had an amazing meeting.
Crazy Cat Lady
Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2011
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 2,661
had an amazing meeting.
well, i'm back in the saddle. my withdrawals weren't bad and i feel mostly put together again even though i'm just ending Day 2. i feel awful. i got drunk on my sponsor's sobriety birthday. my husband had to text her and tell her why i wasn't there to take her to dinner. i feel like such a selfish heel about that. i managed to drink every night for about 7 nights. sometimes during the day. sometimes one bottle of wine, sometimes two. i got so drunk on one night that i missed my husband telling me that he got a new job. i feel bad about all that but i'm letting it go because i'm back with a willingness i haven't felt in a long time.
so, i'm watching football today (the Auburn/Georgia game was a nail biting thrill) and i'm doing a great job of tuning the world out. nothing matters but the game. after the game, i realize i need to go to the grocery store (alone). i look at the time. it's almost 8. then something hits me. i need to get to my group's 8:30 meeting. not just need, but want. like once the thought was in my head i knew i was going. my husband's cool (we ate a late lunch) and off i go!
it was a topic meeting. i saw several people there i know pretty well. the topic was about living by spiritual principles. i heard one girl talk and it was amazing. she was in my head! and then it hit me. i gotta keep coming back consistently. when i'm out in the world, my head is full of material matters. i need to do this and this and that and take care of that. boom boom boom! i get obsessive and distracted and suddenly, doing the laundry is more important than a meeting or step work. because, you know, i just HAVE to do it!
but i don't. i really don't. i'm lucky that i have a husband who wants me to put my sobriety first. and when i go to meetings, i feel sane. i feel connected. these are my people. these people are my first spiritual connection. they speak, i listen, i learn, i thirst for more. i speak, i share and i feel relief. understanding. these are my comrades. and if i keep going, i will learn more. and one day, i will have it inside me. i'll be able to find peace within myself instead of getting it through other people. and then, i will be able to share with other people on how to find that peace. i don't know why it all made sense tonight. i just really related and learned and i got excited again. i've got a 10AM meeting tomorrow that i'm itching to get to. i want to sleep outside the door, waiting for the meeting. i haven't been this excited about sobriety in a long time. hope has blossomed in my heart and i think my head is finally in the game as well. i just wanted to share my experience with y'all.
i don't know what made me so intent on going tonight. i'd planned to stay in. but i'll tell you this, it wasn't me. i'm lazy and selfish. i wanted to go to the store and make dinner. something came over me and i found myself where i needed to be when i needed to be there with the people i needed to hear. for you who attend meetings, remember that the meeting you blow off could be the meeting where you need to hear someone or someone needs to hear you. you never no unless you go.
i got a meeting tomorrow, a commitment to a woman i just met to meet her at the 7PM meeting Monday and a Tuesday meeting i love...i just feel alive again and it feels good. it feels amazing. Day 2 was a good day. Day 3 will be even better and that i believe.
so, i'm watching football today (the Auburn/Georgia game was a nail biting thrill) and i'm doing a great job of tuning the world out. nothing matters but the game. after the game, i realize i need to go to the grocery store (alone). i look at the time. it's almost 8. then something hits me. i need to get to my group's 8:30 meeting. not just need, but want. like once the thought was in my head i knew i was going. my husband's cool (we ate a late lunch) and off i go!
it was a topic meeting. i saw several people there i know pretty well. the topic was about living by spiritual principles. i heard one girl talk and it was amazing. she was in my head! and then it hit me. i gotta keep coming back consistently. when i'm out in the world, my head is full of material matters. i need to do this and this and that and take care of that. boom boom boom! i get obsessive and distracted and suddenly, doing the laundry is more important than a meeting or step work. because, you know, i just HAVE to do it!
but i don't. i really don't. i'm lucky that i have a husband who wants me to put my sobriety first. and when i go to meetings, i feel sane. i feel connected. these are my people. these people are my first spiritual connection. they speak, i listen, i learn, i thirst for more. i speak, i share and i feel relief. understanding. these are my comrades. and if i keep going, i will learn more. and one day, i will have it inside me. i'll be able to find peace within myself instead of getting it through other people. and then, i will be able to share with other people on how to find that peace. i don't know why it all made sense tonight. i just really related and learned and i got excited again. i've got a 10AM meeting tomorrow that i'm itching to get to. i want to sleep outside the door, waiting for the meeting. i haven't been this excited about sobriety in a long time. hope has blossomed in my heart and i think my head is finally in the game as well. i just wanted to share my experience with y'all.
i don't know what made me so intent on going tonight. i'd planned to stay in. but i'll tell you this, it wasn't me. i'm lazy and selfish. i wanted to go to the store and make dinner. something came over me and i found myself where i needed to be when i needed to be there with the people i needed to hear. for you who attend meetings, remember that the meeting you blow off could be the meeting where you need to hear someone or someone needs to hear you. you never no unless you go.
i got a meeting tomorrow, a commitment to a woman i just met to meet her at the 7PM meeting Monday and a Tuesday meeting i love...i just feel alive again and it feels good. it feels amazing. Day 2 was a good day. Day 3 will be even better and that i believe.
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