spiralingup

... So, how do people pick rehab facilities? It is really confusing to me. I spoke to a lady I know whose one son has gone 5 times and is now in number 6 and her other son is on number 3 I think, and she really didn't tell me how they pick them. She just told me not to send my son where her two sons are right now in Florida. (The boys are friends from kindergarten and partied a lot together.)

I am thinking that this weekend is going to be the "take him to detox" weekend I hope. Money gotten at end of September, gone... : ( He knows he has to do this. He is very scared I think. I am too...

I hope everyone has a lovely weekend. : )

Take care.

su : )

overit263

My AXH went to several in his life time, and the last few times I drove him to the hospital first for a psych eval and then they decided where he should go. I think it all depends on how much the addict wants sobriety. If they want it, the facility will do them good, if not, then they will just pick up as soon as they are out. That's just my experience. The last one he went to he said he loved and that he really liked the place itself as well as the staff...unfortunately I don't think it mattered because I'm pretty sure he's still using. For him it is more about going to meetings and finding someone that's had clean time for a long time and that he could relate to. I'm sorry this is how you're spending your weekend, but if he wants the help...that's fantastic! I think most addicts going into rehab are scared, no matter how many times they've been. I was crying so hard at the first one that I took AXH too that people in the lobby thought I was the one entering rehab!

jazzfish

There is a relatively new book out called Inside Rehab that many people have found helpful. It might be worth a try, although I have not read it. I do find the author's other book on sobriety to be excellent.

Lily1918

a lot of times it is about money. please I beg you, don't waste your money on a month long stay for $30,000. There are free and state run programs that are low cost that are just as good, if not better than the really expensive ones. The Salvation Army imho is the best rehab in the country, and teen challenge is right up there with it.

atalose

What I have witnessed myself is, rehabs - from the most expensive, highly recommended, low cost, free or state run...........are only as good as the addict allows them to be.

If the addict is only going to appease a court, a mom or dad, wife, husabd, girlfriend, gboyfriend.....it's not going to work for them because THEY truly do not want it for themselves.

Rehabs are a chance, an opportunity for the alcoholic/addict to help themselves. They are provided tools, and it's up to them to pick up those tools and use them then continue to use them once they are out.

It's really not about how good a rehab is its really about how much does the person really want sobriety for themselves. Because the people who really want it work hard for it, do what they need to do to keep it.

If someone comes out of rehab and uses again - then they really don't want sobriety yet., And pushing them back into a different rehab is a wast of everyone's time and effort.

Ilovemysonjj

My son has been to rehab two times, both were court ordered. The second one "STUCK" and he has been sober for 9+ months, 5 since he got out of jail and 45 days since he graduated from his program. what worked for him was the fellowship aspect. He has changed his friends to ONLY be people in recovery, he is now going to AA meetings and just picked a sponsor. For him, the aspect that worked was that this rehab was in a ranch setting with meetings, meditation, group sessions. He found a place he could be comfortable in, and many people were overcoming the same addictions and consequences. I also googled this one and read the reviews which helped me better understand their program philosophy.

Upsetnneedhelp

In my opinion rehabs very widely. The ones that cost more are usually better but not always. Some rehabs will have most of the clients who are court mandated and those tend to not be as good. Simply because they are not motivated to stay sober.

allforcnm

I did a lot of research when I was selecting rehab options for my husband, so I sympathize with you – it is very confusing.

I think it is an incredibly important decision, and I think there are huge differences in rehabs. In my opinion, a good rehab will strive to meet the individual needs of the patient –no cookie cutter approaches. I think the best rehabs will offer lots of professional help: medical doctors, psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists, nutritionists, etc. & a small doctor to patient ratio so each patient can get the full attention they require - this will be the core of the treatment.

Most people enter rehab due to the urging of family, friends, employers, or legal issues according to NIDA. A good rehab will have professionals who can work through the fear, denial and help a patient engage in treatment. I also think another consideration is the comfort level the patient will have in the selected rehab. It was really important for me that my husband had an environment that matched his lifestyle, and it did seem to help him adjust to his 90 day stay & improve his emotional state.

I also suggest you look at the Principles of Effective Treatment as defined by National Institute of Drug Abuse as it discusses this very issue and provides guidelines to help patients and families select treatment: Principles of Effective Treatment | National Institute on Drug Abuse

rcutch

My AH went to one of the top 5 facilities ranked in the nation, at that rate of $30,000 for a month. Fortunately our insurance covered the cost - because less then 2 weeks out he went on a 3 day binge and disappeared (which was a new level for us). Ironically with someone he met at the facility. The only thing I can thank that facility for is the family program - I spent 5 days there and that is where I was got a better understanding of codependency, NarAnon and really started working on myself.

