May as well spit it all out
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
May as well spit it all out
Figure I may as we'll get my thoughts out on here bc I'm not going to do it anywhere else , so apologies if it's a bit random.
So my kids has their grad dance last night , man they looked so beautiful and so scary old ( they are nearly 13 twin girls ). I got my hairdresser friend over to do hair and makeup and I did something I thought was the right ( ?? ) thing and the best thing I invited their dad to come over and see them as I knew he would be in awe and thought I need to help a connection between them ( after him cheating earlier this yr with my friend , smoking loads of crack , he's now pretty much not speaking to any of us and not contacting the girls - ugh )
All was well he turned up in his best suit ready to dance the last waltz with them , took loads of photos etc.
anyway when the time comes for the last dance a lot of kids are running up to their mum and dads to ask for a dance , ours are no where to be seen , he starts tearing up so I offer to go and find them , I found one they had a dance. Alls well.
On the way we take to mc ds for dessert and then it starts : I'm " awkward" how I order , then I'm driving too fast over speed bumps making him spill his drink , when I say no I'm not ( I realise how petty this all sounds - but arnt they always ) he says , in a cold cold low voice I really hate you.
I in turn reply with don't speak to me like that or get out of my car , he with you ruin everything you drunken bi$ch ( btw I'm not drunk , nor close to it ) I cry , one of the girls looses it saying why do you have to do this on our night. Get home he leaves , I apologise to girls. I'm so upset I don't even want to drink ! Go figure.
All I was trying to do was the right thing and it gets slammed back in my faCe when all along I could have said nothing and been by myself and happy. He contributed nothing for their night , all paid for by me even though I asked for help. Today I get told I bring it on myself. And calling me a drunk is his first port of call to abuse.
My councillor today called him an adolescent. It peeves me to think his FB page will now be full of photos of him and girls looking all glam and it's such bs , and I helped create the allusion he gets to lie about.
Look I'm just ranting so I don't drink it away. I know the saddest part of all this is my girls not wanting to be like the other girls and rush up to their daddy and dance. It totally sux that they have to feel like that. It's against the grain. And who cares about his FB friends thinking he's dad of the year when he knows he's not. I know all of that. I just felt so effing used and abused once more. And no one took a photo of me with the kids. Just feel like the maid sometimes. Like I said rant rant , just need to get it out there I'm sure there are others who go thru this pathetic sad stuff too. Cheers
So my kids has their grad dance last night , man they looked so beautiful and so scary old ( they are nearly 13 twin girls ). I got my hairdresser friend over to do hair and makeup and I did something I thought was the right ( ?? ) thing and the best thing I invited their dad to come over and see them as I knew he would be in awe and thought I need to help a connection between them ( after him cheating earlier this yr with my friend , smoking loads of crack , he's now pretty much not speaking to any of us and not contacting the girls - ugh )
All was well he turned up in his best suit ready to dance the last waltz with them , took loads of photos etc.
anyway when the time comes for the last dance a lot of kids are running up to their mum and dads to ask for a dance , ours are no where to be seen , he starts tearing up so I offer to go and find them , I found one they had a dance. Alls well.
On the way we take to mc ds for dessert and then it starts : I'm " awkward" how I order , then I'm driving too fast over speed bumps making him spill his drink , when I say no I'm not ( I realise how petty this all sounds - but arnt they always ) he says , in a cold cold low voice I really hate you.
I in turn reply with don't speak to me like that or get out of my car , he with you ruin everything you drunken bi$ch ( btw I'm not drunk , nor close to it ) I cry , one of the girls looses it saying why do you have to do this on our night. Get home he leaves , I apologise to girls. I'm so upset I don't even want to drink ! Go figure.
All I was trying to do was the right thing and it gets slammed back in my faCe when all along I could have said nothing and been by myself and happy. He contributed nothing for their night , all paid for by me even though I asked for help. Today I get told I bring it on myself. And calling me a drunk is his first port of call to abuse.
My councillor today called him an adolescent. It peeves me to think his FB page will now be full of photos of him and girls looking all glam and it's such bs , and I helped create the allusion he gets to lie about.
Look I'm just ranting so I don't drink it away. I know the saddest part of all this is my girls not wanting to be like the other girls and rush up to their daddy and dance. It totally sux that they have to feel like that. It's against the grain. And who cares about his FB friends thinking he's dad of the year when he knows he's not. I know all of that. I just felt so effing used and abused once more. And no one took a photo of me with the kids. Just feel like the maid sometimes. Like I said rant rant , just need to get it out there I'm sure there are others who go thru this pathetic sad stuff too. Cheers
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
I'm sorry Seiceps - he sounds like a real prince.
There may be nothing you or your daughters can do with this guy...
but you manage to raise two beautiful girls and teach them well about stuff...who really cares what his FB page is like or what his mates think?
I'm really proud of you for not drinking too
D
There may be nothing you or your daughters can do with this guy...
but you manage to raise two beautiful girls and teach them well about stuff...who really cares what his FB page is like or what his mates think?
