Remove the words "try to" and insert "do"
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Remove the words "try to" and insert "do"
In reading posts this thought crossed my mind.
It's amazing how we play games with ourselves even subconsciously when we're quitting. There are posts from people who are asked if they have a plan or who are committing to quit. Many of the sentences contain the words "I'm going to try to". Whether we realize it or not those words are tentative and the subconscious mind is already saying "I'm going to try to unless the craving is so strong that I need to drink". It's a game that we all play. This is not to say that someone's not referring to not being near a computer to log in or something along that line, but for the most part, it's still tentative.
When you formulate a plan, eliminate the words "try to" and replace them with a directive statement.
Take a look at the below sentence:
If I get a craving I'm going to try to log into SR and post to get support.
Now:
If I get a craving I'm going to log into SR and post to get support.
The first statement is questionable, it denotes that there are options (and we all know what those are) and the second is directive.
You have to remove your options. Trying to quit and quitting are two different things. Feed your mind with absolutes and you'll get to the latter faster. Try removing the choice from yourself, that's what worked for me. I can't drink, I don't drink, and I don't have a choice. The day I did that it was a relief and it's what finally worked.
Even one of the worst days that I've had where I posted on here from the lobby of a beer and wings establishment I was still pretty secure that I wouldn't drink but of course, who can be 100% sure? It was a tough day and probably the closest I came to giving up. Just knowing that I had posted and that I had everyone in my pocket rooting for me solidified my commitment.
I hope this helps someone.
It's amazing how we play games with ourselves even subconsciously when we're quitting. There are posts from people who are asked if they have a plan or who are committing to quit. Many of the sentences contain the words "I'm going to try to". Whether we realize it or not those words are tentative and the subconscious mind is already saying "I'm going to try to unless the craving is so strong that I need to drink". It's a game that we all play. This is not to say that someone's not referring to not being near a computer to log in or something along that line, but for the most part, it's still tentative.
When you formulate a plan, eliminate the words "try to" and replace them with a directive statement.
Take a look at the below sentence:
If I get a craving I'm going to try to log into SR and post to get support.
Now:
If I get a craving I'm going to log into SR and post to get support.
The first statement is questionable, it denotes that there are options (and we all know what those are) and the second is directive.
You have to remove your options. Trying to quit and quitting are two different things. Feed your mind with absolutes and you'll get to the latter faster. Try removing the choice from yourself, that's what worked for me. I can't drink, I don't drink, and I don't have a choice. The day I did that it was a relief and it's what finally worked.
Even one of the worst days that I've had where I posted on here from the lobby of a beer and wings establishment I was still pretty secure that I wouldn't drink but of course, who can be 100% sure? It was a tough day and probably the closest I came to giving up. Just knowing that I had posted and that I had everyone in my pocket rooting for me solidified my commitment.
I hope this helps someone.
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Originally Posted by ImperfectlyMe 
Ladyblue you are quickly become one of my favorite posters!!!! I draw so much support, strength, and wisdom from you. Thanks for all you do, ladyblue
No harm in sharing, if it helps just one person to succeed or lightens the load it's useful.
We all learn from each other and I also enjoy your posts!
Hears The Voice
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Oh, I'm so glad you took that in the spirit it was intended. I posted that pic and then went to my therapist, and on the way it occurred to me it might be perceived differently than I meant. I've received scoldings here in the past, so I am trying to make sure I am expressing myself clearly.
tyou
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No, but maybe I should have? To me that was clearly stating "Enjoy that ride until it becomes unenjoyable". I hadn't considered an alternate meaning.
When I posted the pic above I was thinking "jedi master" but then I got to thinking it could be mistaken for mockery of some sort. Glad it wasn't.
When I posted the pic above I was thinking "jedi master" but then I got to thinking it could be mistaken for mockery of some sort. Glad it wasn't.
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Originally Posted by Nonsensical
Oh, I'm so glad you took that in the spirit it was intended. I posted that pic and then went to my therapist, and on the way it occurred to me it might be perceived differently than I meant. I've received scoldings here in the past, so I am trying to make sure I am expressing myself clearly.
However, I then realize that I am in hopes that there's no one here that would purposely use humor as an insult so for the most part it should be taken in the spirit in which it was intended.
Besides, if you were implying that I was speaking with the knowledge of Yoda or trying to be that would still give me good belly laugh!
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 443
Other wise Yoda quotes with relevance to the topic at hand:
"You must unlearn what you have learned"
"You will find only what you bring in"
"So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?
"You must unlearn what you have learned"
"You will find only what you bring in"
"So certain are you. Always with you it cannot be done. Hear you nothing that I say?
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Location: FLAAADAH
Posts: 793
I liked the dialog between Luke and Yoda just after Yoda "levitate's" Lukes spacecraft out of the swamp.
Luke in astonishment say's "I dont Believe it" !
Yoda reply's "That is why you fail".
Doubting yourself and your capabilities can have disasterous consequenses.
I know it has in my life!
Luke in astonishment say's "I dont Believe it" !
Yoda reply's "That is why you fail".
Doubting yourself and your capabilities can have disasterous consequenses.
I know it has in my life!
That bell or bike person
Join Date: Jun 2012
Location: london
Posts: 4,978
I used to know a lot of smokers who were always "giving up" they'd never "gave up" .
I found smoking hard to give up , and used to march round grinding my teeth thinking i do not smoke , no thanks i gave up .
In a way the dire effects of the alcohol i was consuming made me feel better, sooner after giving up . Smokings effects were more supple and the harm of a longer term nature .
"No thanks i don't smoke" and "no thanks i don't drink" are two statements that seem so small and casual, for this guy at least, are quite huge .
Bestwishes, m
I found smoking hard to give up , and used to march round grinding my teeth thinking i do not smoke , no thanks i gave up .
In a way the dire effects of the alcohol i was consuming made me feel better, sooner after giving up . Smokings effects were more supple and the harm of a longer term nature .
"No thanks i don't smoke" and "no thanks i don't drink" are two statements that seem so small and casual, for this guy at least, are quite huge .
Bestwishes, m
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Southern California
Posts: 318
Well, it's all about empowerment. If you "try to" then you are leaving room for other forces to make a decision for you- if you reword that statement to "I will" and take out the try, you are empowering yourself and giving yourself the control.
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