NorCal1970

Hey all,

I met my current girlfriend back in August. Her and I both like to drink. The two of us together ended up being gas on the fire. I stopped 7 days ago and feel really good about my decision. She came along for the ride until this past Friday. On that night we were texting and she had commented that it had been along time since she had not drank for 3 days and that she wanted to "keep it going". She later admitted to me that she had been at the bar earlier that night drinking.

I do not expect her to make an effort to become sober just because I am. I know that is something that she needs to come to on her own. To be honest, without the drinking, it seems to me that there is something missing between us. The fact that she lied to me about her drinking is a sign that she has a problem.

I am thinking that I need to break it off with her to protect my own sobriety. I cannot go back to the way it was. I WILL NOT go back to the way it was. Any advice is appreciated as always. No candy coating needed.

Thepatman

If she is in the way of your sobriety... The curb I say.

Anna

If you have a gut feeling that this will not work for you, then go with that,

And, be proud of your determination to recover.

DoubleDragons

I would continue with your sobriety. If you think her drinking will be a hindrance to your sobriety, then I would cut bait. Otherwise, you might be surprised to see that when she sees how good sobriety is for you, she might follow suit. My husband does not have a drinking problem. He may drink a few beers when watching a game on the weekend, but that is about it. However, now that I have quit, he hardly drinks at all. I think he actually drank more before to help "put up" with my drinking. Only you know how the both of you influence each other. I made it very clear to my husband, that my quitting was about me and I had no judgment about him continuing to drink alcohol. I just asked that he not bring wine into the house. (beer and hard liquor are of no interest to me, red wine was my drug of choice) Maybe your girlfriend is feeling coerced into joining in sobriety with you and that is why she lied?!?

least

It's difficult, but not impossible, to quit drinking when your partner doesn't. Only you know how you feel deep down about this relationship. If she doesn't want to support you, that's another matter. I'd listen to your instincts on this one.

Gilmer

If she won't quit, leave her now, before you two get even more attached.

NorCal1970

I had her over for dinner last night, first time I've seen her since the fog wore off. It was awkward to say the least, almost like a first date. It made me realize how much of our relationship was constructed around drinking. To be honest I really don't have the energy to pursue a relationship right now. I am determined to stay sober and am content on that being my only focus right now.

advbike

Way to go brother. Lot of women like to drink I've found, and I let it trip me up for years cause, well, you know. Finally figured out sobriety was more important. My next partner will hopefully be a non-drinker, or only when out socially and not at home. I can't deal with it in front of me every night, plus the shift in attitude they get.

Leana

I quit and my husband didn't. It can be done. But we were married for 22 years at the time. Do you see a future with this woman? If not, then I think you know what you have to do.