I'm really proud of you for not drinking too
D
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Nottingham (UK)
Posts: 2,690
I'm convinced that fb was secretly developed by lawyers as the amount of break-ups and hassle it causes is obscene.
Block the jerk - don't give him the satisfaction of 'getting to you' by looking at it. You're right, his behaviour is immature and abusive. They say that attack is the best form of defence and I personally think that this joker is feeling bad for his past behaviour and on the defensive. The reality is, he will never be truly happy while he has so much venom inside him. Happy people, want others to feel happy.
Well done for not drinking (much)
Block the jerk - don't give him the satisfaction of 'getting to you' by looking at it. You're right, his behaviour is immature and abusive. They say that attack is the best form of defence and I personally think that this joker is feeling bad for his past behaviour and on the defensive. The reality is, he will never be truly happy while he has so much venom inside him. Happy people, want others to feel happy.
Well done for not drinking (much)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
Sorry dee , when I say not drinking it away I meant getting blotto ,I've had a couple tonight but in no way drunk like I was all last week even at lunch ! Definitely going to this meeting Monday and will be working thru till then so no getting drunk. Just winding it down from this weeks total shocker. Hmm and prince I think not the good kind aye ! But I the good side it's been a long long year of heartache and moving and new job and being in hospital .... I want to make this the ending if all of this bad stuff. Bc it's not just the drinking is it ? It's a kaleidoscope of bad decisions and situations. Thanks for yr support as always , just wanted to be honest about drinking I'm doing tho. It's important for me to be totally honest on here.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
Actually Skye he's just a dick that I've allowed to abuse me for years. Bc at the end of every horrible scene I can get into the bottle. Maybe that's a major reason for not quitting realising what I'll see ... In me. Bc this is so not me , well it wasn't. And will be again . Cheers for yr support.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,442
Ok....look- drinking over this guy is an absolute waste of time Seiceps - the only person you're really hurting tonight is yourself.
I hope you tip the rest out - not blotto or not, it's not the way you deserve to be, ya know?
D
I hope you tip the rest out - not blotto or not, it's not the way you deserve to be, ya know?
D
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
Thanks dee. Ok I did it. It was bloody hard. !!! Just tipped out last of can (drinking those really classy bourbon and coke premixed ) still got some in fridge I wasn't intending to touch anyway. Kettle on , double herbal tea bag in the cup. Just terrified of not sleeping tonight. Last night was great managed to wake up on the hour every hour From midnight till eight. I've got an early start and a mammoth day tomorrow. Maybe I'll have a triple - sleep tea that is. Thanks. God it makes a difference not just having to rely on yr self.
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Hey seiceps, sorry you had such an awful experience. You can't change him or the fact that he's your beautiful daughters father. But what you can do is give them at least one parent who will show them how to live as a responsible adult who takes care if themselves and their children.
I have a husband who can say some not so nice stuff as well. I also have two beautiful daughters. What I know is that I've been teaching my girls how to be treated. This new for me too, but it's not ok anymore, and it shouldn't be for you! Get angry and don't allow his words to break you down. Build yourself up and start living a life that's healthy and happy for you and your girls!
I have a husband who can say some not so nice stuff as well. I also have two beautiful daughters. What I know is that I've been teaching my girls how to be treated. This new for me too, but it's not ok anymore, and it shouldn't be for you! Get angry and don't allow his words to break you down. Build yourself up and start living a life that's healthy and happy for you and your girls!
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by Seiceps 
Figure I may as we'll get my thoughts out on here bc I'm not going to do it anywhere else , so apologies if it's a bit random.
So my kids has their grad dance last night , man they looked so beautiful and so scary old ( they are nearly 13 twin girls ). I got my hairdresser friend over to do hair and makeup and I did something I thought was the right ( ?? ) thing and the best thing I invited their dad to come over and see them as I knew he would be in awe and thought I need to help a connection between them ( after him cheating earlier this yr with my friend , smoking loads of crack , he's now pretty much not speaking to any of us and not contacting the girls - ugh )
All was well he turned up in his best suit ready to dance the last waltz with them , took loads of photos etc.
anyway when the time comes for the last dance a lot of kids are running up to their mum and dads to ask for a dance , ours are no where to be seen , he starts tearing up so I offer to go and find them , I found one they had a dance. Alls well.
On the way we take to mc ds for dessert and then it starts : I'm " awkward" how I order , then I'm driving too fast over speed bumps making him spill his drink , when I say no I'm not ( I realise how petty this all sounds - but arnt they always ) he says , in a cold cold low voice I really hate you.
I in turn reply with don't speak to me like that or get out of my car , he with you ruin everything you drunken bi$ch ( btw I'm not drunk , nor close to it ) I cry , one of the girls looses it saying why do you have to do this on our night. Get home he leaves , I apologise to girls. I'm so upset I don't even want to drink ! Go figure.
