malcolmsloan

Beginning day 5. Last night, Saturday, was rather difficult. I really had the desire to drink, strongest so far. I spent about an hour on SR and it helped. Around 11:30, one of the kids woke up sick, and here's how messed up my mind has become: I almost drank because one of the kids is sick--"this is streesful, I need to sleep, he will need me to be rested tomorrow. . ." But I was able to listen to myself--what a bunch of BS! I think we refer that to our AV, right (if it's not, please correct me)? I didn't listen and instead drank three cups of Chamomile tea. If my kid's sick he needs. . . I don't even need to articulate it's so obvious. Eventually fell asleep some time after 2 AM. Woke around 6, tired, but functional. I'm still not sleeping a lot, but the sleep I get feels better. When I was younger and would go through a sober period, I'd just quit, but, man the hooks are in me and it is so hard to get them out, so much work.

Today is a milestone. I have not been sober 5 days in over 6 years. It's Sunday, and I have to get up for work at 5 am on Monday morning. I work all day Monday and do not get home until 8:00. Usually, I start the day hungover and by noon I'm feeling okay and can get through the day. The problem is I'm used to this, I know I can do it. But can I do it sleep deprived (that question itself is my AV creeping in)? I know I can, but my AV will be messing with me bigtime throuhout the day, yelling by the evening, screaming as night advances.

Anyway, I know I thank SR every post, but I'm just so thankful for the help. I honestly don't know if I'd feel as strong about this without you all. On with day 5!

PS
What is the opposite of our AV? It it our SB (sober voice), RV (rational voice), other?

mecanix

day 5

Whats the opposite of the AV ? hmm i'd say the real you waiting to start living again

Good luck ,

bestwishes, m

Venecia

You can do this.

I'm kind of new to this, too. (100 days yesterday.) Recognize what triggers you and make a plan. Sundays have triggers? Try to redesign your Sundays, even in some small way. Think about how much better you'll be at your work when you're sharper.

The first week was really hard for me in terms of exhaustion. I was afraid I was going to fall asleep at the wheel one day and it was only 3 p.m. It gets better. Sleep is still an issue, but it's better.

Start to look for the posts from the wise men and wise women of SR. You'll start to recognize the veterans and they are some of the smartest people ever.

You can do this. And life is so much better. It's hard, but the alternative is so much worse.

zombiegirl

I've started to take overtime at work when the times my av starts to tabbed on at me.
This was I can't do anything about it but work through it.

You are doing so well xx

zombiegirl

Yabber on stupid phone lol

least

Good job on five days sober!

veryready

malcom you are awesome. you are winning lots of battles. no drinking today and by the end of your long day tomorrow you will be glad. Hang in there. It's worth it.

neferkamichael

Malcolmsloan, 5 days is FANTASTIC. Congratulations. Rootin for ya.