Starting day 4
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 77
Starting day 4
This is my first real post. I've been reading on here all week and it has helped me know I'll have a place to go for support. I've hit rock bottom so many times I can't count. But over the weekend I did something really stupid in my drunken state that I may have lost the best friend I've ever had. That being said, that was my rock bottom. I have not had a drink since Sunday night, Nov 24. Now I'm just focusing on the one day at a time. I have to get my life straight before I can fix relationships and I know that. I'm still having the night sweats, but last night seemed a little easier. I know this is going to be a hard journey, but I'm tired of that other lifestyle. I mad at myself because why couldn't I be the girl that could have 2-3 drinks and say that's enough. I just couldn't seem to stop once it started. So now I'm at the point where I know I can't have ANY or my life is in danger. Sorry for the ramble on. I just needed to get some of this out.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Toronto
Posts: 3,195
I have been in your position many times. I've gotten in fist fights with friends, insulted family, and been removed from a gf's place by police during my drunken episodes. But that person wasn't me. I would never have done those things sober and everyone I harmed knows that and has forgiven me. Providing I stay sober.
You are so much more than the bad things you do when drunk.
You are so much more than the bad things you do when drunk.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello, and welcome.
I could have written your post.
I lost friends to drinking, too. But once I got sober, they were proud of me and the relationships were rebuilt. They knew I was a drunk when I didn't even realize it.
I, too, hit rock bottom so may times I couldn't count them.
It took a real willingness to stop drinking in order to quit.
If you put the enrgy into staying sober that you did into drinking, you almost can't go wrong. I could never have one or two drinks, either. I drank until I was drunk. Always.
There is hope and I'm glad you're here. You'll find lots of support here.
Best to you.
I could have written your post.
I lost friends to drinking, too. But once I got sober, they were proud of me and the relationships were rebuilt. They knew I was a drunk when I didn't even realize it.
I, too, hit rock bottom so may times I couldn't count them.
It took a real willingness to stop drinking in order to quit.
If you put the enrgy into staying sober that you did into drinking, you almost can't go wrong. I could never have one or two drinks, either. I drank until I was drunk. Always.
There is hope and I'm glad you're here. You'll find lots of support here.
Best to you.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Posts: 133
Day 4 here too. Again. The thing is I had 2-3 drinks many times with no problem. Then I unexpectedly had 10 and WOW! Then I spent forever cleaning up what ever crisis I manufactured during that time. Honestly, I never really enjoyed the 2-3 drinks. Its the 6th or 7th that I enjoyed, but once there, I never stopped. Its been many years since I officially tried to moderate, I recently began getting drunker with less and going to sleep after 2-3 (I know that is a bad sign of being a pickle) and then there are still the times when, for whatever reason, I manage to cross that 6/7 line and beyond into total life-wrecking chaos. There should be career positions in putting life back together after wreckage....I have plenty of practice. Congrats on day 4 and hang in.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 53
Hi Girlsearching,
You have certainly come to the right place. I discovered this site when researching articles and stories relating to sobriety and initial recovery. I also hit rock bottom and ended up in ICU only millimetres from the end. Big wakeup call for me! It's now been just over6 months and I am dong really well. It's amazing how many people say the same thing when it comes to how moderate the drinking was in the beginning to how it ended up. I found the answer to mine, it's called addiction. I unfortunate yam just one of those that does everything to the extreme. In the beginning (and you may relate to this) it started out just as one or two, I loved that feeling it gave me and looked forward to the next weekend. Slowly the weekend increased to bring Friday and Monday into it. Then that feeling didn't come any more after just one or two, now I needed 4 or 5. Then I started making up various excuses on the other evenings to celebrate anything, like Wed is Hump day and Tuesday was just a big day at work and so on. Then it was everyday and earlier. Of course the whole time I knew it was a problem but denied it. When I look back now I can remember the feeble attempts at slowing down. All the time questioning why I can't just be normal and have that social glass instead of the whole bottle. In the end I realised that there is only one way abstinence.
