Rickh54

My name is Rick and I am an alcoholic. I have never poured vodka on my cereal, missed a day of work, hit my wife, or a telephone pole with the car, but I am a drunk. I am almost 60 and have been abusing liquor for 45 years. I am tired of it.
Beer is my friend and I miss it after 12 days almost. I drink with friends, strangers and alone. I love stopping at my neighbourhood pub. Used to be on Friday afternoons only, then added Saturdays, then the odd tuesday, then Wednesdays with a work guy. 4 or 5 beer turned into a dozen before 7 pm. The evening was shot.
Went for some blood tests a couple of weeks ago. Dr. called me in to tell me my liver #s were showing signs of problems. That gave me the wake up call to make a change in my life. Liquour has become our focus, not a special treat.
We travel to Mexico to an all inclusive so the drinks are non stop. We meet our friends at the pub to drink, I go to my rec property by myself so that my wife doesn't know how many beer I have drank. I wait until she goes to book club so that I can drink and then hide the bottles. Get into bed before she gets home.
You get the picture. Things have to change for me. I have two little grandsons that I love and I don't want to be in a daze while I watch them grow.
Any comments or suggestions would be appreciated.
Rick

Renarde

I am not an expert at all. I will have 90 days sober on Monday. Like you, I never had anything catastrophic happen and alcohol was a friend - wine was a lover, even. All I can say is that after going 3 months without it, I no longer miss it, I don't obsess over it, and I don't want it in my life. It took time but that emotional attachment will fade. I committed only to the immediate day, sometimes down to one hour or even 15 minutes at a time. Forever was too scary to think about - I didn't let my mind wander there and I think it helped me. Now at 90 days I am starting to see that forever/future without it and it doesn't seem bad at all. It feels good to become the person I am meant to be. Welcome and don't give up!

Dee74

Coming here is a great start Rick. I think support is so so important.

Really glad you've found us - I know those two little boys deserve and will treasure a Grandad who's being all that he can be

D

Rickh54

Thank you Renarde for your words of encouragement. I feel better today than I did yesterday. The first two days, i cried, as I felt I had lost my best friend. Then I took my 3 year old Grandson to DQ for a sundae. We laughed and laughed and I realized what I could miss.
The phone calls from my drinking buddies are still coming. I am sure they will get the message soon enough. My wife tells me I am in better spirits already.
One day at a time.
Good luck to you and thanks again

AG2013

Well said Rick. Finally becoming sick of it is a great motivator to give it up When I read your post it sounded just like me. I am a little over 60 days sober now after being a functional drunk for 30 years and to be honest its a roller coaster ride. Many days you will question if you are making the right decision giving it up. I tell myself I dont have a choice. Abusing alcohol is not only destroying our health but keeps us from experiencing real life and not fair to our loved ones who miss out sharing their life with the real us. Stay strong. Its all about learning to live sober now. Good luck to you

Skye2

to the forum Rick

RevivingOphelia

keep going!!

Rickh54

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. It is great to be with people that are going thru the exact feelings I am. Only "we" truly understand.

Rickh54

Well, thats day 12 done. Time for good night sleep again. Not much on SNL so I will retire.
I am so glad I found this website and this group. I am not alone and for that I am grateful.
I lost one best friend and found hundreds more, all in 12 days.

misspond

Hi Rickh54 - keep up the great work, your life will be all the better for it x