Precious1

I am 2 years 3 months and 26 days sober. I quit on my own and have not looked back. I read Eckart Tolle's "A New Earth" 5 years ago and it started the process of examining my inner dialogue. I was thinking, ruminating and drinking to control my anxiety. It all came to a head two and a half years ago when I drank too much at a party and I knew I had to quit. Weaning off didn't work. I talked to my doctor and she said "You have a switch that gets flipped with the first drink". I decided in that moment that it was a choice I was making to never flip the switch again. I came home and told my drinking buddy husband that my drinking days were over and he had to support me and not abuse alcohol or drink in front of me. He supported me. He now only drinks socially, one drink maybe once a month for special occasions. I did not go to AA, didn't do the 12 steps or get a sponsor. I did do many of the steps though not in order and not by the book. I Just knew these things needed to happen and I did them on my own without direction. I saw a Shaman who I had several spiritual healings with that changed me forever. I believe the most important part of my getting sober was accepting that alcohol has no place in my life. I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, fed up with self loathing, ruminating, blaming, being angry and I wanted to change it for good. I don't crave it. I don't think about it often.

I just attended my first AA meeting with a family member to support her and am hesitant about the dogma that AA is the only way to sobriety. I live in the present moment, focus on what is now, not yesterday, not tomorrow and I listen to that quiet voice in my heart, not the chatter in my head. When obsessive thoughts come to me, I choose to change them to gratitude and positive things in my life. I am happier, calmer and living the best life I could imagine and I know I could not do this if I wasn't sober. I went through a family death 4 months into sobriety and felt so connected with grief, that I welcomed it. I could process the loss and what it meant to me because I was sober. I see alcohol on the same level as heroin. Whey would I stick a needle in my arm and ruin my life? Why would I smoke a joint or begin drinking? Why would I invite the negative consequences of losing my sobriety? Most people crave it for a while but I believe if you truly are fed up and see alcohol as the enemy, you won't want it in your life once the withdrawal is over. Surround yourself with people who support your sobriety and accept that you must live a life of abstinence in order to succeed. Then start your journey of discovering who you really are... It is such an amazing process. I read self help books and though none are my Bible or absolute beliefs, I have rec'd so much healing from all of them. I love Gary Zukov's perspective of addiction. He is much more about choices and accountability. Which is what works for me. Knowing the only thing standing between me and the bottle is me. And I'm done with it.

Dee74

Welcome aboard Precious

Congrats on your sober time and thanks for sharing your thoughts

I'm not in AA either but I respect it - it's saved many of my friends lives.

The vast majority of AAers I know do not insist it's the only way to recovery either - I'm pretty sure it even says that in the Big Book

Surely this is about your family member tho?
We're all different, and she has to choose her own path - it's her right to do so I think.

Whether it proves to be AA or not is her decision

D

Suekie

Thank you for this post. It is exactly what I needed right now. I'm very new (day 5) to complete sobriety and I've been struggling over whether to do AA or not (feels wrong for ME). This cemented my decision to do this on my own, with my supporters, with this community and with my inner dialogue. I am going to buy that book, it sounds like it is right up my alley. Thank you!!

Precious1

My family member needs AA. She has always gone to church, been in involved in group therapy and needs that kind of support. I lost most of my friends when I quit drinking because they are all heavy drinkers and I didn't fit in any more. I find yogi types to be the kind of positive grounded people I want to spend time with. Meditation and being in nature is another way to settle my mind. There are so many ways to help with the addiction process. I know AA works for many and if you fail on your own, I would definitely give it a try.

least

to SR! I'm glad you joined the family. Congrats on your sober time.

Hevyn

I'm very happy to meet you Precious. Congratulations on your sober time - that's a great achievement. Glad to have you with us.

Anna

Precious1, Gary Zukav is the person who changed my life, no question. I learned how to compassionately listen to my soul. And, of course, Eckhart Tolle is amazing. I loved your post and the positive attitude you have. Like you, when I was quiet, I knew intuitively what I had to do to recover.

FourSeasons

Great post Precious! Thank you and Welcome!!

Precious1

I've been reading so many authors on spiritual awakening. I was asleep most of my life, distracted so I didn't have to be present and deal with my paralyzing fears. I'm on a great journey and everyday find something new that I needed to know. I can't describe what all I have gone through but I am sure no two people go down the same path and we all have to find our way. There is much wisdom out there. We have an inner voice, a sense of being and knowing. We have to quiet our mind that we can hear that voice. Call it God or the Universe or whatever. We all have the spirit inside of us that gets drowned out by our mindless thinking chatter. Meditation takes practice and hard work. I know that my ego is not me. It is simply the part of the human ego that distorts and distracts us from being our true selves. It has taken me years to get this far. I'm sure in another 5 years and I will be more evolved.

digdug

Welcome! So glad you found a recovery plan that works for you.