The term "relapse"
The term "relapse"
I have never really liked the term "relapse." I have been trying to quit for about a year now. Every time I went back to drinking, it wasn't an action that was out of my control. It was an active decision that I made because I wanted to get drunk.
Right now, I don't want to get drunk because I know I don't like being drunk. And I sure as hell don't like being hungover. I would like to make this a permanent decision, and I'm still working on that ("forever" has always been difficult for me ). But if I were to go back to drinking (I don't want to go back to drinking, just to make that clear), it wouldn't be a "relapse," it would be an active decision on my part. It would be a poor decision. But it wouldn't be a decision beyond my control.
Perhaps I am in the minority. But that was just a thought that came into my head.
Right now, I don't want to get drunk because I know I don't like being drunk. And I sure as hell don't like being hungover. I would like to make this a permanent decision, and I'm still working on that ("forever" has always been difficult for me ). But if I were to go back to drinking (I don't want to go back to drinking, just to make that clear), it wouldn't be a "relapse," it would be an active decision on my part. It would be a poor decision. But it wouldn't be a decision beyond my control.
Perhaps I am in the minority. But that was just a thought that came into my head.
I personally feel that drinking any amount willingly as a sober person is a breach of your sobriety. What you call it is irrelevant, as long as you realize that you need to figure out a way to keep it from happening again.
I completely agree. I just like to take responsibility for my actions rather than chalking it up to "I can't help myself. I'm hopeless and helpless. Poor pitiful me."
How we deal with drinking is up to us, and we are all different. Worrying about how others deal with it is not helpful to anyone in my humble opinion.
One thing that helps me with this is the philosophy "I'd rather think than drink." Because what I hate about alcohol most is it robs me of my brain and turns me into more or less a zombie.
And the OP is what I think about the term relapse in reference to drugs / alcohol. The disease model works for millions, I understand that. But it doesn't work for me.
And the OP is what I think about the term relapse in reference to drugs / alcohol. The disease model works for millions, I understand that. But it doesn't work for me.
For me, the disease model is valid insofar as I believe there to be a genetic component that makes one person an addict, whereas a similar person could do the same thing and not become one.
I also believe that once physical addiction occurs, the disease model is legitimate, as it follows a similar predictability in terms of decline, health issues, and other effects. In this way, I believe it is a disease very similarly to diabetes. It is partly dependent on the person who has the illness to contribute to it, but once it is full blown, you can fairly accurately spell out what will occur.
But in regards to the inability to stop a relapse because its a disease, well, as the alanons say, quack quack quack.
I also believe that once physical addiction occurs, the disease model is legitimate, as it follows a similar predictability in terms of decline, health issues, and other effects. In this way, I believe it is a disease very similarly to diabetes. It is partly dependent on the person who has the illness to contribute to it, but once it is full blown, you can fairly accurately spell out what will occur.
But in regards to the inability to stop a relapse because its a disease, well, as the alanons say, quack quack quack.
What's stopping you making it a permanent decision ?
For me only when i quit for good and another drink in my future seemed like a nightmare did things fall into place . one lifetime hardly seems short enough IMHO .
Seems to me by leaving the door open , you're leaving the door open .
Bestwishes, m
For me only when i quit for good and another drink in my future seemed like a nightmare did things fall into place . one lifetime hardly seems short enough IMHO .
Seems to me by leaving the door open , you're leaving the door open .
Bestwishes, m
I have never really liked the term "relapse." I have been trying to quit for about a year now. Every time I went back to drinking, it wasn't an action that was out of my control. It was an active decision that I made because I wanted to get drunk.
Right now, I don't want to get drunk because I know I don't like being drunk. And I sure as hell don't like being hungover. I would like to make this a permanent decision, and I'm still working on that ("forever" has always been difficult for me ). But if I were to go back to drinking (I don't want to go back to drinking, just to make that clear), it wouldn't be a "relapse," it would be an active decision on my part. It would be a poor decision. But it wouldn't be a decision beyond my control.
Perhaps I am in the minority. But that was just a thought that came into my head.
Right now, I don't want to get drunk because I know I don't like being drunk. And I sure as hell don't like being hungover. I would like to make this a permanent decision, and I'm still working on that ("forever" has always been difficult for me ). But if I were to go back to drinking (I don't want to go back to drinking, just to make that clear), it wouldn't be a "relapse," it would be an active decision on my part. It would be a poor decision. But it wouldn't be a decision beyond my control.
Perhaps I am in the minority. But that was just a thought that came into my head.
I certainly found it easier after making that decision , no matter how touch and go it seemed for the first few weeks .. But i know i'm different to most people by not seeing it as some kind of miracle juice anymore , all i see is the personal pain and sickness it caused me .. thus me stopping it , seemed so simple once i'd had enough of being sick and stressed out trying to keep it in my life, it made me giggle with relief and happiness when it occurred to me, as somehow i'd never realised i could just never have it again .
Bestwishes, m
Bestwishes, m
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
I found when I set sobriety in terms of a goal, then it became much easier to commit to the action (not drinking) that is required to reach the goal. And, the goal wasn't sobriety or quit drinking, the goal is to avoid the consequences of drinking and return my mind and body to full health.
For me, I couldn't will myself to make a decision anymore than I could will myself to not drink. I needed a goal with clear logical actions that needed to be taken.
Aside from the AA bashing, the stuff on addiction ambivalence and AV i.e. the "beast" is interesting.
It explains the concept of a big plan. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind is doable in the bigger context of Rational Recovery, because YOU aren't the one with the doubts. Thats addictive voice that creeps in. THAT voice will ALWAYS want you to drink.
So perhaps you can negotiate with it. You WILL drink again. On your 200th birthday.
If you havent read up on Rational recovery, I strongly suggest that you check it out.
Aside from the AA bashing, the stuff on addiction ambivalence and AV i.e. the "beast" is interesting.
It explains the concept of a big plan. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind is doable in the bigger context of Rational Recovery, because YOU aren't the one with the doubts. Thats addictive voice that creeps in. THAT voice will ALWAYS want you to drink.
So perhaps you can negotiate with it. You WILL drink again. On your 200th birthday.
Aside from the AA bashing, the stuff on addiction ambivalence and AV i.e. the "beast" is interesting.
It explains the concept of a big plan. I will never drink again and I will never change my mind is doable in the bigger context of Rational Recovery, because YOU aren't the one with the doubts. Thats addictive voice that creeps in. THAT voice will ALWAYS want you to drink.
So perhaps you can negotiate with it. You WILL drink again. On your 200th birthday.
I drink because I want to get drunk. I'm an alcoholic. There is no having a couple and stopping. I'd prefer to not be trapped in that cycle. So I won't drink again.
Living sober sucks (kinda at times). But living drunk sucks more.
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