Dont know what to do
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 1
Dont know what to do
Husband and I have been together forever, we have small children. I have always been a stay at home mom, he works hard and pays all the bills. We have everything we need and more. He is a good father, never even has raised his voice to me and we live a great life.
In 7years I have caught him snorting pills 5 times. Every time it's the same, he's sorry, stressed, back hurts, never will do it again, etc. I am just broken, stuck and broken. 2 of our kids have pretty significant medical issues which prevent me from working. I can't leave them and would have to be off for Dr and therapy appts weekly. It is impossible for me to work. So, I am stuck.
I adore him, the kids adore him, everyone adores him. I can not go on living like this. I don't trust him. I hate the sneaky person I feel I have become. I analyse everything he says and does looking for clues of him using. I lost my phone this evening and picked up his to call mine and right there on the screen was a text from someone selling him pills. He is peacefully sleeping and I am in shambles wanting to kill him.
What do I do?
In 7years I have caught him snorting pills 5 times. Every time it's the same, he's sorry, stressed, back hurts, never will do it again, etc. I am just broken, stuck and broken. 2 of our kids have pretty significant medical issues which prevent me from working. I can't leave them and would have to be off for Dr and therapy appts weekly. It is impossible for me to work. So, I am stuck.
I adore him, the kids adore him, everyone adores him. I can not go on living like this. I don't trust him. I hate the sneaky person I feel I have become. I analyse everything he says and does looking for clues of him using. I lost my phone this evening and picked up his to call mine and right there on the screen was a text from someone selling him pills. He is peacefully sleeping and I am in shambles wanting to kill him.
What do I do?
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR. It's sad watching someone we love self-destruct but reaching out for help for yourself is a good move.
Take a good read around, especially the sticky posts at the top of the forum and you'll find a lot of helpful information.
I'm sorry for your pain, but glad you found us.
Hugs
Take a good read around, especially the sticky posts at the top of the forum and you'll find a lot of helpful information.
I'm sorry for your pain, but glad you found us.
Hugs
Member
Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
Hello and Welcome.
Have you reached out to the community to see what help you could get with your children? Here there is a local County Disability Board who puts you in contact with that help and finds out what you would qualify for and what you would not. Do not assume you are stuck. You may need time and you may need to do alot of research, but do not assume you are stuck without doing alot of research first. Also...just because you are not together does not mean he does not have to support the kids. I assure you that you would recieve child support and that he would have to continue to pay your children's medical bills, etc. if that is what he does now. I encourage you to seek legal council if you are interested, you will feel much more in control of your own situation, or I did. And my first consult was free.
Even if you do stay, I hope you go to Celebrate Recovery or therapy or both or something to get some support for you. I know that codependent behavior, I feel like I could be a pro detective. If you learn some detatchment skills it will really help you cope.
Good Luck and God Bless to you and your family. Keep posting, you are not alone!
Have you reached out to the community to see what help you could get with your children? Here there is a local County Disability Board who puts you in contact with that help and finds out what you would qualify for and what you would not. Do not assume you are stuck. You may need time and you may need to do alot of research, but do not assume you are stuck without doing alot of research first. Also...just because you are not together does not mean he does not have to support the kids. I assure you that you would recieve child support and that he would have to continue to pay your children's medical bills, etc. if that is what he does now. I encourage you to seek legal council if you are interested, you will feel much more in control of your own situation, or I did. And my first consult was free.
Even if you do stay, I hope you go to Celebrate Recovery or therapy or both or something to get some support for you. I know that codependent behavior, I feel like I could be a pro detective. If you learn some detatchment skills it will really help you cope.
Good Luck and God Bless to you and your family. Keep posting, you are not alone!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: sw, pa
Posts: 81
I feel for you. I have "plotted" my AH's demise numerous times. I think it is a mix of anger and control that pushes me there. Basically, if I can take him out, the drugs can't have him and I will at least know what the future holds. Pretty sick, I know! Take care of yourself and set some deal breakers. Hugs
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