Chronic Recovery?
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
Chronic Recovery?
Looking over this place and seeing all the help available, I noticed the box about Chronic Recovery. Does anyone know about or have experience with this one?
I remember it took me FIVE months at a rehab facility to finally "get it." And with all the money and time my AW has spend going in and out of detox - (three days of rest and relaxation, is all I ever see her get out of it) so many treatment centers that some don't want her to come back- the longest, 20 days, which kept her sober all of a month.
Then we went to California and chanced upon an in home treatment program, that supposedly "cured" you in five days. Really intense and medication related. That lasted a good three months.
And lastly, she went to this last detox some time ago, and stayed sober for almost ninty days! Because I think that after that one, she went to AA, talked to others about her problem, maybe actually tried to work the program, and then as quickly, she stopped.
If you've read my other threads, you know where I am now, so what I want to know is how is that place?
Burning Tree Recovery? Ninty day MINIMUM stay, but how is she going to get in if it even becomes a consideration. She CANNOT stay sober three days, to get sober enough for them to accept her, and if I send her on a plane, I know damn well that by the time she gets off, she'll be so drunk that, here again will be money wasted, cause they're gonna kick her away at the door - all the way in Texas and God knows how much it'll cost.
But she'd probably come back with some story of how THEY did something wrong, and it was THEIR fault why she couldn't get in. Oh yeah, we've been there too. Like I said some treatment centers here will not admit her again, even for detox, because her behavior gets outregeous when you try to tell her she's wrong at anything.
And don't let them get on her case in treatment. You guys don't know. She's here, and she "says" she likes it here. But she's an infrequent visitor/poster, and as soon as someone starts telling her about herself, and how much of a fantasy world she lives in, she's gone.
But it's her disease. I've read "Property Lines" and I'm trying to stick by it. But it would be nice to find somewhere that could help and someone that could see through her ********.
anyway, just wanted to know if any of you know anything about Burning Tree?
That's along way to go for treatment, but it says they deal with chronic recovery, and boy if this ain't chronic, I don't know what is.
Shoot, it's got to stop somewhere... :nono:
I remember it took me FIVE months at a rehab facility to finally "get it." And with all the money and time my AW has spend going in and out of detox - (three days of rest and relaxation, is all I ever see her get out of it) so many treatment centers that some don't want her to come back- the longest, 20 days, which kept her sober all of a month.
Then we went to California and chanced upon an in home treatment program, that supposedly "cured" you in five days. Really intense and medication related. That lasted a good three months.
And lastly, she went to this last detox some time ago, and stayed sober for almost ninty days! Because I think that after that one, she went to AA, talked to others about her problem, maybe actually tried to work the program, and then as quickly, she stopped.
If you've read my other threads, you know where I am now, so what I want to know is how is that place?
Burning Tree Recovery? Ninty day MINIMUM stay, but how is she going to get in if it even becomes a consideration. She CANNOT stay sober three days, to get sober enough for them to accept her, and if I send her on a plane, I know damn well that by the time she gets off, she'll be so drunk that, here again will be money wasted, cause they're gonna kick her away at the door - all the way in Texas and God knows how much it'll cost.
But she'd probably come back with some story of how THEY did something wrong, and it was THEIR fault why she couldn't get in. Oh yeah, we've been there too. Like I said some treatment centers here will not admit her again, even for detox, because her behavior gets outregeous when you try to tell her she's wrong at anything.
And don't let them get on her case in treatment. You guys don't know. She's here, and she "says" she likes it here. But she's an infrequent visitor/poster, and as soon as someone starts telling her about herself, and how much of a fantasy world she lives in, she's gone.
But it's her disease. I've read "Property Lines" and I'm trying to stick by it. But it would be nice to find somewhere that could help and someone that could see through her ********.
anyway, just wanted to know if any of you know anything about Burning Tree?
That's along way to go for treatment, but it says they deal with chronic recovery, and boy if this ain't chronic, I don't know what is.
Shoot, it's got to stop somewhere... :nono:
Member
Join Date: Jan 2003
Posts: 4,955
My ex went on a lot of 72-hour rides. They never worked for him. It was only when he went into a 90-day facility that he found recovery.
I don't know what will work for your wife, or how bad she wants to recover.
I do know that she's got to want it for her to get well.
I don't know what will work for your wife, or how bad she wants to recover.
I do know that she's got to want it for her to get well.
once in a . . .
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
Lost -
You CANNOT "fix" anyone but yourself.
