that it isn't considered very addictive, or at least that is the way thinking has been. It may be changing.

What I am doing now is monitoring my own blood pressure and just taking OTC pain killers to help with the muscle pain. Otherwise I am on my own. Someone suggested I look into Suboxone but there is only ONE doctor in my area who is authorized to prescribe it. I live in a moderately sized city and you think there would be more options. This suboxone doctor had a three week waiting period for patients, and everything would have to be paid out of pocket. Several hundreds of dollars.

Congrats on your 7 days, I hope you're very happy with your progress! You deserve to be! Yes, we have taken a big step. It's very difficult. I've never bothered to share my experiences with anyone before, and nobody else in my family has ever had an addiction so they know nothing of the demons we face. Sharing our experiences here seems to be very therapeutic and positive.

Skye2

to SR Lia Xx

LiaAc

Thank you You're in the UK! Where I went for my honeymoon!!

Skye2

Really? London or travelling around?

Correy

LiaAc

It seems to me the trick is to do one's best during first craving crisis, with an awareness that it would go away, and than keep it up.

I'm two months sober today and I remember my 14th day crisis - I came here and wrote something along the lines that I knew I was going to drink and the support here, just a word or two of common sense here and there, had helped me snap out of that insanity attack.

Since than I had two or three minor crisis and today I feel like I owe the sober world of Correy

What I'm trying to say is, I guess: it does get easier.

Good luck.

LiaAc

Both, actually. We stayed in London a few days and then spent our remaining time traveling around to Oxford and Abingdon, where relatives of mine once lived, and seeing Salisbury Cathedral. We didn't even begin to see everything we wanted to. But what we did see was wonderful. We loved it. London was lots of fun. You have a beautiful country!

LiaAc

Thank you so much Correy. That has been one of my biggest problems is getting simply through one day. Thinking of getting to two days, a week, two weeks, a month...it is very overwhelming. I am trying very hard not to have a crisis but I am glad that this is a place to go if you do have one.

Congrats on two months, today! A very Merry Sober Day to you!

Dee74

A belated welcome to you Lia
I don't know much about Tramadol but I know it's great to be free of addiction.

welcome aboard

D

LiaAc

Thank you Dee.

Tramadol is a moderate opiate pain killer that has been considered safer to use, and less addictive, than something like Vicodin. My problem has been the exact opposite: I've had Vicodin for surgery and dental work, and I have never had a problem with it. Tramadol, on the other hand, has been my drug of choice because of the effect it has on my brain as well as my body. At my peak I was taking around 30 tablets a day (I think I mentioned that before, so forgive me; a little tired and uncomfortable).

Anyway, I apologize for getting off on a tangent. Thank you for your welcome, I very much appreciate it.

Dee74

Seeing your Enz avatar reminded me how I always thought 'I Hope I Never' could be a really cool recovery song:



I fall apart when you're around
When you're here, I'm nowhere
I can't pretend that I'm not down
I show it, I know it

I've been a fool
More than once, more than twice
I'm gonna move to a new town
Where the people are nice

I hope I never
I hope I never have to sigh again
I hope I never
I hope I never have to cry again

I still want to beam and smile
Happiness is back in style
I hope I never
I hope I never have to see you again
Again

It should be possible I know
To see you without stress
But I can see I'll have to go
I'm changing my address

My urge to cry
I have failed to conceal
Life, it's no fun when you're hunted
By the things that you feel

I hope I never
I hope I never have to cry again
I hope I never
I hope I never have to sigh again

I'm for living while you can
I'm an optimistic man
I hope I never
I hope I never have to see you again
Again

I hope I never
I hope I never
I hope I never
Never, never, never

I hope I never
I hope I never have to see you again

LiaAc

Ayeeeee I was hoping someone would know what my avatar was!!!

This is a gorgeous song and I haven't heard it in ages. You're absolutely right about the lyrics. Recovery can be like breaking up in a way.

And that piano is incredible.

Dee74

Yeah there's a few Aussies and Kiwis here

D

LiaAc

Actually I just now noticed your locale- Strailya. Now I feel like a dummy for not seeing it before lol!