What I did for me (& DD) this weekend
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
What I did for me (& DD) this weekend
1st - his update:
Yes, RAH is still behind bars. Yes, he is scrambling for ways to find a resolution. I did end up passing on the news of his incarceration to his brother as he asked - but that was more for his bro than him. Since Bro was having his own issues & had been leaning on RAH I thought it considerate to let him know why RAH was no longer answering his calls/texts. Turns out he had caught his wife cheating on him just before I called so I ended up counseling him long distance & advised him to find someone there to lean on because I could tell he was in shock. They've been together nearly 20 yrs, he's the LAST guy to deserve this kind of treatment.
I also spoke with 3 of his closest friends & found them as horrified as me about his behaviors. I had a smidge of comfort in realizing he's been isolating himself away from everyone in his dysfunction, not just me. Weird thing to feel good about.
So DD & I took care of US this weekend. My GF & her DD spent the night with us on Friday, we had a slumber party & pizza & looked through the Black Friday preview ads I had printed off earlier this week.
On Saturday I took DD dress shopping (her favorite thing ever, except for shoe shopping) for the holiday pics she & my niece & nephew were having done on Sunday. Found the perfect dress at a thrift shop & then continued hunting until we had found a little of everything on her "need" list for winter - uniform pants for school (she wears shorts until the weather turns), a new jacket (found 2), yoga pants/loungewear for home (found 5 or so), 2 extra dresses, a pair of shoes for playing dress up & 2 purses for me. All total less than $45. After we ended up at Kohl's and found a 2nd dress option that could also work (hard to match the other kids without them there), new socks & undies & the last pieces I needed to finish off a baby gift for one of my BFF's. Score! Wasn't expecting to get so much done. The 1st dress worked better but I told her she could keep both - seriously, she deserves this - straight A student every single quarter since KDG, role model/leader for her classmates, I am bombarded with compliments on her from teachers, friends, her friends' parents & she is handling this like a champ.
Saturday night was another slumber party as my sis's water system decided to crap out. She & the kids & my BFF & her DD. It's sis' bday today so we celebrated a bit, cupcakes! Pedicures for the girls since we decided to do barefoot pics.
Sunday we got the kids' pics done as a gift for Grandma - they came out amazing. Took DD to lunch at her favorite place then spent the evening working - her on homework & reading, me on budgets & figuring out exactly where I stand.
Cleaned up some of the mess outside for my own peace of mind, reached out to RAH's friends for help in determining what to do about his trailers, tools, etc. that are all over my property. They are coming over today while I am at work to tidy it up & try to keep me from being a target for vandals since I "don't know what I don't know" about what I am facing here. They will also get locks for all the gates (we have 3 gates/1 acre fenced in) & put up No Trespassing Signs so that I have a bit more minor security just in case. If push comes to shove they can collectively help me figure out what RAH's music equipment & tools are worth & take care of selling it so I don't get jacked.
DD has asked (& I agreed) to take her to my Wed night rieki healing circle this week. We talked about keeping ourselves healthy physically & mentally & controlling the things we CAN control like not falling behind in school. At the same time I told her it was OK to feel sad/angry/scared or whatever & OK to let that bubble up & be dealt with. Healthy doesn't mean we never cry, healthy means we learn to not stuff that feeling away when it bubbles up. I told her if she wanted to speak to a school counselor, teacher, friend - whoever, just let me know & I would set up whatever she needed.
And now it's Monday - back to routine.
Yes, RAH is still behind bars. Yes, he is scrambling for ways to find a resolution. I did end up passing on the news of his incarceration to his brother as he asked - but that was more for his bro than him. Since Bro was having his own issues & had been leaning on RAH I thought it considerate to let him know why RAH was no longer answering his calls/texts. Turns out he had caught his wife cheating on him just before I called so I ended up counseling him long distance & advised him to find someone there to lean on because I could tell he was in shock. They've been together nearly 20 yrs, he's the LAST guy to deserve this kind of treatment.
I also spoke with 3 of his closest friends & found them as horrified as me about his behaviors. I had a smidge of comfort in realizing he's been isolating himself away from everyone in his dysfunction, not just me. Weird thing to feel good about.
So DD & I took care of US this weekend. My GF & her DD spent the night with us on Friday, we had a slumber party & pizza & looked through the Black Friday preview ads I had printed off earlier this week.
On Saturday I took DD dress shopping (her favorite thing ever, except for shoe shopping) for the holiday pics she & my niece & nephew were having done on Sunday. Found the perfect dress at a thrift shop & then continued hunting until we had found a little of everything on her "need" list for winter - uniform pants for school (she wears shorts until the weather turns), a new jacket (found 2), yoga pants/loungewear for home (found 5 or so), 2 extra dresses, a pair of shoes for playing dress up & 2 purses for me. All total less than $45. After we ended up at Kohl's and found a 2nd dress option that could also work (hard to match the other kids without them there), new socks & undies & the last pieces I needed to finish off a baby gift for one of my BFF's. Score! Wasn't expecting to get so much done. The 1st dress worked better but I told her she could keep both - seriously, she deserves this - straight A student every single quarter since KDG, role model/leader for her classmates, I am bombarded with compliments on her from teachers, friends, her friends' parents & she is handling this like a champ.
Saturday night was another slumber party as my sis's water system decided to crap out. She & the kids & my BFF & her DD. It's sis' bday today so we celebrated a bit, cupcakes! Pedicures for the girls since we decided to do barefoot pics.
Sunday we got the kids' pics done as a gift for Grandma - they came out amazing. Took DD to lunch at her favorite place then spent the evening working - her on homework & reading, me on budgets & figuring out exactly where I stand.
Cleaned up some of the mess outside for my own peace of mind, reached out to RAH's friends for help in determining what to do about his trailers, tools, etc. that are all over my property. They are coming over today while I am at work to tidy it up & try to keep me from being a target for vandals since I "don't know what I don't know" about what I am facing here. They will also get locks for all the gates (we have 3 gates/1 acre fenced in) & put up No Trespassing Signs so that I have a bit more minor security just in case. If push comes to shove they can collectively help me figure out what RAH's music equipment & tools are worth & take care of selling it so I don't get jacked.
DD has asked (& I agreed) to take her to my Wed night rieki healing circle this week. We talked about keeping ourselves healthy physically & mentally & controlling the things we CAN control like not falling behind in school. At the same time I told her it was OK to feel sad/angry/scared or whatever & OK to let that bubble up & be dealt with. Healthy doesn't mean we never cry, healthy means we learn to not stuff that feeling away when it bubbles up. I told her if she wanted to speak to a school counselor, teacher, friend - whoever, just let me know & I would set up whatever she needed.
And now it's Monday - back to routine.
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Join Date: May 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 13,560
FS...Just food for thought. I ordered fake ADT home security signs from amazon for $27. It came w/the sign and 5 window stickers. I don't have ADT but no one else has to know that LOL. Those construction trailers and tools are a hot item around here and stolen all the time (I work in the insurance field).
Just food for thought.
Just food for thought.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,780
Good idea - luckily we already have some from when the house was being monitored. I only stopped that about a year ago when I had to make budget cutbacks so we have stickers & signs all over the windows & yard. We also have a security camera that no longer works but I left the cameras up around the property as a deterrent.
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