Put your energy into working on YOU.
Been to an AA meeting lately? Been to an Al-anon meeting ever??
If you're not willing to put the effort into 'fixing' yourself, i'd hazard the guess that you just don't hurt enough yet.
Be po'd at me if you'd like. But i live where you do.
Blue
sober in AA for 12 yrs
You CANNOT "fix" anyone but yourself.
Put your energy into working on YOU.
Been to an AA meeting lately? Been to an Al-anon meeting ever??
If you're not willing to put the effort into 'fixing' yourself, i'd hazard the guess that you just don't hurt enough yet.
Be po'd at me if you'd like. But i live where you do.
Blue
sober in AA for 12 yrs
Dancing To My Own Beat
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: I don't know what kind of state I'm in
Posts: 1,326
(( Lost ))
Did you do something for your recovery today, Lost? Have you focussed on taking care of you and letting others be responsible for their own life? You are treating yourself worse than anyone else is. You are worth focussing on. Hugs, Magic
Did you do something for your recovery today, Lost? Have you focussed on taking care of you and letting others be responsible for their own life? You are treating yourself worse than anyone else is. You are worth focussing on. Hugs, Magic
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
:shocked1: I keep trying to tell you that's what I'm trying to do. Focus on me.
I am writing, finishing assignment (at least back working on the material required). I am leaving her alone. To deal with herself. I am back to pushing ME. Doing what I want and am supposed to be doing. I know if I hit, I'm out of here and that's what she's afraid of. But success is my friend, and I have to do it for me. This is my thing alone, not hers.
Even if I never sell, at least I'm back thinking about and doing what I need to do to continue advancing to where I want to be in this world.
AA and Allanon? I stopped going to AA long ago. After five years, I stopped. Yeah, I may go once in a while. But it got to be where I got sick and tired of hearing sick and tired stories!
I do not drink. Have no desire to drink. And if I did, I know there's not another sobriety in this kid. So it's just not something I do. That's it!
I am a great proponent of Tony Robbins, learning and believing, "if you change the way things are represented to you, then you change your thoughts on that negative thing." Alcohol no longer has any place or reference in my life...
I found it was not conducive to anything worthwhile in my life and after accepting that (with God's help) it went away.
Oh, I may think about a drink, and have with this maniac up in my face for the last eight years. Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind just to forget it all and join the party. :bparty3
But then I look at her, and it's all I need to say, "HELL NO!! I'M NOT GOING THERE!"
But yes, you're right. I do want her desperately to change. We had and have been through SOOO much! And this I know is something I have to release, but I hate that I spent all my young life with her, and now, evening is coming and the darkness alone scares me.
I am writing, finishing assignment (at least back working on the material required). I am leaving her alone. To deal with herself. I am back to pushing ME. Doing what I want and am supposed to be doing. I know if I hit, I'm out of here and that's what she's afraid of. But success is my friend, and I have to do it for me. This is my thing alone, not hers.
Even if I never sell, at least I'm back thinking about and doing what I need to do to continue advancing to where I want to be in this world.
AA and Allanon? I stopped going to AA long ago. After five years, I stopped. Yeah, I may go once in a while. But it got to be where I got sick and tired of hearing sick and tired stories!
I do not drink. Have no desire to drink. And if I did, I know there's not another sobriety in this kid. So it's just not something I do. That's it!
I am a great proponent of Tony Robbins, learning and believing, "if you change the way things are represented to you, then you change your thoughts on that negative thing." Alcohol no longer has any place or reference in my life...
I found it was not conducive to anything worthwhile in my life and after accepting that (with God's help) it went away.
Oh, I may think about a drink, and have with this maniac up in my face for the last eight years. Don't think it hasn't crossed my mind just to forget it all and join the party. :bparty3
But then I look at her, and it's all I need to say, "HELL NO!! I'M NOT GOING THERE!"
But yes, you're right. I do want her desperately to change. We had and have been through SOOO much! And this I know is something I have to release, but I hate that I spent all my young life with her, and now, evening is coming and the darkness alone scares me.
Member
Join Date: May 2003
Location: Levittown Pennsylvania
Posts: 264
but I hate that I spent all my young life with her, and now, dawn is coming and the darkness alone scares me.
****{LostDream}}}
I know.
We have so many wishes, it is hard to let them go.
Just know that someday you can and will have new ones.
once in a . . .
