Erik1980

I didn't drink for nearly a month. I felt amazing, everything was going great. I decided I'd try to work a few beers here and there back into my life. Next thing you know, 2 days later I went out drinking all day, bought a bottle of tequilla and quickly proceeded to drink it. Now I feel like crap once again, and I remember just why it is I wanted to stop drinking in the first place. Work last night was excruciating! The feeling of nausea and anxiety. Ugggh, still feeling the anxiety now! Why did I think it'd be a good idea to drink? So not pleased with my decision making. Oh well, I guess it's back on the wagon, because I don't feel one bit like drinking right now. This is quite the frustrating endeavor. It's so hard to recall how absolutely awful you can feel when you feel so good after not drinking for a while.

ZeldaFan

I did the exact same thing. Went 39 days and then decided to get a bottle of Vodka. I polished that off in one night and felt horrible the next day. I did the same thing two more times that month and then decided I actually hated drinking. I didn't have fun when I was doing it and felt horrible and extremely anxious the next few days. I can honestly say, almost a month from my last slip, that I have no desire to pick up a drink. Remember how you feel now and it will help you stay on track!

Thepatman

Many of us have done the same as you. It's that confident feeling we get when we have a few weeks under our belt.

Problem is that our brake pedal is broken, once we start the drunk truck, it just won't stop. Brush it off and get back up.

deeker

Defense against the first drink - AA FAQ


You may find this interesting. It comes out of the AA Big Book. please read all the way through.

soberhawk

Welcome back Erik.

Erik1980

It's just so frustrating! Why can't I go out and have a few beers like a normal person and not end up sometime er other in the not too distant future sitting in my apartment downing the greater part of a bottle of hard alcohol and then feeling like death for 2 days..? It's so incredibly frustrating... Even more frustrating is that I was really really enjoying being sober for the first time in like 10 years and yet somehow I put the blinders on and said screw it, knowing all to well it was likely to end up this way... Grrrrrr! 2 steps forward, 1 step back I suppose....

Anna

Erik, the main thing is to learn and move on.

You know what happens when you try to drink moderately and it doesn't work.

I'm glad you're back.

Erik1980

Yeah this is true! I'm glad I had that month of clarity because I was really starting to tangibly see the benefits in my life of staying sober. It is going to make it easier knowing how great I felt a week ago is really within my reach, I just have to do it I guess. everything in my life was SO much better. Can't wait to get back to it!

ClearMind

The sooner I realized I couldn't moderate, the sooner I put my mind at ease and now things are a bit easier - although I'm only 13 days in, I feel more positive about quiting now. I know I can never drink normally, therefore I know I can never drink again. I'm terrible at drinking.

Erik1980

Yeah I hear ya... I felt that way too and then after like a month I had lost sight of that.

wehav2day

Erik, I remember how much it sucked finding I couldn't drink like normal people. Then I reminisced on all the good things about alcohol. Craft beers, good tequila, nice red wine. But eventually I realized that beer just made me bloated, I couldn't hardly taste wine when I was too busy chugging it, and even good tequila tears up my stomach and turns me into an idiot. After a few minutes of pouting, I realized it really doesn't matter that I can't drink like a normal person. It's over. Like any other bad relationship, I had to let it go.

It feels so much better to be liberated of all that junk. It's totally cool to not be able to drink like normal people now. I'm not 6 feet tall and won't be an NBA superstar either and I'm cool with that .