Need support
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 4
Need support
I need support and advice on how to detach from my alcoholic mother who refuses help. She's been drinking since i was out 10 and still continues. I'm 30 now. I had to raise my younger brother and sister growing up because she was always too drunk. I want to break away from her.
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
Welcome to SR, nurturer. You have found a place full of people who understand exactly what you are going through and what you are feeling. It's terribly sad to watch a loved one destroy themselves and know that there's nothing we can do to stop them.
I hope you'll find the support you are looking for here. Please be sure to read the sticky threads at the top of this forum and also at the top of the F&F of Alcoholics forum. You will find a lot of useful information there. I'm glad you found us! (((HUGS)))
I hope you'll find the support you are looking for here. Please be sure to read the sticky threads at the top of this forum and also at the top of the F&F of Alcoholics forum. You will find a lot of useful information there. I'm glad you found us! (((HUGS)))
RIP Sweet Suki
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: In my sanctuary, my home
Posts: 39,905
You are posting in one of the Friends and Family forums, which is fine. We also have one for F&F of Alcoholics. Here's a link...
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Finger Lakes, NY
Posts: 521
While I can't offer any advise on how to break away, I can sympathize with how you feel. I've watched my mom drink all of my life (I am 49, she is 83). She goes on binges where she will drink for days on end then either spend weeks recovering (shakes, vomiting, sweating, puking....) or end up in the hospital. Yet, she doesn't think she has a problem! It's so sad to watch. I'm so sorry you are going through all of this. I hope she gets some help.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Posts: 499
Welcome to the forum. I also am an adult child of alcoholics/addicts (ACoA) and I raised my sister in that environment, similar to how you did with your siblings. Working with a therapist well-versed in addiction and ACoA research and strategies has been enormously helpful for me. In addition to the ACoA Sourcebook, I also recommend "After the Tears - Helping Adult Children of Alcoholics Heal Their Childhood Trauma" by Jane Middelton-Moz and Lorie Dwinell.
There's an ACoA forum here with a ton of great information, although it's not as active as the other family forums. Chances are quite high that addiction has touched your life in ways aside from just your mother, that's just one of the many side-effects of growing up in a toxic environment. When I first found out that there were groups for ACoAs I spent several days reading and crying tears of overwhelming sad relief that I wasn't a crazy, broken monster. Stick around, keep reading and posting, you're not alone in this. We're walking with you.
There's an ACoA forum here with a ton of great information, although it's not as active as the other family forums. Chances are quite high that addiction has touched your life in ways aside from just your mother, that's just one of the many side-effects of growing up in a toxic environment. When I first found out that there were groups for ACoAs I spent several days reading and crying tears of overwhelming sad relief that I wasn't a crazy, broken monster. Stick around, keep reading and posting, you're not alone in this. We're walking with you.
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