Keep posting as there are so many great people that offer tremendous support
You have certainly come to the right place. I discovered this site when researching articles and stories relating to sobriety and initial recovery. I also hit rock bottom and ended up in ICU only millimetres from the end. Big wakeup call for me! It's now been just over6 months and I am dong really well. It's amazing how many people say the same thing when it comes to how moderate the drinking was in the beginning to how it ended up. I found the answer to mine, it's called addiction. I unfortunate yam just one of those that does everything to the extreme. In the beginning (and you may relate to this) it started out just as one or two, I loved that feeling it gave me and looked forward to the next weekend. Slowly the weekend increased to bring Friday and Monday into it. Then that feeling didn't come any more after just one or two, now I needed 4 or 5. Then I started making up various excuses on the other evenings to celebrate anything, like Wed is Hump day and Tuesday was just a big day at work and so on. Then it was everyday and earlier. Of course the whole time I knew it was a problem but denied it. When I look back now I can remember the feeble attempts at slowing down. All the time questioning why I can't just be normal and have that social glass instead of the whole bottle. In the end I realised that there is only one way abstinence.
Keep posting as there are so many great people that offer tremendous support
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by Reboswon 
Hi Girlsearching,
You have certainly come to the right place. I discovered this site when researching articles and stories relating to sobriety and initial recovery. I also hit rock bottom and ended up in ICU only millimetres from the end. Big wakeup call for me! It's now been just over6 months and I am dong really well. It's amazing how many people say the same thing when it comes to how moderate the drinking was in the beginning to how it ended up. I found the answer to mine, it's called addiction. I unfortunate yam just one of those that does everything to the extreme. In the beginning (and you may relate to this) it started out just as one or two, I loved that feeling it gave me and looked forward to the next weekend. Slowly the weekend increased to bring Friday and Monday into it. Then that feeling didn't come any more after just one or two, now I needed 4 or 5. Then I started making up various excuses on the other evenings to celebrate anything, like Wed is Hump day and Tuesday was just a big day at work and so on. Then it was everyday and earlier. Of course the whole time I knew it was a problem but denied it. When I look back now I can remember the feeble attempts at slowing down. All the time questioning why I can't just be normal and have that social glass instead of the whole bottle. In the end I realised that there is only one way abstinence.
Keep posting as there are so many great people that offer tremendous support
You have certainly come to the right place. I discovered this site when researching articles and stories relating to sobriety and initial recovery. I also hit rock bottom and ended up in ICU only millimetres from the end. Big wakeup call for me! It's now been just over6 months and I am dong really well. It's amazing how many people say the same thing when it comes to how moderate the drinking was in the beginning to how it ended up. I found the answer to mine, it's called addiction. I unfortunate yam just one of those that does everything to the extreme. In the beginning (and you may relate to this) it started out just as one or two, I loved that feeling it gave me and looked forward to the next weekend. Slowly the weekend increased to bring Friday and Monday into it. Then that feeling didn't come any more after just one or two, now I needed 4 or 5. Then I started making up various excuses on the other evenings to celebrate anything, like Wed is Hump day and Tuesday was just a big day at work and so on. Then it was everyday and earlier. Of course the whole time I knew it was a problem but denied it. When I look back now I can remember the feeble attempts at slowing down. All the time questioning why I can't just be normal and have that social glass instead of the whole bottle. In the end I realised that there is only one way abstinence.
Keep posting as there are so many great people that offer tremendous support
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Welcome and congrats on making it to day 4!
Have you thought about a plan to help you stay sober? Maybe AA, a secular recovery program or counseling? Sometimes we need a little extra help and support, especially in the beginning.
Have you thought about a plan to help you stay sober? Maybe AA, a secular recovery program or counseling? Sometimes we need a little extra help and support, especially in the beginning.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 77
Originally Posted by digdug
Welcome and congrats on making it to day 4!
