thislonelygirl

Vent!

Trying to stay healthy, positive and most importantly happy for others. It is not like me to be envious over someone else. It is not like me to have to try to be happy for someone else that i care about. I found myself listening to friends and family talk about their husbands/Partners giving them lavish gifts, having romantic AND healthy one on one time, Making holiday plans that involved gushing over their partners,families and Activities and Hearing how thankful they are that they have amazing husbands.
Good for you!! That's what I want to scream . good for f***** you! All while feeling slightly happy for them just envious that If i were to even say or do what they were i would be lying to everyone including myself. lavish gifts aren't important but when your ah Is too self centered or drunk that he can't even just surprise you with a bouquet of flowers instead of a empty bottle under the bed well fml!
When a Date night involves going out and wondering when he will get agitated because he hasn't had a drink or when we get home will he have a drink. when the holiday's involve me myself and i with family instead of ah because he probably wont remember them anyways or if he does will confuse this year with last year because he was too drunk or find one way or another to make it about alcohol. Once in awhile ah has surprised me. I shouldn't be surprised when he Is sweet or normal. I should not feel surprised that he acknowledged my feelings instead of make it about him. I shouldn't be surprised when a day is just a normal boring day.

Hammer

Getting close. Oh so. Close.

(you want to know what the winning statement is? -- not that I am all that smart -- just been studying and copying the winner's homework)


Trying to stay healthy, positive and most importantly happy for ME.

m1k3

This jumped out at me. What was a really hard thing to do was learn that what I really needed was to make me happy. I. Ant be responsible for other peoples happiness.

As the say in the rooms you have to put your own oxegyn mask first before you help someone else with theirs.

Your friend,

m1k3

Hammer, stop jumping in ahead of me. It makes ME look bad.




Your friend,

Hammer

Great minds, my brother.

yunno the rest.

Scares me that YOU make more sense to me all the time.

thislonelygirl

Wow hammer slap In the face lol. Wake up call. i agree Happy for ME not just for others. Thanks guys for the reply. Ah has been driving me up the wall all while everyone else seem to be carrying on happily.

dandylion

I think it is called awareness (in these circles). The step just before acceptance and then, finally--action.

Someone, here, on the forum, has a by line sort of like this: "There is seldom a coming to awareness without pain."

(if that person is reading this--please identify yourself and take credit)

dandylion