Join Date: May 2004
Location: looking in / looking out
Posts: 1,214
But then I look at her, and it's all I need to say, "HELL NO!! I'M NOT GOING THERE!"
hey i know THAT feeling! - [sad smile] -
as far as meetings (of ANY "flavor"!) getting "whiny", etc - yeah, i know THAT feeling too! but not all of them are like that - when i find myself in one that IS, i was told (repeatedly!) that i should sit there and listen for the similarities to my life - and/or that i should sit there and be grateful that *I* am not like that - AFTER i have sat and made sure that i'm not!!!
"shop around" for a meeting that's 'good'!
for me, the best thing about meetings is the fellowship before and after the actual meeting - that's when i really get to find out that i am not so strange/weird/unique/sick/crazy as what i tend to think i am - i get to find out that there ARE others out there who feel like i do, who understand, who have been or ARE where i am - and it can be a MAJOR source of comfort -
meetings are really hard for me to go to - even tho i KNOW they are really good for me and so many different levels! I'm a hermit by nature and i pretty much *like* that - but i know when the s*** hits the fan, i NEED to make myself go talk to people f2f.
(so if a big hermit/chicken like ME can do it - - - -)
my AH + i have been thru heck and back - several times. We always prided ourselves on our relationship and we *worked* hard at it. It sucks really hard to be in this hellish limbo - it sucks to not know if he's gonna make it back this time or not - it just plain SUCKS! I want the good person back! The one i fell in love with and married. All i know to do to keep that a possibility, is to keep working on keeping ME sane and yes, *happy*.
I can really empathise with you Lost! Hang in there is all i can say ...
oh - and my favorite quote from the "Big Book"
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
- i just love that! It gives me alot of comfort.
****{hugs}}}
Blue
hey i know THAT feeling! - [sad smile] -
as far as meetings (of ANY "flavor"!) getting "whiny", etc - yeah, i know THAT feeling too! but not all of them are like that - when i find myself in one that IS, i was told (repeatedly!) that i should sit there and listen for the similarities to my life - and/or that i should sit there and be grateful that *I* am not like that - AFTER i have sat and made sure that i'm not!!!
"shop around" for a meeting that's 'good'!
for me, the best thing about meetings is the fellowship before and after the actual meeting - that's when i really get to find out that i am not so strange/weird/unique/sick/crazy as what i tend to think i am - i get to find out that there ARE others out there who feel like i do, who understand, who have been or ARE where i am - and it can be a MAJOR source of comfort -
meetings are really hard for me to go to - even tho i KNOW they are really good for me and so many different levels! I'm a hermit by nature and i pretty much *like* that - but i know when the s*** hits the fan, i NEED to make myself go talk to people f2f.
(so if a big hermit/chicken like ME can do it - - - -
)my AH + i have been thru heck and back - several times. We always prided ourselves on our relationship and we *worked* hard at it. It sucks really hard to be in this hellish limbo - it sucks to not know if he's gonna make it back this time or not - it just plain SUCKS! I want the good person back! The one i fell in love with and married. All i know to do to keep that a possibility, is to keep working on keeping ME sane and yes, *happy*.
I can really empathise with you Lost! Hang in there is all i can say ...
oh - and my favorite quote from the "Big Book"
"And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation - some fact of my life - unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing, or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
Nothing, absolutely nothing happens in God's world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life's terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes."
- i just love that! It gives me alot of comfort. ****{hugs}}}
Blue
Member
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: houston, tx
Posts: 323
Face it the Big Book is not the Bible. it was writtren bytwo very flawed men one of who cheated on his wife even while sober . So to say that nothing happens in this world by mistake is to me giving the alcoholiuc license that all the mean cruel things he did to others was God's will. O do not beleive this. I tyhink God sets you down here and let's you do ypur own thing. You are responsible for your addiction and the many wrongs you do while drinking. As to cronic recovery- all alcoholic are in cronic recovery and it makes the life of those who live with them unique from a normal life. Some people need AA throughout there life. My H does. Some get sober and only need a few meetings. To me those are the healthest people. My opion only as an alanon who see much prejudice in the preogram against'normal' peole . dax
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
Today, I work on me.
Well Magic,
I wrote a proposal to a new venture that's started in our community that I want to be a part of and today I'm taking it up there to see if I can work for them.
Working on finishing my script for inclusion in my last set of assigments for the course I'm taking. Spending time alone with my thoughts and considering just how I'm going to assist this guy in getting the name of his venture out, and how I am going to do that.