Have you thought about a plan to help you stay sober? Maybe AA, a secular recovery program or counseling? Sometimes we need a little extra help and support, especially in the beginning.
Have you thought about a plan to help you stay sober? Maybe AA, a secular recovery program or counseling? Sometimes we need a little extra help and support, especially in the beginning.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Georgia
Posts: 3,062
I'm glad that you are here and congratulations on your sobriety! I was in your position a year ago....tell yourself that you will not drink...no matter what. Come here for the support...there is tons of it!
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: against the grain
Posts: 746
Good job on day 4! While all of these early days present challenges, hang in there. I'm only on day 8, but I have felt signigicant changes even in that short time. I think the most important thing I'm learning is that this takes work, sometimes hourly work-and the work is WELL worth it, so much better than the way we used to live. Keep posting, you'll find lots of support and helpful insight here.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Brisbane QLD
Posts: 53
You don't have to tell them your story. I have been in recovery just over 6 months and none of my friends know that I have a drinking problem. ( said have and not had only to remind myself and never let my guard down ) I have been out many time with friends that drink and they always say aren't you having a drink? I tell them that I am having a good break from it as I was unhappy with the amount I was drinking and also I was unhappy withy behaviour. The. They say oh good for you! I should do that sometime too.
Once you go to your councillor they will discuss these strategies as well as the triggers that you need to be aware of. Some vents you will avoid entirely and some you
may decide to go to for a little while then leave when you notice the changes in behaviour from others . Maybe, if you have a very close friend you can be open with they might offer great support.
Slowly, slowly baby steps and you will feel so much more confident and see the benefits
Once you go to your councillor they will discuss these strategies as well as the triggers that you need to be aware of. Some vents you will avoid entirely and some you
may decide to go to for a little while then leave when you notice the changes in behaviour from others . Maybe, if you have a very close friend you can be open with they might offer great support.
Slowly, slowly baby steps and you will feel so much more confident and see the benefits
Member
Join Date: May 2013
Location: Probably my living room. Maybe my bedroom if I'm feeling lazy
Posts: 1,085
Originally Posted by girlsearching
I know I'm going seek one on one counseling soon (next week hopefully). I have thought about AA but it honestly terrifies me. But I would go before I let myself drink again. I just know I have to do this, this time. I'm just so scared of all the changes that go with it. Do I just come out and tell co-workers I cannot join them for Happy Hour because I'm an alcoholic? Just not sure how to decline my social life with out putting it all out there. Any advice?
Glad you're looking into counseling.
I think AA scares just about everyone before they take that step in the door. But just remember that everyone in that room had to walk through the door for the first time. Everyone in the room will know exactly how you're feeling and will be more than happy to support you. AA has saved my life. I know it doesn't work for everyone, but it definitely has worked for me and millions of others.
As far as your co-workers, you don't need to tell them anything you don't feel comfortable with. Your recovery isn't really their business. I just tell people I'm not drinking tonight. I've never had anyone challenge that.
But it's definitely suggested to stay away from situations where you may be tempted to drink. I had to make a change and reevaluate the people I surrounded myself with. Hanging out with drinking buddies at the bar is no longer an option for me. But your social life doesn't have to decline just because you quit drinking. There are tons of sober people out there who are having a great time together. I actually have a better social life now than I ever did when I was drinking.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Tennessee
Posts: 77
Thank you all for all the support. It means so much right now. I know I will get through today and that is how I'm taking this. One day at a time...sometimes one hour or minute at a time. But I am determined to beat this. Thank you all and God Bless your kindness.
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
Originally Posted by girlsearching
I Do I just come out and tell co-workers I cannot join them for Happy Hour because I'm an alcoholic? Just not sure how to decline my social life with out putting it all out there. Any advice?
People in general are far less concerned about it than i was, these days i don't drink or i don't fancy one is fine for 99% of the people i meet and they don't bat an eyelid .
I think because i'm an alcoholic my obsession with alcohol warped my perception of how others perceive alcohol and drinking …
Bestwishes, m
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