All I was trying to do was the right thing and it gets slammed back in my faCe when all along I could have said nothing and been by myself and happy. He contributed nothing for their night , all paid for by me even though I asked for help. Today I get told I bring it on myself. And calling me a drunk is his first port of call to abuse.
My councillor today called him an adolescent. It peeves me to think his FB page will now be full of photos of him and girls looking all glam and it's such bs , and I helped create the allusion he gets to lie about.
Look I'm just ranting so I don't drink it away. I know the saddest part of all this is my girls not wanting to be like the other girls and rush up to their daddy and dance. It totally sux that they have to feel like that. It's against the grain. And who cares about his FB friends thinking he's dad of the year when he knows he's not. I know all of that. I just felt so effing used and abused once more. And no one took a photo of me with the kids. Just feel like the maid sometimes. Like I said rant rant , just need to get it out there I'm sure there are others who go thru this pathetic sad stuff too. Cheers
So my kids has their grad dance last night , man they looked so beautiful and so scary old ( they are nearly 13 twin girls ). I got my hairdresser friend over to do hair and makeup and I did something I thought was the right ( ?? ) thing and the best thing I invited their dad to come over and see them as I knew he would be in awe and thought I need to help a connection between them ( after him cheating earlier this yr with my friend , smoking loads of crack , he's now pretty much not speaking to any of us and not contacting the girls - ugh )
All was well he turned up in his best suit ready to dance the last waltz with them , took loads of photos etc.
anyway when the time comes for the last dance a lot of kids are running up to their mum and dads to ask for a dance , ours are no where to be seen , he starts tearing up so I offer to go and find them , I found one they had a dance. Alls well.
On the way we take to mc ds for dessert and then it starts : I'm " awkward" how I order , then I'm driving too fast over speed bumps making him spill his drink , when I say no I'm not ( I realise how petty this all sounds - but arnt they always ) he says , in a cold cold low voice I really hate you.
I in turn reply with don't speak to me like that or get out of my car , he with you ruin everything you drunken bi$ch ( btw I'm not drunk , nor close to it ) I cry , one of the girls looses it saying why do you have to do this on our night. Get home he leaves , I apologise to girls. I'm so upset I don't even want to drink ! Go figure.
All I was trying to do was the right thing and it gets slammed back in my faCe when all along I could have said nothing and been by myself and happy. He contributed nothing for their night , all paid for by me even though I asked for help. Today I get told I bring it on myself. And calling me a drunk is his first port of call to abuse.
My councillor today called him an adolescent. It peeves me to think his FB page will now be full of photos of him and girls looking all glam and it's such bs , and I helped create the allusion he gets to lie about.
Look I'm just ranting so I don't drink it away. I know the saddest part of all this is my girls not wanting to be like the other girls and rush up to their daddy and dance. It totally sux that they have to feel like that. It's against the grain. And who cares about his FB friends thinking he's dad of the year when he knows he's not. I know all of that. I just felt so effing used and abused once more. And no one took a photo of me with the kids. Just feel like the maid sometimes. Like I said rant rant , just need to get it out there I'm sure there are others who go thru this pathetic sad stuff too. Cheers
xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: UK
Posts: 303
Hey Seiceps, just wanted to give you a little moral support. Well done for inviting him to take part (the non-Prince) in the girl's night. Hope they are feeling ok about it all?
And massive kudos to you for tipping the rest away. Don't let his sh!tty behaviour make you turn it on yourself. xx
And massive kudos to you for tipping the rest away. Don't let his sh!tty behaviour make you turn it on yourself. xx
Member
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Midwest
Posts: 8,335
I raised two daughters with an abusive father. Big mistake, I should have divorced him sooner……girls both have many emotional scars. Just my opinion, but better to make positive memories with the three of you, than chase a dream of the perfect father - daughter scene …that ends up being ruined by his behavior.
Good for you on dumping the drink…..taking care of yourself will teach your daughters so much more than words can ever do.
Good for you on dumping the drink…..taking care of yourself will teach your daughters so much more than words can ever do.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hey Love...so sorry to read this and know that you're still dealing with this...ass. I know how much you love those girls and what a good mum you are trying to be to them.
Dee's right, though. Drinking "at" him will solve nothing and he doesn't deserve any further space in your head. Or time in your heart. I know how bad this hurts but, clearly, this man is not going to change and, from the last time we corresponded, he seems to be getting worse. Much worse.
Step away from that wreckage and into the light. You deserve happiness and love as much as anyone else does.
Thinking of you, Lovely.
xoxoxo
Dee's right, though. Drinking "at" him will solve nothing and he doesn't deserve any further space in your head. Or time in your heart. I know how bad this hurts but, clearly, this man is not going to change and, from the last time we corresponded, he seems to be getting worse. Much worse.
Step away from that wreckage and into the light. You deserve happiness and love as much as anyone else does.
Thinking of you, Lovely.
xoxoxo
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