Flying4Life

Today was long and hard for me. At the end of it, this young woman in one of my work groups at school decided that today would be a good day to be a bully towards me. She made a racist comment towards me and tried to tell me repeatedly that I wasn’t an equal member of the group and that she had the power to veto my ideas even if they only pertained to my part of the assignment and were completely reasonable. The whole thing obviously made the rest of the group uncomfortable too. Emotionally I was shaking but I stuck to my grounds, made logical arguments, and refused to make it personal or sink down to her level. I was willing to compromise with the rest of the group instead of being bullheaded. I feel good about how I behaved, I feel sad that she feels the need to put others down in order to feel good. It was really upsetting to me and afterwards I Really wanted a drink. I haven’t wanted a drink like that in so long. But I didn’t drink!! No sense hurting myself just because she is hurting inside. I didn’t cause her low self-esteem and I can’t cure it. But it is important for me to stand my ground if it makes sense and to respect myself and be proud of my own conduct.

I feel like this is a huge accomplishment for me. Maybe I am stronger than I think I am, anyways I have to work with her tomorrow and for the next couple of weeks. I hope that I can continue to behave in a way that would make my family proud when I am around her. This is a big lesson for me, and I am twice as proud that I talked it out instead of drinking to numb my feelings. Plus I didn't cry!

BeachyBoy

Wow! I'm proud of you too! Sounds like you were the adult in the class and I'm sure the rest of the group agrees.

Dee74

I'm sorry you had to experience that Flying - but it sounds like you handled it admirably

D

Leana

Great job!

ZeldaFan

It sounds like you applied the advice in Dee's signature to your life today.

mecanix

Hey Flying ,
I can't imagine how much that would upset you . I get ignorant things said about puffs, gays or pansies and it really gets my goat .. I do drop it mostly though .. Sometimes other people are going through their own kinda hell and kick at anything and say thoughtless hurtful things ..

Sobriety has bought me great compassion and understanding (i hope) ..

Today you're a star in my heavens ,i'm humbled to have you on my journey thanks

Bestwishes, m

GracieLou

Good for you! Sometimes I think we get so down on ourselves that we feel we deserve to be treated badly and that is not the case.

You took the high road and still maintained you integrity, Good job!

JaylaaKent

Excellent insight - love it.

LadyBlue0527

I 2nd what Jaylaa said about this part of your comment, this is a VERY healthy statement!

When you quit drinking sometimes you think that the problems that other people have are going to go away. Then, there is a certain sense of relief when you realize that you can't fix other people, you can only fix you and how you handle things. That realization is uplifting and freeing.

Good going on this!

ChrisBen

Way to go Flying4Life. I'm still so taken back by how immature adults can behave. I treat people the way I want to be treated and get perplexed when they don't behave the same way. Thank you for sharing this and good job handling it alcohol free!

Cascabel

It was a huge accomplishment; I don't think I could have been as mature in those circumstances as were you. Good job!

ImperfectlyMe

I'm twice as proud of you too. Give her your pity not your power! Well done

soberjim

What a great post...thank you for posting this!

zombiegirl

I hate bullies and anyone who is so nasty to others who are different from them.
The bully obviously has some issues and decided to pick on the strongest person there.
You did well my darling as I think I would have knocked her block off

Flying4Life

Than you to everyone who responded to this thread! Dealing with this kind of situation was so difficult in the moment, and right afterwards with all the adrenaline pumping thru my veins and craving a drink (or several) to calm me down.

Your support is priceless to me and I hope that we can all make it thru this journey together.

HeadLump

Beautiful posts, Flying4Life, and a great lesson in mindfulness and maturity for all of us

neferkamichael

Flying4Life, you are FANTASTIC, and I too am proud of you for keeping our grace and dignity. Bullying is a major issue with me and I loath it, yet I have never addressed it at all. I can't stop the bullying but I don't have to let it destroy me like it does. Thank you so much for this thread. Rootin for ya.