New Here.. A Few Thoughts
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Location: Canada
Posts: 608
New Here.. A Few Thoughts
Hi everybody,
Just wanted to say hello to everyone. I'm new to the forums, I'm a long time reader but first time poster. I have been addicted to alcohol since I was a teenager, which would mean that it has been roughly 15 years or so, and I am tired and ready to quit. I've tried to quit countless times, never successfully, but I feel different this time. Why? I asked myself some questions.
First, I asked myself what benefits I ever got from drinking. Are there any, really? I'm always worse off the next day than I was before drinking. I'm worse off mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc.
I remember when I first started drinking, I remember it being fun. But the past few years it's been anything but fun. I mostly drink alone, in a room, watching a hockey game or listening to music. It's depressing when I really think about it. What am I hoping to achieve by drinking? It's just terrible, really. It doesn't make me more social, because I drink alone. It doesn't make me more confident, it does the exact opposite. It makes me anxious, it makes me insecure. It gives me severe hangovers, which I could deal with I suppose, but it has long lasting consequences like emotional and social anxiety, depression, and a general feeling of being "down". I hate this feeling. I believe there is nothing worse than this, and alcohol directly contributes to this.
I'm thankful I have a family, with two great children. My wife has been put through a lot, mainly because of my drinking (I won't even get into it, but my drinking was terrible). I have decided that enough is enough.
I believe in the past, a major reason that I like to believe was an obstacle for me not drinking was that I was ashamed to admit that I had a problem to those close to me. The thought of saying "I can't have a drink, I'm an alcoholic" scared the wits out of me. It still does, really. But I have decided it's none of anyone's business the reasons I have for not drinking. I am saying that I am not drinking because I'm training for a marathon and I have to stay focused. That works fine, it gets the conversation off the topic of alcohol and onto the topic of running marathons. I actually might do it! Or at least, try to do it. Marathons are very long LOL.
Anyway, I have tried all sorts of things to quit alcohol in the past. I've been on antabuse. It works great, but it doesn't get to the root of the problem. I feel very positive now, and I think this is partly due to the different light I see alcohol under. It's a very pointless drug. And a drug is exactly what it is. I see no difference between being addicted to alcohol and being addicted to, say, heroin or crack cocaine. They're all very destructive drugs and I've spent years as a drug addict. My drug was alcohol. But no more. I will not have "one or two beer", just as I will not have "one or two hits of heroin". I won't ever say "I can't drink alcohol", I will instead say "I can do whatever I want to do, but I choose to not drink alcohol because it doesn't provide any benefits for me whatsoever". There is no purpose to drinking alcohol. No point. There is no upside, no benefits. It's all a trap, a Jedi mind trick. I understand this now, and I hope you all do too. I believe everyone is addicted to alcohol in some sense (everyone who drinks, that is). I believe this is a harmful drug, and the nature of human beings is to desire more and more of a drug. If someone believes one drink will give them a benefit, then they must believe there is a benefit in drinking a thousand drinks. There are obstacles that prevent, or subside, people into maintaining a slow pace of drinking, but I believe it is possible for anyone to become addicted.
Anyway, I wish you all the best luck. Hang in there, and I will too. I'll keep reading your interesting posts, and thanks for reading mine.
Just wanted to say hello to everyone. I'm new to the forums, I'm a long time reader but first time poster. I have been addicted to alcohol since I was a teenager, which would mean that it has been roughly 15 years or so, and I am tired and ready to quit. I've tried to quit countless times, never successfully, but I feel different this time. Why? I asked myself some questions.
First, I asked myself what benefits I ever got from drinking. Are there any, really? I'm always worse off the next day than I was before drinking. I'm worse off mentally, emotionally, physically, financially, etc.
I remember when I first started drinking, I remember it being fun. But the past few years it's been anything but fun. I mostly drink alone, in a room, watching a hockey game or listening to music. It's depressing when I really think about it. What am I hoping to achieve by drinking? It's just terrible, really. It doesn't make me more social, because I drink alone. It doesn't make me more confident, it does the exact opposite. It makes me anxious, it makes me insecure. It gives me severe hangovers, which I could deal with I suppose, but it has long lasting consequences like emotional and social anxiety, depression, and a general feeling of being "down". I hate this feeling. I believe there is nothing worse than this, and alcohol directly contributes to this.
I'm thankful I have a family, with two great children. My wife has been put through a lot, mainly because of my drinking (I won't even get into it, but my drinking was terrible). I have decided that enough is enough.
I believe in the past, a major reason that I like to believe was an obstacle for me not drinking was that I was ashamed to admit that I had a problem to those close to me. The thought of saying "I can't have a drink, I'm an alcoholic" scared the wits out of me. It still does, really. But I have decided it's none of anyone's business the reasons I have for not drinking. I am saying that I am not drinking because I'm training for a marathon and I have to stay focused. That works fine, it gets the conversation off the topic of alcohol and onto the topic of running marathons. I actually might do it! Or at least, try to do it. Marathons are very long LOL.
Anyway, I have tried all sorts of things to quit alcohol in the past. I've been on antabuse. It works great, but it doesn't get to the root of the problem. I feel very positive now, and I think this is partly due to the different light I see alcohol under. It's a very pointless drug. And a drug is exactly what it is. I see no difference between being addicted to alcohol and being addicted to, say, heroin or crack cocaine. They're all very destructive drugs and I've spent years as a drug addict. My drug was alcohol. But no more. I will not have "one or two beer", just as I will not have "one or two hits of heroin". I won't ever say "I can't drink alcohol", I will instead say "I can do whatever I want to do, but I choose to not drink alcohol because it doesn't provide any benefits for me whatsoever". There is no purpose to drinking alcohol. No point. There is no upside, no benefits. It's all a trap, a Jedi mind trick. I understand this now, and I hope you all do too. I believe everyone is addicted to alcohol in some sense (everyone who drinks, that is). I believe this is a harmful drug, and the nature of human beings is to desire more and more of a drug. If someone believes one drink will give them a benefit, then they must believe there is a benefit in drinking a thousand drinks. There are obstacles that prevent, or subside, people into maintaining a slow pace of drinking, but I believe it is possible for anyone to become addicted.
Anyway, I wish you all the best luck. Hang in there, and I will too. I'll keep reading your interesting posts, and thanks for reading mine.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: Ireland
Posts: 25,826
Welcome to the Forum BPositive!! it was only when I first posted did I feel I was signed up to be Sober, there was then some accountability and a community of people that was here 24/7! . . . great stuff!! 
Member
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Upper Midwest
Posts: 1,730
Great first post, BP. I am glad you discovered this place. My drinking routine and personal situation is very similar to yours, including the drunken nights parked in front of my tv, watching hockey with a very large glass full of vodka. The good people here at SR have provided me with the support and advice to stay sober for nearly 3 months now. I hope you will post often and keep us informed of your progress. Welcome. 
You sound like you're ready for a better life. 
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