Yes, she is on my mind, but I'm not focusing on it. I'm letting her rant and rave all she wants and play her twenty-four hour trip. I never get these. She starts at ten at night and the next day it's twenty four hours, but that "one" keeps it from ever getting into a "real" 24 hours. Just her concept of one day. Meaning she went to sleep without a drink and will wait a couple of hours in the morning before breaking down and saying, "I just got to get the sick off."
But that's funny to me.
Not something that makes me mad. Just crazy. I let it go today. No dwelling. Just taking today to do more for me. Where I gotta go. What I gotta do.
Oh, y'all are right. I 'm going to ask for a salary! Shoot. If I have to be in the office everyday and work just as hard as she does to make this business run. then I should be paid!
I mean heck, I may have to deal with her ******** at home, cause I'm her husband, but at work, if I have to to go through the same type of thing then dammit you gotta pay me to be there. I am not going to sit there and be abused and then can't even pay my bills... till I ask for the money.
That's bull! And I have let it go on long. Much too long. But then I know she's going to have a problem with it. But it's only fair. We made this compnay together. I deserve to be reaping the rewards in my pocket too!
Here I go again huh? Okay. But that's a plan. Now, I just have tell the little tyrant.
I wrote a proposal to a new venture that's started in our community that I want to be a part of and today I'm taking it up there to see if I can work for them.
Working on finishing my script for inclusion in my last set of assigments for the course I'm taking. Spending time alone with my thoughts and considering just how I'm going to assist this guy in getting the name of his venture out, and how I am going to do that.
Yes, she is on my mind, but I'm not focusing on it. I'm letting her rant and rave all she wants and play her twenty-four hour trip. I never get these. She starts at ten at night and the next day it's twenty four hours, but that "one" keeps it from ever getting into a "real" 24 hours. Just her concept of one day. Meaning she went to sleep without a drink and will wait a couple of hours in the morning before breaking down and saying, "I just got to get the sick off."
But that's funny to me.
Not something that makes me mad. Just crazy. I let it go today. No dwelling. Just taking today to do more for me. Where I gotta go. What I gotta do.Oh, y'all are right. I 'm going to ask for a salary! Shoot. If I have to be in the office everyday and work just as hard as she does to make this business run. then I should be paid!
I mean heck, I may have to deal with her ******** at home, cause I'm her husband, but at work, if I have to to go through the same type of thing then dammit you gotta pay me to be there. I am not going to sit there and be abused and then can't even pay my bills... till I ask for the money.
That's bull! And I have let it go on long. Much too long. But then I know she's going to have a problem with it. But it's only fair. We made this compnay together. I deserve to be reaping the rewards in my pocket too!
Here I go again huh? Okay. But that's a plan. Now, I just have tell the little tyrant.
Have a good day. Sounds like you are planning to take care of you. You are worth it! Hugs, Magic
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: LOS ANGELES, CALIFORNIA
Posts: 1
recovery
I have a friend who went to BT and it seems to be a really good place for recovery. He was in and out of recovery and finally has been sober 2yrs. I've seen a huge change in him since BT. Alanon ftf meetings really helped me focus on myself and not be so obsessed with his recovery. I hope you find recovery for yourself as well; as hard as that is you deserve it!
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Join Date: Jun 2004
Location: Reaching for the Rainbow
Posts: 45
Thanks! Thank you...
thank you all!
It gets so hard sometime, but at the same time when you let it go,
it seems (or feels) easier.
Thank God, I found this place, and that's another gratitude to share. So much so, I've been thinking of actually finding an Allanon somewhere here. Wish I could tell you where, but the "honey" might figure it out, if she hasn't already and clammed up with the rest of you.
She knows I'm here, but not as who. And I'm okay with me enough to step back if it meant she'd leave, and lose out on all this. I think even knowing that I am, and that I like this place, has slowed her posting some what.
But the anonimity is a blessing.
Naw! I'd never leave!
thank you all!
It gets so hard sometime, but at the same time when you let it go,
it seems (or feels) easier.
Thank God, I found this place, and that's another gratitude to share. So much so, I've been thinking of actually finding an Allanon somewhere here. Wish I could tell you where, but the "honey" might figure it out, if she hasn't already and clammed up with the rest of you.
She knows I'm here, but not as who. And I'm okay with me enough to step back if it meant she'd leave, and lose out on all this. I think even knowing that I am, and that I like this place, has slowed her posting some what.
But the anonimity is a blessing.
Naw! I'd never leave!
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