Just 10 months later my AH decided he couldn't take it any longer. He checked himself into a free facility located near our home for a 4 day detox. He came home, shut himself in a room we had in the basement with no windows and slept for about 2 weeks. When he decided to rejoin life he did 90/90, attended church, and took his recovery seriously. He decided enough was enough. He still says to this day, he knows what he needs to do - he just needs to make the decision to do it. No rehab can help him with that. He has relapsed, and I have learned no rehab can stop that.

spiralingup

Thank you all for your words. : )

Last night we drove 75 miles to a hospital that deals with emergency detox situations. My son was not in severe enough "stress" to be taken. The girl at the er desk said that they had pretty strict evaluation criteria. So, he was very upset. We got back in the car and drove back home.

Today, I took off work. I am going to look for somewhere. I just don't know where I will look. The one place I called said no bed until Tuesday or Wednesday. And that could have changed by now.

My son was saying "goodbye" to his friends and stuff yesterday. They all want him to get help too. From what he tells me, he's the only one with a problem with h. He said even his dealer wished him well. ugh. That sorta amazes me...

So we will get through this day and I will look up some withdrawal info I guess. I am also going to tell him he should delete his contact numbers on his phone. I was thinking that might be a good idea. I was hoping so hard they would just take him last night. And I think he was too.

Thank you again for your responses. I need them. : )

Take care.


su : )

cynical one

I once chose what I thought was the best rehab for someone else. I wouldn’t ever again put myself into that situation again. Everything from the quality of the staff, a snoring roommate, the food, the relapse, and the color of the walls became my fault.

Ann

The Salvation Army rehabs are free and are very good. No rehab is a cure, they teach better ways to live and how to get through the urges to use and stay sober. The effectiveness of any program is directly related to the willingness of the person seeking help.

Most programs deal with mental health issues as well as addiction since both need to be dealt with by the time an addict reaches this stage.

My prayers go out for you, for him and for all who struggle today.

Hugs

jacrazz

I read it and found it informative. I recommend it. Its more of look into how most rehabs are one size fits all "12-step" approach where that may not work for everybody.

My son is at a great place. pm me if you would like some info.

spiralingup

jacrazz : ) ~ I messaged you.

I just read my NarAnon book for the past half hour. It does help. I was having the HUGEST anxiety attack yesterday afternoon/last night. It was just so unbelievable. I hate that feeling.

Today will be better. I need to "snap out of it" and clean and do some stuff. Yesterday I bought a little toy for myself (a tablet) that I have wanted for months and I didn't even open it. And that's weird for me... : P

Off to the shower. The das just went back to bed and I am going to leave him alone today. I cannot get info really for anything on a Sunday, so I will take a great BIG breath and go on with this day. I will write some notes of what I need to do, who I will call and see what happens. My one boss yesterday, who has a brother with this problem, was telling me how he was taken to the same hospital that we went to and did not get in either. Then he went to another and didn't get in. I don't really know what his outcome was cause the desk phone rang and she never finished her story. : ( Oh well.

Enough of my babbling...

I hope that all have a lovely day. : ) The sun is shining so gloriously here. It is a nice day.

Take care all. : )



su : )

SeekingGrowth

I don't think this is necessarily true ... although I agree that "pushing" someone into rehab is unlikely to result in long-term recovery. Certainly an addict has to want recovery, first and foremost, but there are many times when they DO in fact want it yet underestimate the power of the foe that they are up against. Very often, it takes multiple tries to find the way that works. I read a statistic recently that the average number of times an addict enters rehab before achieving long-term recovery is five. All you have to do is take a read in the Newcomers forum to see many people who really do want recovery, yet slip for all kinds of reasons. Some make it back right away, some make it back later, and some don't come back.

While there are many similarities among addicts, there are also many differences that bear on their ability to stay clean, and on what it will require for them to stay clean. Time of first use, life circumstances that they are coping with, co-occurring mental health issues (which are involved very, very frequently), DOC - all these variables and more impact the level of difficulty faced by an addict in trying to achieve long-term recovery. There have been many times when I have sat with an addict going through the admissions process at the rehab facility where I volunteered, who was entering rehab for the second, third, or fourth time, and this person was so incredibly frustrated, dejected, and filled with self-loathing that he/she was here AGAIN, and that he/she hadn't been able to sustain recovery. Not everyone entering rehab is serious about recovery, or really wants it, but you can't assume that failure to sustain recovery after rehab means that the addict never really wanted it in the first place.

Any rehab facility provides only the start of the recovery journey, and as good or as bad as the facility is, it may or may not provide the basis for long term recovery the first time around ... or the second, or third. But each time, the addict learns a little more, grows a little more, and hopefully, ultimately, finds the way that will work for him or her.

BlueChair

I read this book when my husband was in rehab, was recommended to me and I agree it is very good, made me feel better about the rehab we picked !! Also a good book is Clean by David Sheff