Mikie9

I didn't sleep very well last night, but did get some sleep. After my initial waking up this morning I have had more energy than I have had since I was a kid. My dad and I share a common trait and that is being high energy. Well that, and he quit drinking when he was 41 too. I only had 2 cups of coffee, which is weird too.

I did some reading about this pink cloud thing. Should I be overly concerned I am just gonna crash into depression? I am feeling super positive right now, batting down negative thoughts like I once did before I started drinking all the time. Not delusional I don't think, just combatting those thoughts with thoughts on why they are useless, or what I can do to figure out the problem. But I guess if I were delusional I wouldn't really know would I?

One thing I do know, this is the same way I felt last time I went back to drinking, because I felt I had beaten the addiction, or habit part and went to a local outdoor group's social with a friend. A lot of the people were drinking, so I thought I could handle it, haven beaten the addiction(yeah). Well that quickly turned into 8-12 beers a night and several years before I seriously tried to quit again.

I am on guard this time for those "I beat this, now I can drink socially" thoughts. If I want to ever be happy in my life, I can never drink alcohol again.

Anna

Yes, do be on guard because the Pink Cloud can be deceptive.

I never had a pink cloud. I just sort of moved forward and in some ways that was a good way to do it, but I'm glad you're feeling good.

malcolmsloan

Hey Mikie9, I'm glad you're doing well. I'm right there with the sleep issue. I just finished day 4, and sleep is tough, but somehow the hours I'm getting feel more restful, even though they are few. I also relate to the, "I can drink socally" thoughs. About six years ago, I had been sober for a year and a half and at a party I thought, "I've gon a year and a half, I'm strong." Nope. That one beer kicked off 6+ years of struggle. Stay strong, bud!

soberhawk

I experienced a lot of ups and downs in the first months, it was nothing terrible though.

Just do not do anything you regret in the ups, do not buy a new car or join a para-shooting class

It will get better you now.

You will not regret this.

Mikie9

Thanks for the replies. I am just gonna go with it and keep busy. If I start to go back down in mood I will deal with it the same way I have over the last week. Reading seems to help me with that the most.

For now, this energy is gonna get some good use. I still have a bunch of house cleaning(scrubbing) I want to do, and the gym is on my schedule today so I better get it done in case I do start losing the energy and positive thinking. Might even take mom and is out for dinner tonight, since I am not just sitting here counting down the hours until I can start drinking.

And no parachuting for me.... me? jump out of a perfectly good airplane?? not even drunk.

azureseas

hey Mikie9, totally relate, this is my 2nd go as thought I had this thing handled after 15 months of not drinking. I too am feeling v pink cloudish.
I am enjoying feeling this way, we know what we need to do even when this feeling leaves us

least

Early recovery is a lot of ups and downs. Be prepared for when the pink cloud dissipates.

veryready

The pink cloud is legit. Enjoy the good feelings and the good days. You will eventually have bad days, that's life.

I had also stopped (for about 7 years) then started again. Took me 7 years to get stopped again. For sure it gets harder and harder. Might as well make this your last time.

Mikie9

Thanks I plan on making the best if it. Work tomorrow will be a stressor so I am sending myself positive emails to read to try and keep the good feelings going.

Lifeisforliving

Thanks for posting as I've been wondering the same thing myself. Am convinced the pink cloud phase is part of what convinced me I was "cured" and could go back to "normal" drinking. I was not and cannot.

Am feeling really great this time around with little to no residual affects of my last slip. Am cautiously optimistic and on guard for my AV under her pink cloud thanks to this post & some follow-up readings.

Mikie9

That's great to hear! I was assuming I knew what it meant just wanted to make sure. I think a lot of us atleast once after quitting for a while and regaining some well being slipped out if the foolish notion we could drink like normal people.

But if that was the case, we wouldn't have a problem. One of the emails I sent to my work email was no matter how bad the day is going or how I feel, drinking when I get off work will do nothing but out me back where I have struggled this week to climb out of. And once I get back to that place by drinking one night I will want NOTHING but to get back where I am right now.

Mikie9

Sorry for the weird words, typing on my phone.

veryready

I think that idea of sending yourself encouraging e-mails is brilliant.

stevie88

The first time I quit last June I had the pink cloud for weeks...Everything seemed easy but then I stupidly relapsed twice and this time round (quit last december) I had no pink cloud whatsoever...Enjoy it but just be wary....

Mikie9

thanks veryready. I want to make sure i read in my own words how I have felt today, and to remind myself of the conclusions I have been coming to in regard to some of the worst things about where I work, mainly personal relationships. It is easy to think what is best for you when a person isn't physically around. It is a very unhealthy friendship, but it isn't anything she has done. It has been me "needing" her to help make me feel better in my hung over states. I know without a doubt if it wasn't for my drinking I would not be as close to her as I thought I was. There is a lot to that chapter of my life, and that chapter has been closed. Me pulling at the pages trying to go back to what I thought was something good doesn't change anything. Now that my head is starting to clear a little more each day, I realize a lot of things about myself.

I don't need her attention to feel better, I just need me to like myself and to feel healthy. She doesn't have to be there for those two things.

Sorry went off on a tangent lol

HeadLump

Great cautionary tales here. We can all learn from these. Thank you everyone for posting

LadyBlue0527

It comes and goes Mikie, don't spend time being anxious about it, just be mindful of it. Some have it some don't. I'm floating around in a big fluffy one right now so I can spot you over there!

I wouldn't say that when you come down it's that quick of a drop just that you recognize that you're not quite as ecstatic about things as you were while there.

Sobriety has many highs and lows. So does drinking though. I'd rather handle them sober.

Mikie9

Waving back to you!!!!!

I know this feeling won't last forever and I will have less energetic days to deal with, up and down like everyone else. I was just concerned that it would be a sudden drop.

btw love the Ann Landers quote!

tomsteve

enjoy it while yer on it knowing this,too,shall pass.
I have been on it many times, but I know that life isn't always a pink cloud. life is life.
then when goin through tough times, I have to remember that this,too,shall pass.