Drinking confessoon
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2013
Posts: 249
Drinking confessoon
I drank on Friday. had a terrible day at work and instead of using the tools I've used in the past I went to the liquor store, I bought a bottle and got blackout drunk.
I was worried that if I had a slip I would enjoy it and want to go back to my old lifestyle, or that I would slip into a depression because I had messed up. Thankfully I feel neither. I definitely don't want to go back to that lifestyle, I can't believe I used to put my body thru that on a regular basis....
Did it make my bad day at work any less bad? Not at all. Instead it turned what could have been a productive weekend into a hungover unproductive one, and for that I'm upset with myself.
It waS a slip on my recovery journey, it's now in the past and onward I go.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" - Confucius.
I was worried that if I had a slip I would enjoy it and want to go back to my old lifestyle, or that I would slip into a depression because I had messed up. Thankfully I feel neither. I definitely don't want to go back to that lifestyle, I can't believe I used to put my body thru that on a regular basis....
Did it make my bad day at work any less bad? Not at all. Instead it turned what could have been a productive weekend into a hungover unproductive one, and for that I'm upset with myself.
It waS a slip on my recovery journey, it's now in the past and onward I go.
"Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" - Confucius.
Guest
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: Nottingham (UK)
Posts: 2,690
I admire your honesty. I admire Confucius too, but what he fails to say in that quote, is that each fall is harder to climb back from, than the previous one. ( at least when it comes to alcoholism).
Be careful and glad you're ok
Be careful and glad you're ok
You'll have helped many others with your post, too 
Member
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: Washington, DC
Posts: 987
Hi Zoey, sorry you went through that but congrats on getting back on the horse right away. I know there are as many opinions about relapse or slipping as there are people here but it seems this strengthened your will to quit for good and also showed you that it is just as bad as it always was. That alcohol fixes nothing and, in reality, makes things worse.
That was my experience after I had six weeks of sobriety and then drank. I got blackout drunk and so freaking sick I wanted to DIE. It was way, way worse than ever before and I knew that it would never be "fun" or a relief again. This time, that helped me remember what picking up again was going to lead to. And it helped me stay sober and keep on for the past nine months. Now picking up again is the last thing on my mind when the sh!t hits the fan because that memory is burned into my awareness.
Feel better and know that this time, you've totally got this.
Thinking of you and sending you good wishes and strength.
That was my experience after I had six weeks of sobriety and then drank. I got blackout drunk and so freaking sick I wanted to DIE. It was way, way worse than ever before and I knew that it would never be "fun" or a relief again. This time, that helped me remember what picking up again was going to lead to. And it helped me stay sober and keep on for the past nine months. Now picking up again is the last thing on my mind when the sh!t hits the fan because that memory is burned into my awareness.
Feel better and know that this time, you've totally got this.
Thinking of you and sending you good wishes and strength.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Texas
Posts: 149
Can't thank you enough for you honesty & courage.
Really liked when you pointed out that drinking only served to turn your weekend into a "hungover unproductive one." What a huge step to see the big-picture effects. Just like Lump said, it helped me a lot.
Keep on trucking. We're right here with you.
Really liked when you pointed out that drinking only served to turn your weekend into a "hungover unproductive one." What a huge step to see the big-picture effects. Just like Lump said, it helped me a lot.
Keep on trucking. We're right here with you.
quat
Join Date: Jul 2013
Location: terra (mostly)firma
Posts: 4,823
Sounds like little changed from the last time you drank.
'cept maybe now the real you really doesn't like anymore, probably what some refer to as 'had enough' or 'not done til yer done' , whatever I don't like claptrap slogans, except when they express truisms.
Your post sounds like it is from someone who will no longer entertain the 'myth' of drinking, as it has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no positive effect to be gained. So good for you , it sounds like you get it , sounds like you're done, had enough to Know
wish you well
'cept maybe now the real you really doesn't like anymore, probably what some refer to as 'had enough' or 'not done til yer done' , whatever I don't like claptrap slogans, except when they express truisms.
Your post sounds like it is from someone who will no longer entertain the 'myth' of drinking, as it has been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt that there is no positive effect to be gained. So good for you , it sounds like you get it , sounds like you're done, had enough to Know
wish you well
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Daytona Beach, FL
Posts: 425
I had a slip a month ago - I think it really put me back to step 1 - that I am truly truly powerless over alcohol - so much that I drink even after I started recovery. Slips suck - it was very hard for me to go pick up a white chip, but I did. No great chasm opened up and swallowed me. No lightening strikes. Just love and support to welcome me back.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,439
Welcome back Zoey
hitting milestones can make us a bit giddy - feeling amazing one minute and drinking the next.
The important thing is you're back, you have experience of being sober, and you'll be better equipped this time.
are you planning to do anything differently at all?
D
hitting milestones can make us a bit giddy - feeling amazing one minute and drinking the next.
The important thing is you're back, you have experience of being sober, and you'll be better equipped this time.
are you planning to do anything differently at all?
D
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 65
Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.
Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. We want to find exactly how, when, and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves.
By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for us. Without a searching and fearless moral inventory, most of us have found that the faith which really works in daily living is still out of reach.
1981, AAWS, Inc., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pages 42-43
Step Four is our vigorous and painstaking effort to discover what these liabilities in each of us have been, and are. We want to find exactly how, when, and where our natural desires have warped us. We wish to look squarely at the unhappiness this has caused others and ourselves.
By discovering what our emotional deformities are, we can move toward their correction. Without a willing and persistent effort to do this, there can be little sobriety or contentment for us. Without a searching and fearless moral inventory, most of us have found that the faith which really works in daily living is still out of reach.
1981, AAWS, Inc., Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions, pages 42-43
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