sweetmamaof3

Title says it all. I don't know how to end this cycle. I fee like its much easier to just keep drinking.

Flying4Life

You'll get there. This process is already beginning for you or you would not have joined and posted here. Stay around and best of luck! (((HUGS)))

ImperfectlyMe

You know what... It is easier to keep drinking! But the outcome of continuing to drink is bleak to say the least. Anything that's worth it in life takes hard work. I can't think of a job that requires this much work (temporarily) that is more important then taking care of yourself!

KateL

You want to get better so keep hold of that and something should click x

Nonsensical

Once you're addicted, it is easier to keep drinking.

My therapist asked me once if that's the advice I'd give one of my children if they were addicted to alcohol. "Just keep drinking, it's easier."

Best of luck on your journey.

Dee74

It might seem easier now...but alcoholism is progressive - it gets harder and harder to keep all those balls in the air...the trouble is quitting gets harder and harder too.

you deserve better. Your kids do too.

Are you still going to AA?

D

newme2day

Seems easier but think about the amount of time and energy drinking takes! For me the obsessive thoughts, worrying if iwas going to have time to drink this weekend. . . It took over. I would much rather think about the next movie to see with the kids. Hang in there. You can beat this. One day at a time!

methodman1019

What I've found over the years of trying to stop is that I couldn't undo the beginnings of recovery. Once there was no denial, drinking became less fun and more just a "giving in" to the obsession. When I was drinking all I could think about was stopping, and when I was stopped all I could think about was drinking. The latter was much harder, but the results of stopping clearly held more serenity and built my self esteem. I'm finally letting it go and I'm going to see where this new life leads. Best of luck to you!

All the best,
Methodman

IOAA2

Hi. I remember when that feeling was overwhelming within me also. It's a good memory for me now to keep green. At meetings people pointed out all the negatives, loss of self respect, loss of family, home and job etc. I knew they were right but as soon as I took the next first drink I didn't care and again felt miserable the next morning because I promised MYSELF I wouldn't drink last night. Then one day at a meeting someone asked me if I wanted my children to be like me and the thought of that was horrifying. They pointed out that children learn mostly by observation and will probably repeat what they see from a parent.
Very shortly afterward I plugged the jug permanently. I'm not saying it was easy at first but it sure got better as soon as I felt more comfortable in my own skin.

BE WELL

misspond

By the time you've found this forum, you know that there's a problem. This place allows you to explore the possibility that that problem can be solved, however difficult the solution appears to be to our addicted brains.

Just keep trying sweetmamaof3, and then you'll be free. Once you open yourself up to the possibility that you can survive without your poison the world opens up even more. x

Threshold

It may be easier to keep drinking now, but in a while it won't be.

I guess it depends on whether or not you are a procrastinator or a "get on it" sort of person.

Like learning many new things, sobriety is a lot of work at the start, but it gets better. It's not a huge, day after day, struggle, white knuckling life.

Drinking gets worse. and worse. and worse.

I have NEVER heard anyone say they wish they'd kept drinking another ten years, but I've heard many people say they wish they'd sobered up, ten, twenty, or thirty years earlier than they did.

Mountainmanbob

sometimes that is exactly what it takes
more booze
to convince us that we are alcoholic

how many times have I deceived myself
lost count

MM

MIRecovery

Speaking from first hand experience it gets easier when you've lost the people that love you, your spouse. your health your freedom, your job. When your life has declined to three states. being drunk thinking about getting drunk, or recovering from being drunk.

These are just some of the bonus' of long-term alcoholism. The good news is that it does not have to get this bad. We can choose to get off the alcohol roller coaster anytime we want.

DoubleDragons

Today is two months sober for me. I am finding that the more time that I have put in between me and drinking, the easier it is to fight the cravings. The consequences to pick up the drink seem more dire with more sober time under my belt. It feels like I have more to lose, as sobriety gets easier. Just hang on for three months and then reevaluate. Three months is when the majority of SR members say that the worst of early sobriety is over. Three months is nothing compared to the 27 years that I gave to drinking.

ScottFromWI

What will you have to lose to make you ready? Some lose it all...literally. Do you think your 3 kids would prefer you keep drinking for a while until you are "ready" as well?

Ruby2

SweetMama, I can only imagine the challenges you face as a stay at home mom. I couldn't do it. My temperament and levels of patience are not what they should be. Reading your earlier posts I wondered whether you had seen a doctor about possible depression? Might be worth a try. You said you didn't have insurance but perhaps there is a low cost clinic near you. If you can afford the alcohol you can probably afford that and what would be healthier for you?

I know it is hard to quit but far better for you in the long run. Hang in there.

Johnston

It's worth stopping, believe me. Please keep coming back to the forums.

Hawkeye13

Don't give up ever.
You are worth it and you have the strength within you.
Lots of us took many tries, but the prize of sober peace is so worth it.

Mountainmanbob

rang my bell with those ones
yes, I lost all of the above because of my drinking except for the job
and that was a very close call
more than once being called on the carpet at work due to my drinking

I wish to never forget how hard the drinking life was
and
how easy life is today (not taken for granted)

I was tied to the bottle day and night for many years

it took many attempts at recovery before taking hold

freedom from the bottle is an amazing thing

MM

MIRecovery

It takes what it takes for us to get sober. I believe it took all of the pain and suffering I experienced for me to get sober. Looking back I can see how the solution was always with in my reach I just chose to not reach out and grasp it