Divorced from xh for two months and he is engaged.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 150
Divor
Just needed to talk to people who would understand.
My ex husband, we've been divorced for two months now, separated for six. He just announced to all that he is engaged to another and has moved in with her.
None of my friends or family want anything to do with him because of the emotional and verbal abuse nightmare he subjected me to, and yet none of them are surprised that another victim has signed up to be his punching bag.
Am I surprised? Yes and no. I was the only woman out of countless women in eight years since his last divorce who was stupid enough to marry him. When I called it quits and threw him out, I hoped he would eventually come to some sort of realization of how he hurt me and the kids, get some help and get better. That didn't happen, and it never will. I've finally reached acceptance.
How do I feel about her? I can't imagine any woman would be ok becoming engaged to a man who has been married three times and divorced for two months. We know here on this board, the neediness, the clingyness, the suspicion and threats. Once we married, it escalated to an unbelieveable level.
She has no idea what she's in for. In this case, I can't help but feel sorry for her. God bless her, she's gonna need all the help she can get. Wife number four.
He's a nightmare. And I no longer love him in any way, shape or form. I don't even hate him. I feel nothing.
My ex husband, we've been divorced for two months now, separated for six. He just announced to all that he is engaged to another and has moved in with her.
None of my friends or family want anything to do with him because of the emotional and verbal abuse nightmare he subjected me to, and yet none of them are surprised that another victim has signed up to be his punching bag.
Am I surprised? Yes and no. I was the only woman out of countless women in eight years since his last divorce who was stupid enough to marry him. When I called it quits and threw him out, I hoped he would eventually come to some sort of realization of how he hurt me and the kids, get some help and get better. That didn't happen, and it never will. I've finally reached acceptance.
How do I feel about her? I can't imagine any woman would be ok becoming engaged to a man who has been married three times and divorced for two months. We know here on this board, the neediness, the clingyness, the suspicion and threats. Once we married, it escalated to an unbelieveable level.
She has no idea what she's in for. In this case, I can't help but feel sorry for her. God bless her, she's gonna need all the help she can get. Wife number four.
He's a nightmare. And I no longer love him in any way, shape or form. I don't even hate him. I feel nothing.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 150
Divorced from xh for two months and he is engaged.
Just needed to talk to people who would understand.
My ex husband, we've been divorced for two months now, separated for six. He just announced to all that he is engaged to another and has moved in with her.
None of my friends or family want anything to do with him because of the emotional and verbal abuse nightmare he subjected me to, and yet none of them are surprised that another victim has signed up to be his punching bag.
Am I surprised? Yes and no. I was the only woman out of countless women in eight years since his last divorce who was stupid enough to marry him. When I called it quits and threw him out, I hoped he would eventually come to some sort of realization of how he hurt me and the kids, get some help and get better. That didn't happen, and it never will. I've finally reached acceptance.
How do I feel about her? I can't imagine any woman would be ok becoming engaged to a man who has been married three times and divorced for two months. We know here on this board, the neediness, the clingyness, the suspicion and threats. Once we married, it escalated to an unbelieveable level.
She has no idea what she's in for. In this case, I can't help but feel sorry for her. God bless her, she's gonna need all the help she can get. Wife number four.
He's a nightmare. And I no longer love him in any way, shape or form. I don't even hate him. I feel nothing.
My ex husband, we've been divorced for two months now, separated for six. He just announced to all that he is engaged to another and has moved in with her.
None of my friends or family want anything to do with him because of the emotional and verbal abuse nightmare he subjected me to, and yet none of them are surprised that another victim has signed up to be his punching bag.
Am I surprised? Yes and no. I was the only woman out of countless women in eight years since his last divorce who was stupid enough to marry him. When I called it quits and threw him out, I hoped he would eventually come to some sort of realization of how he hurt me and the kids, get some help and get better. That didn't happen, and it never will. I've finally reached acceptance.
How do I feel about her? I can't imagine any woman would be ok becoming engaged to a man who has been married three times and divorced for two months. We know here on this board, the neediness, the clingyness, the suspicion and threats. Once we married, it escalated to an unbelieveable level.
She has no idea what she's in for. In this case, I can't help but feel sorry for her. God bless her, she's gonna need all the help she can get. Wife number four.
He's a nightmare. And I no longer love him in any way, shape or form. I don't even hate him. I feel nothing.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2012
Posts: 1,452
You are so right. I am so glad you are out of that marriage. There is life after the kind of death that that kind of marriage can bring to your soul.
Many many years ago, I dated a man who on the surface looked a wonderful, caring, successful, fabulous man. The only trouble was that beneath the surface, he had hidden flaws that were mind boggling. Yet he was so enticing. I un-enticed myself and ended the short relationship.
A friend of mind, glad that I did so, said she thought this man should be required to wear a sign around his neck at all times that said "TOXIC".
Maybe we can find that sign and give it out to the some of the spouses and partners that are being described on this Board in the last few days, yours among them.
ShootingStar1
Many many years ago, I dated a man who on the surface looked a wonderful, caring, successful, fabulous man. The only trouble was that beneath the surface, he had hidden flaws that were mind boggling. Yet he was so enticing. I un-enticed myself and ended the short relationship.
A friend of mind, glad that I did so, said she thought this man should be required to wear a sign around his neck at all times that said "TOXIC".
Maybe we can find that sign and give it out to the some of the spouses and partners that are being described on this Board in the last few days, yours among them.
