Piglet22

I was doing great for the past month, feeling so healthy and happy living a sober lifestyle. And then on Friday I had a client call that left me feeling extremely upset. She was hurtful, disrespectful and very condescending. In my mind I knew that what she was saying wasn't true, but I've always aimed to please and was shocked to be treated this way. Sure enough I turned to my old ways and spent that night and yesterday drinking my feelings away. I caught myself early and realized that was not someone I wanted to go back to. And I was upset with myself for allowing words that I knew weren't true allow me to disrespect myself by picking up that drink. So fortunately I stopped before I got out of hand. I'm nursing a bit of a hangover today, but luckily have wonderful support to get me through this setback.

I never want to treat myself that way again. And this may be the first time I've truly felt that. I used to think I was doing myself a favor by "allowing" myself to have a drink because of "x." I thought I deserved that drink. But now I realize I hurt myself by drinking - I should focus on allowing myself to feel the painful feelings, pick my head up and realize the wonderful person I am.

Just wanted to share. I'm on the right track, but I love the support I receive here and hope that my words can help someone else.

Dee74

welcome back Piglet

yeah, drinking at someone is one fo the most futile things we can do.

What were you doing to stay sober before this?

D

neferkamichael

Piglet22, day 1 again? You are FANTASTIC. Congratulation. Dust yourself off, and get back on your horse, it's all ya can do. Rootin for ya.

hellhammer

You came back !! Keep up!!

anchorbird

I also relapsed this past weekend, but I am back and I WILL NOT give up!

HeadLump

You realised what you were doing and you stopped, Piglet. That great! And then you had the guts and the compassion to post here about it. That's even greater!

goose333

Piglet,
I know how you feel and for me it's the easiest way I can fall off the wagon. Last week I was at my Mother in Law's and was asked to show her how to use a remote to get to the second, third, etc. movie on a DVD. She's 83 so it's like trying to teach it to your cat. After an hour, I wanted to shoot myself. When I got home if there was booze to drink, I would have run straight to it. But there wasn't and the feeling passed in an hour or so. It's so difficult at times.

Goose

trudgingagain

Welcome back Piglet and anchorbird! I often have to remember the acronym HALT. Don't let yourself get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.....For me, I find myself wanting to drink over frustration and resentment as well. Goose...trying to teach your 83 year old MIL the remote....hahaha! I can imagine how frustrating that might have been! I have always been a people pleaser as well, so there are many triggers to my drinking that now I have to learn how to FEEL, without picking up. Hang in there...you can do this! So glad you both are back! Me....day 35....

MIRecovery

My sponsor told me that it is none of my business what others think of me. The only person I have to answer to is me.

If I look at myself in the mirror and know that I've done the best I could do on any particular day then that is as good as it gets.

Welcome back and you learned an important lesson. Pick yourself up and get back on the sobriety life

least

Forgive yourself, learn from it, and move forward again.