northend79

I have posted here in the past but not for some time..am just looking for some support today. I had about five months sober, and then this morning went and bought some beer. I drank two and then dumped the rest...but it is taking all my will power not to go and get more.

Johnston

you did the right thing coming here to share. My God, after my first beer I was missing in action from any type of support network for 18 months. Please, please, please ... even if you don't like AA go to a meeting today. I found the face to face support so crucial when I was coming back.

coraltint

good job coming back here, that's trying something different. Once we decide to try & quit, drinking becomes less fun. And for most of us, it hadn't been fun for a while....nobody comes here on a winning streak!

Stick around here for a while, maybe try the chat room out, start over tomorrow at Day 1 .

Keep coming back!

least

I'm glad you dumped the rest so you can start your recovery again.

anyistoomuch

What happened that after five months you decided to buy beer in the morning?

Actually, it doesn't matter. Whatever it was, you decided that drinking was the way to deal with it. And then you decided it wasn't and dumped it out, and now you are exercising your will power to not get more.

There is some sort of struggle going on here. Please go to a meeting. Your willpower muscles can only take so much. Only a certain amount of willpower will give you the strength to hold something heavy over your head, but eventually you will need other hands to help you keep it up.

Anna

I hope you can figure out why you believed you needed beer today. There was something that caused you to get the alcohol and hopefully you can find a new way to deal with this. I'm so glad you're back.

desertsong

Get to a meeting and make some phone calls. I'm glad you came here for support - next time, do it BEFORE you go out and buy beer. Good on you for dumping the rest, but you have already set the beast in motion by having those first two. Interrupt the process by doing something conducive to sobriety ... a meeting, those phone calls, posting here, getting out today and doing something constructive. You don't have to go buy more, but you do have to do something else. Willpower isn't enough!

northend79

I don't like saying reasons why, because it feels like excuses, ? But I was laid off unexpectedly on Thursday from my job.. Holidays and financial stress have always been triggers for me...just trying to stay focused

tootsl1

Be strong northend, you are going through a tough time just now and booze has been your historic 'go to' guy. Do you ever go to meetings? Perhaps chat online here too.

Wishing you all the best in staying sober and finding a new position- that is certainly more likely to happen if you keep on track x

azureseas

Hi there, sending you a hug, today is my day 1 (again)
why do we do this?
For me it is a way to numb out and not feel the uncomfortable emotions combined with habit
I had a whole bottle of red wine last night, this is not the life I want, laying in bed because I feel so bad today and can't remember bits of last night
no we deserve better than that
Thanks for posting

Lifeisforliving

Count catching yourself a success & coming here a success and celebrate that North. It beats beating yourself up for the other or falling prey to your AV which is trying to beckon you to the dark side.

HeadLump

You showed tremendous strength of character in pouring drink away and stopping a relapse in its tracks. Please give yourself credit for that!

neferkamichael

Northend79, I drank two and then dumped the rest? North you are FANTASTIC. Rootin for ya.

Dee74

Fear is a big trigger for a lot of us Northend - I'm sorry for your job loss and the timing of it.

Drinking doesn't make it better tho - it can't.

The only real lasting way to deal with the fear is to find a solution.

Use the support you have here - you're not alone - then get yourself together and start hitting the pavement as soon as you can looking for a new job and some money coming in

you can do this

D

cardoon

I'll just add to be careful over the next few days. For me I never enjoyed the first ones. But a few days later I was back at it. Commit and you'll be fine.

CaiHong

Hi Northend,
That is quite a big blow,losing your job, I think it is not such a reason to drink but more of a reason not to drink, you need to be firing on all pistons now.

Do you have any program that you follow?
I have stayed sober with the support of SR and AA

CaiHong

KateL

You did well to dump the rest after two, I could never have done that, so that is a positive in itself x

Hevyn

I'm glad you came back to post about this northend. I always felt better when I talked things over here - you are never alone. I know I wouldn't have thrown the rest of the beer away if I'd started up again. I'm so glad you did!

jat14

you were able to put the brakes on what could have been a terrible trainwreck so good for you. I know how you feel .. in my case I knew there was a possibility of being laid off and was planning and plotting my drinkfest if I did lose my job.. which I did then that gave me (in my twisted addict thinking) permission to get drunk off my azz..

you did the right thing pouring that beer away and it's not the end of the world and you obviously still want to be sober so I think you just need to consciously have a back up plan for when things get rough and you start craving a drink..

Zube

Well, lemme see...

You proved that you're only human...
You slipped, but you picked yourself back up...
You had the humility needed to ask for help...
You are able to identify your triggers...

Support?
Your pretty damn awesome in my book, Northend79!

Zube