Tige1979

So this past Thursday and Friday I went on a somewhat usual alcohol binge with my friends. This time we ended up at huge party at an expensive hotel with booze and drugs flowing everywhere. After a night of no sleep I continued the party throughout the day on Friday with a mound of cocaine and bottles of beer to wet my whistle all while looking friends to partake in my debauchery, to no avail. I mad an ass out myself to a few people, drove my car loaded, spent too much money the night before and finally ended up in the ER Friday night going into convulsions. As I laid in the hospital bed convulsing and numb from head to toe with my life flashing somewhat before my eyes I decided I had had enough. The person I was was not who I was supposed to be and that was going to change. I made the decision in the middle of the ordeal and still feel the same about it now. The only problem is I have felt this way before...I tend to binge pretty hard and go for the gusto when I do. Any thoughts on a good next step? I have contacted an addiction specialists and that is as far as I am 5 days sober!

SeaScape

Hi there! Welcome to this great site - I'm pretty new too.
Wow! What a story - I felt a little ill reading it actually. I'm sure you will find lots of resources and support here. I'm new and have found that having a plan is important - especially new hobbies and sometimes even new friends. For your health stick with your sobriety because the binging only gets worse - in how far you go and how much damage you do to your health and life. Congrats on 5 days!

Blessdmess

I've been there man. I was a mad binger combined with an incredible skill for forgetting pain, along with a dilution mind in denial that kept telling me that "it wasn't that bad".

Just a trip to the hospital? Not bad

Just a wrecked car? Not that bad

Just a lost job because of attendance and performance? Not that bad

Just pawned family belonging to get money to drink? Little more bad

Stealing and robbing? Little worse

DUI Manslaughter? Bad bad

Killed someone's family? Bad bad

This list, like the way our disease gets exponentially worse is. So bad you can't take back.

If you have the capacity to know and remember how bad it is right now, want to stop and learn a new way to live then do this:

90 meetings in 90 days
Find a sponsor/anyone will do
Clean up after the meeting
Find meetings that are book reading and step work
Join a "Home Group"
Try to just listen and follow the simple directions. Listen to men and women that have become sober, have something about them that attracts you, find out what they do and how they live and just do it.
Don't try to create the latest and greatest recovering program that just fits you.
Respect those that have built it over many years and just be humble and do exactly as you are told....and do it honestly.

Skye2

to the forum Sounds like you and those you could have hit with the car, have all had a lucky escape. That said, you've 'done' 5 days, so the worst of withdrawals should be over and the good news is, you never have to go through that again.

There are many methods of recovery - all listed around the forum, so i'm sure you'll find one that works for you Please keep posting and let us know how you're getting along

Dee74

welkcome to SR Tige

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Jeni26

Welcome to SR. That sounds a scary experience, and a very good reason to quit.

You couldn't carry on that sort of lifestyle indefinitely.

Write down how you're feeling right now as a reminder for when you start feeling better. Read around..there are plenty here like you and who are building new sober happy lives.

Best wishes to you.

endlesspatience

Can you speak to another recovering alcoholic or addict face to face about what happened and your resolve to quit? We can offer you lots of support on the site but it's always good to actually speak about it honestly with another person, I think.

least

Welcome to the family.

NorCal1970

Welcome Tige and congrats on 5 days.