Just Another Newb
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Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 9
Just Another Newb
Hello 
I guess it would be polite for background info. I am 27, life a bit of a mess and a recovering alcoholic. I do not have a job--recently fired. I am back to square one on many levels.
I decied to quit about a week or two ago cold turkey and it was not a bright move. I lasted about five days before I went to the ER. I did not fit the criteria for detox so they stabilized me,gave librium, and sent home the following late morning.
I thought I was cured lol... withdrawals started again eventually... this time I gave in and drank thinking a smaller amount would help. So now went to ER again chaffeured by the ambulance. Once again told I don't meet criteria for detox as by that time the alcohol wasn't present in their little finger stick machine.
I wanted to give it. They admitted me for another reason. The tachy heart rate and have been monitoring me. I have been given ativan, then oaxezam (if spelled right) and then Ativan when I started acted "not normal" again.
They feel it is withdrawals but also underlying anxiety issue. I am agreeing. I have a journey to go through. Sobriety is one. Finally dealing with anxiety is another. While getting my life yet again.
:/
I guess it would be polite for background info. I am 27, life a bit of a mess and a recovering alcoholic. I do not have a job--recently fired. I am back to square one on many levels.
I decied to quit about a week or two ago cold turkey and it was not a bright move. I lasted about five days before I went to the ER. I did not fit the criteria for detox so they stabilized me,gave librium, and sent home the following late morning.
I thought I was cured lol... withdrawals started again eventually... this time I gave in and drank thinking a smaller amount would help. So now went to ER again chaffeured by the ambulance. Once again told I don't meet criteria for detox as by that time the alcohol wasn't present in their little finger stick machine.
I wanted to give it. They admitted me for another reason. The tachy heart rate and have been monitoring me. I have been given ativan, then oaxezam (if spelled right) and then Ativan when I started acted "not normal" again.
They feel it is withdrawals but also underlying anxiety issue. I am agreeing. I have a journey to go through. Sobriety is one. Finally dealing with anxiety is another. While getting my life yet again.
:/
Last edited by InSilenceWeHear; 11-23-2013 at 03:25 AM. Reason: Spell Check--I should really start using it lol
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Join Date: Nov 2010
Location: Indiana
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Welcome ISWH!
I cringe at ER stories like that because they remind me of my own. 2 consecutive visits and loaded up with banana bags, sugar bags, Valium, and Ativan. After each visit I felt well enough to leave on my own recognizance and drink, which I did. It finally took a third visit and me lying and saying that I was suicidal for them to admit me to the psych ward where I was able to detox under close supervision for the next 3 days.
Good wishes to you, and your newfound sobriety in spite of the ER. They do mean well, they are just not staffed and trained to be detox centers.
Peace,
Zube
I cringe at ER stories like that because they remind me of my own. 2 consecutive visits and loaded up with banana bags, sugar bags, Valium, and Ativan. After each visit I felt well enough to leave on my own recognizance and drink, which I did. It finally took a third visit and me lying and saying that I was suicidal for them to admit me to the psych ward where I was able to detox under close supervision for the next 3 days.
Good wishes to you, and your newfound sobriety in spite of the ER. They do mean well, they are just not staffed and trained to be detox centers.
Peace,
Zube
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Join Date: Nov 2013
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I did contemplate telling them I was suicidal for that reason. I just didn't want to go that route but now feel like I should have :/.
I did get my very first banana bag here,life advice that whilst appreciated it was somewhat unwarranted. The questions as to why, which is something I must address in therapy, but the prodding into my life to understand the dysfunction. That will take a long while to understand...
They all mean well and have done a better job than the previous hosp, just the next step I'm unsure what it is exactly.
A friend out of state contacted AA in my state to call me. So I guess I'll eventually be going to meetings? That is a step I never thought I needed to take.
Admitting the anxiety and possibly taking meds is another step I never thought.
I'm confused and scared all at once.
I did get my very first banana bag here,life advice that whilst appreciated it was somewhat unwarranted. The questions as to why, which is something I must address in therapy, but the prodding into my life to understand the dysfunction. That will take a long while to understand...
They all mean well and have done a better job than the previous hosp, just the next step I'm unsure what it is exactly.
A friend out of state contacted AA in my state to call me. So I guess I'll eventually be going to meetings? That is a step I never thought I needed to take.
Admitting the anxiety and possibly taking meds is another step I never thought.
