wow...just wow
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wow...just wow
I haven't spoke to my ex but today got a barrage of texts about her right to see my kids..etc. she text that she has decided that she is NOT an alcoholic. ..but was using alcohol to deal with depression related to my insane/crazy behavior. Even through in she would not entertain the possibility of an us unless I got professional help. I was blown away. Detox on my son's first birthday...10 weeks of rehab....a felony dwi and history of drinking since she w as 13...but she isn't addicted. It truly is a cunning disease.
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Hi PattyG,
Have you looked at the thread about "Quacking?" This sounds like a whole lot of quacking to me. Texting makes it so easy for them to blast away. It must be upsetting, sorry to hear you have to deal with that.
~ B
Have you looked at the thread about "Quacking?" This sounds like a whole lot of quacking to me. Texting makes it so easy for them to blast away. It must be upsetting, sorry to hear you have to deal with that.
~ B
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Hawk...I actually blocked her number this morning...then had such anxiety about it...I unblocked it. I am now thinking after todays text maybe it is best. She has shown her hand so to speak. If I want to get over this and ever move on.. I have to start somewhere.
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Thanks B. I know it is total BS...and I heard others post similar statements on here...it just shocked me still the same. How do you convince your mind that your fantasy is just that? Not real? I am trying and actually having her justify her drinking with such crap keeps me in check.
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Originally Posted by pattyG 
I haven't spoke to my ex but today got a barrage of texts about her right to see my kids..etc. she text that she has decided that she is NOT an alcoholic. ..but was using alcohol to deal with depression related to my insane/crazy behavior. Even through in she would not entertain the possibility of an us unless I got professional help. I was blown away. Detox on my son's first birthday...10 weeks of rehab....a felony dwi and history of drinking since she w as 13...but she isn't addicted. It truly is a cunning disease.
Did not we first meet on the Mental Health Board?
She fully understands what she "has."
As did (and do, right?) you.
It is completely in there.
Just change the owner of the "my" pronoun, and she has it, but must project it on you.
"but was using alcohol to deal with depression related to my insane/crazy behavior."
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Hi patty;
I understand your anxiety but the texts are hurting you and not helping either one of you. I think that BtheChange is right and this "quacking" and as Hammer says, her projection of her own issues.
You deserve peace in your own home and that includes your personal media, most especially in the evenings. Waking up to this is an invasion of privacy as far as I can see.
This reminds me of the obnoxious drunken telephone calls my mother used to make at night for years until she basically lost all of her friends and alienated her kids. People would just hang up on her. So maybe I'm projecting a bit here, but I remember so many times answering the phone thinking it was an emergency just to get screamed at and told how worthless I was. It didn't help our relationship in the long run, and until your X gets things under control a bit, do you think maybe No Contact might be the best option? At least for awhile? I can see between the lines that this is tearing you up and you have yourself and your kids to think of first. Hang in there.
I understand your anxiety but the texts are hurting you and not helping either one of you. I think that BtheChange is right and this "quacking" and as Hammer says, her projection of her own issues.
You deserve peace in your own home and that includes your personal media, most especially in the evenings. Waking up to this is an invasion of privacy as far as I can see.
This reminds me of the obnoxious drunken telephone calls my mother used to make at night for years until she basically lost all of her friends and alienated her kids. People would just hang up on her. So maybe I'm projecting a bit here, but I remember so many times answering the phone thinking it was an emergency just to get screamed at and told how worthless I was. It didn't help our relationship in the long run, and until your X gets things under control a bit, do you think maybe No Contact might be the best option? At least for awhile? I can see between the lines that this is tearing you up and you have yourself and your kids to think of first. Hang in there.
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Hawkeye..
I know you are right. I guess I wanted to wait until it "felt" right. (But really does it ever??) I blocked her before sleep last nite. Thought maybe it would help me sleep past 3am....sinve it seems the first thing I want to do is look at my phone to see if she texted or called. I decided that her letting me know I was the cause of all her problems (yeah right!) Was as good a time as any. After all....I made it clear my contact after court was to fix us and this family....not to gI've her free access to my kids. With her current statements....it makes no sense to keep the lines open.
It makes me sad....as much for myself as her. A few days ago I found a post I made on empowered recovery....an older site for those dealing with A's. I logged in and found a post I made 6 weeks after we met. Same dynamic....same chaos....the push/pull affection behavior. Of course....all there told me what they should of....run. End it. Now 5 years later I have the Crystal ball so to speak. And they were right. And I know if past history is predictive of future events mine and my kids lives will only get worse.
Hammer....yes..I believe she has BPD. I actually wonder sometimes if Ive developed it as well after 5 years of this chaos! I know it is in relation to her and a lot of it is gaslighting. It sucks to not trust your own feelings and thoughts anymore. Thabk God for my few friends who have stood by and can help me see the forrest through the trees. When I start to blame myself they remind me of instances and facts that help dispel that feeling.
I know you are right. I guess I wanted to wait until it "felt" right. (But really does it ever??) I blocked her before sleep last nite. Thought maybe it would help me sleep past 3am....sinve it seems the first thing I want to do is look at my phone to see if she texted or called. I decided that her letting me know I was the cause of all her problems (yeah right!) Was as good a time as any. After all....I made it clear my contact after court was to fix us and this family....not to gI've her free access to my kids. With her current statements....it makes no sense to keep the lines open.
It makes me sad....as much for myself as her. A few days ago I found a post I made on empowered recovery....an older site for those dealing with A's. I logged in and found a post I made 6 weeks after we met. Same dynamic....same chaos....the push/pull affection behavior. Of course....all there told me what they should of....run. End it. Now 5 years later I have the Crystal ball so to speak. And they were right. And I know if past history is predictive of future events mine and my kids lives will only get worse.
Hammer....yes..I believe she has BPD. I actually wonder sometimes if Ive developed it as well after 5 years of this chaos! I know it is in relation to her and a lot of it is gaslighting. It sucks to not trust your own feelings and thoughts anymore. Thabk God for my few friends who have stood by and can help me see the forrest through the trees. When I start to blame myself they remind me of instances and facts that help dispel that feeling.
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