I'm going to bite the bullet
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
I'm going to bite the bullet
Hi everyone , it's been a long time since I posted. Nothing has changed, I go through fits and starts of making changes which don't stick. I can see the signs if my behaviour worsening. Big chunks out of rims of wheels on the car I have no memory of doing. Nada. And today having to go and get some vodkas to stop myself from feeling so sick as I have to be on form tonight to get my girls ready for their graduation dance. Literally maintenance drinking. Pretty grim really. So I'm finally going to take the advice given to me on here by many kind people and go to my first meeting on Monday night. Scared ******** but more scared of what I'm doing and showing the kids. Their dad isn't having anything to do with us so it's just me. Got to get this under control for all our sakes. Thought I'd make myself and my meeting plan accountable on here , rather than just in my head. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks for being there.
Glad you're back giving it another go. 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Indiana
Posts: 1,472
Glad to hear you are taking the first step! Just keep thinking how great it will be when you don't have to deal with feeling sick and maintenance drinking anymore. You will be in control of how you feel and won't need anything else to feel great. You can do this!
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,426
Welcome back Seiceps - that sounds like a good step forward...I wish it was tonight you were going, but I'm sure you have your reasons.
I really hope you follow through with this - you deserve a different ending
D
I really hope you follow through with this - you deserve a different ending
D
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: Central America/Florida USA
Posts: 4,064
I hope you read your original post again over the weekend. And again on Monday morning. Because when the time comes, you're not going to want to follow through with it.
But you have to. I have been there. It's terrifying. And a lot easier to talk about when it's 5 days away. Kind of like planning a big speech. Then all of a sudden, the day of the speech, you find a way to back out. I was nervous as heck my first time, too. But by golly, if you do it you will feel so good about yourself. It's worth it!
Hope you follow through and do this for yourself.
But you have to. I have been there. It's terrifying. And a lot easier to talk about when it's 5 days away. Kind of like planning a big speech. Then all of a sudden, the day of the speech, you find a way to back out. I was nervous as heck my first time, too. But by golly, if you do it you will feel so good about yourself. It's worth it!
Hope you follow through and do this for yourself.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Location: NZ
Posts: 238
Thanks to new friends and old. Guess I'm finally admitting I can't do it on my own anymore bc it doesn't work. I wish it was tonight to dee easier to go while the feeling is fresh, unfortunately not possible. I did however stop the vodka and got myself some food and just going to concentrate on my girls and their big night. Hoping their dad shows up to see them all dresses up but have a friend coming over to do hair and makeup so will cope if he doesn't show. I feel better already posting on here , less alone and less hating myself , cheers all xx
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Posts: 6,224
Seiceps I'm glad to see your name again, when I first joined the Kiwi and Aussie names were a reinforcement for me (I'm an Aussie). Have you got a plan for tonight after the girls go to their celebrations? I should imagine you'll be feeling a bit nostalgic so stick close to SR.
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