countingdays

Thank God we didn't have any beer in the fridge of I would be back at day 1 tomorrow. Feeling blah and bored to tears yet have no energy to do anything about it. Depression I guess or maybe just plain laziness mixed with fear of everything which keeps me stuck. Feeling resentful and even a little jealous of my husband as he sips his wine contentedly. Why can't I allow myself to just relax without the aid of alcohol? Life feels like such a monotonous grind and my stupid AV is trying to convince me that a drink will make it all better or at least more palatable when in actuality a drink will equal disappointment, self loathing and anxiety at a minimum. I feel like I'm darned if I do and darned if I don't right now. Just venting....thanks for listening.

Leana

Good for you, 5 weeks! I understand everything you said because I felt almost exactly the same way. But don't drink, you'll hate how you feel in the morning. Stay strong. Good luck

Dee74

yeah it's hard. We get it

If you think you might be depressed, it's always worth seeing a Dr.

If you feel you're just unmotivated, maybe it's time to look at stepping up your recovery in some way.

I know doing something is the last thing you want to do, but it's often the best thing to do in these kinds of low points.

D

Anna

It's hard, for sure.

But, you will learn to deal with life in a healthy way. You will be present in your life and it will be worth the effort.

Flying4Life

Glad you are posting countingdays! It is a great start to changing your behaviour. You will learn to relax naturally in time. Keep going, you are doing great, 5 weeks is a real accomplishment!

countingdays

Had an apple and urge has passed. Think I will make a to do list to keep me moving forward. Need to make some important work related changes that must happen but simply will not be possible without sobriety. Thanks again for being there. I've read that a relapse begins days before the actual drink....I feel I'm at that fork in the road and I need to choose the sober road and actively focus on my recovery to ensure that is the only option.

Gottalife

Sounds like untreated alcoholism. For folks like me, just not drinking doesn't treat my alcoholism, it seems to bring it out.