I'm confused and scared all at once.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
Confusion and fear are part of the entry into this giant leap of faith. You've got nothing to loose by diving into the deep end of sobriety, but a ton to loose by wadding in the shallow waters of addiction!
It sound like your friend from out of state is a good one, souround yourself with supportive people and stay here, there's tons of support!
It sound like your friend from out of state is a good one, souround yourself with supportive people and stay here, there's tons of support!
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Yes. She is also my therapist of sorts lol. She has very long history of working with addicts and alcoholics. I appreciate what she did .
I am to discharged soon. I look like a mess. I also will bee walking home for all the world to see on this nice Saturday morning lol.
Day I'm work and pockets full of cash and now broke again. All of this is humbling, embarrassing and just eh. I keep making same mistakes. When will the end? Sorry for the rant.
Doctor said To try to not dRink and come back Monday. I don't want to come back. I want to beat this and manage from home...:/
He said to come back Monday for detox. He knows I need alcohol in my system to be accepted. I know he means well but...
I am to discharged soon. I look like a mess. I also will bee walking home for all the world to see on this nice Saturday morning lol.
Day I'm work and pockets full of cash and now broke again. All of this is humbling, embarrassing and just eh. I keep making same mistakes. When will the end? Sorry for the rant.
Doctor said To try to not dRink and come back Monday. I don't want to come back. I want to beat this and manage from home...:/
He said to come back Monday for detox. He knows I need alcohol in my system to be accepted. I know he means well but...
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Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Just keep going back. At least you are on the right track. Some medics have little time for those with alcohol issues and often roll their eyes, but some are kind and understanding. I hope you find the help you need.
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I will keep trying. My first step is going home, walking my dog who is probably angry, showering and contacting that woman from AA about the meetings in my area/considering going into my walk in clinic at my doc office seeking help. They cannot detox I know lol but for the anxiety I have to start somewhere.
Whether or not today I go to a meeting, I know I will tomorrow or monday...I'm sorry to ask but for those who know. What is it like? What do I say or do lol.
Whether or not today I go to a meeting, I know I will tomorrow or monday...I'm sorry to ask but for those who know. What is it like? What do I say or do lol.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
I'm not an AAer but there is a section here where I'm sure there are members who can walk you through what to expect
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-support/
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-step-support/
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I will go search for that info
It has been a long Time Since I was awake in time to see a sunrise. It is so Nice. Beautiful. It makes me feel as if all Will be ok.
I wish I could it every morNing and that I would feel like this every day.
It has been a long Time Since I was awake in time to see a sunrise. It is so Nice. Beautiful. It makes me feel as if all Will be ok.
I wish I could it every morNing and that I would feel like this every day.
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Join Date: May 2013
Location: North East, US
Posts: 2,310
It's a beautiful feeling hold on to it. When I first got sober every morning I felt like Ebenezor Scrooge when he wakes from his final dream. I was so thankful to be alive alert and thankful for a new day!
You can do this I'm rooting for you!!!
You can do this
I'm rooting for you!!!
Kaleidoscope eyes
Join Date: Oct 2013
Location: London
Posts: 5,243
Originally Posted by InSilenceWeHear 
I will keep trying. My first step is going home, walking my dog who is probably angry, showering and contacting that woman from AA about the meetings in my area/considering going into my walk in clinic at my doc office seeking help. They cannot detox I know lol but for the anxiety I have to start somewhere.
Whether or not today I go to a meeting, I know I will tomorrow or monday...I'm sorry to ask but for those who know. What is it like? What do I say or do lol.
Whether or not today I go to a meeting, I know I will tomorrow or monday...I'm sorry to ask but for those who know. What is it like? What do I say or do lol.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: New York
Posts: 9
I have to speak to a doctor.
Last night was difficult. I laid here shaking and just tried fighting it. I won but was so hard. I also text or call people acting weird. I am unintentionally pushing people away from me. I need to stop.
Hard does not begin to describe it. I don't really have a desire to drink but my mind says a beer or two would stop the shakes and I'm like no just tough it out.
Idk when the trembles will stop.
Last night was difficult. I laid here shaking and just tried fighting it. I won but was so hard. I also text or call people acting weird. I am unintentionally pushing people away from me. I need to stop.
Hard does not begin to describe it. I don't really have a desire to drink but my mind says a beer or two would stop the shakes and I'm like no just tough it out.
Idk when the trembles will stop.
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