ShootingStar1
Member
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 1,618
I feel sorry for my Ex's ne GF. I can relate to that.
Just this Thursday she opened the door when I went to pick up the kids with a black eye. She says she got in a fight with her sister. The poor thing. My daughter says that her dad calls his GF fat and ugly when they fight. He is just doing the same things to her that he did to me.
I can imagine what your EX's new wife is thinking. Your ex probably demonizes you. Shifts all of the blame onto you and claims to have done nothing wrong.
I'm sorry that he hurt you. I'm glad that you got away.
hugs,
Lily
Just this Thursday she opened the door when I went to pick up the kids with a black eye. She says she got in a fight with her sister. The poor thing. My daughter says that her dad calls his GF fat and ugly when they fight. He is just doing the same things to her that he did to me.
I can imagine what your EX's new wife is thinking. Your ex probably demonizes you. Shifts all of the blame onto you and claims to have done nothing wrong.
I'm sorry that he hurt you. I'm glad that you got away.
hugs,
Lily
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Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: right here, right now
Posts: 6,516
Babe, if he's anything like my ex, you just hit the jackpot. The periods when my ex has been dating - especially the period when he was dating seriously and talking engagement - were the periods when he was the calmest and most agreeable. It's like they have someone else to manipulate and boss around, they can leave you alone... I think you're 100 percent right that this woman is in for a nightmare. Engaged after two Months makes me wonder if she's an addict too - or if they were dating before your divorce became final. Either way, yay for you! He's less likely to bother you.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 232
It's sad that there is another 'sucker' ready and willing to get 'sucked' into the madness that your ex, and others like him, will put them through.
It's like the line that can never be long enough.
It's worse when kids are involved. They see how daddy (and also mommy) treat the other like crap and for them, it may be the only role model they have to base their behavior off of.
And so it continues to be a breeding ground for an unending cycle of manipulators and victims.
Throw yourself into you and your kids, and nurture the living the snot out of the little ones.
Repeat to them as often as possible: you will always love them, you will never leave them, and they can always talk to you about anything.
God made those promises to you, so give it to your kids, too. And honor those promises at all costs.
You and your family are in my prayers.
It's like the line that can never be long enough.
It's worse when kids are involved. They see how daddy (and also mommy) treat the other like crap and for them, it may be the only role model they have to base their behavior off of.
And so it continues to be a breeding ground for an unending cycle of manipulators and victims.
Throw yourself into you and your kids, and nurture the living the snot out of the little ones.
Repeat to them as often as possible: you will always love them, you will never leave them, and they can always talk to you about anything.
God made those promises to you, so give it to your kids, too. And honor those promises at all costs.
You and your family are in my prayers.
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 1,826
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Good for you that you feel that way. Not worth it to be pining over him.
QUOTE=love4menotu;4295462]Just needed to talk to people who would understand.
My ex husband, we've been divorced for two months now, separated for six. He just announced to all that he is engaged to another and has moved in with her.
None of my friends or family want anything to do with him because of the emotional and verbal abuse nightmare he subjected me to, and yet none of them are surprised that another victim has signed up to be his punching bag.
Am I surprised? Yes and no. I was the only woman out of countless women in eight years since his last divorce who was stupid enough to marry him. When I called it quits and threw him out, I hoped he would eventually come to some sort of realization of how he hurt me and the kids, get some help and get better. That didn't happen, and it never will. I've finally reached acceptance.
How do I feel about her? I can't imagine any woman would be ok becoming engaged to a man who has been married three times and divorced for two months. We know here on this board, the neediness, the clingyness, the suspicion and threats. Once we married, it escalated to an unbelieveable level.
She has no idea what she's in for. In this case, I can't help but feel sorry for her. God bless her, she's gonna need all the help she can get. Wife number four.
He's a nightmare. And I no longer love him in any way, shape or form. I don't even hate him. I feel nothing.[/QUOTE]
Good for you that you feel that way. Not worth it to be pining over him.
QUOTE=love4menotu;4295462]Just needed to talk to people who would understand.
My ex husband, we've been divorced for two months now, separated for six. He just announced to all that he is engaged to another and has moved in with her.
None of my friends or family want anything to do with him because of the emotional and verbal abuse nightmare he subjected me to, and yet none of them are surprised that another victim has signed up to be his punching bag.
Am I surprised? Yes and no. I was the only woman out of countless women in eight years since his last divorce who was stupid enough to marry him. When I called it quits and threw him out, I hoped he would eventually come to some sort of realization of how he hurt me and the kids, get some help and get better. That didn't happen, and it never will. I've finally reached acceptance.
How do I feel about her? I can't imagine any woman would be ok becoming engaged to a man who has been married three times and divorced for two months. We know here on this board, the neediness, the clingyness, the suspicion and threats. Once we married, it escalated to an unbelieveable level.
She has no idea what she's in for. In this case, I can't help but feel sorry for her. God bless her, she's gonna need all the help she can get. Wife number four.
He's a nightmare. And I no longer love him in any way, shape or form. I don't even hate him. I feel nothing.[/QUOTE]
Member
Join Date: Apr 2013
Posts: 494
I was thrilled when my ex starting dating women he met on a dating website. He instantly got serious and started talking marriage with one (that relationship lasted a couple of months) and then another.
The second GF actually moved herself and her young teenage son in with him - I felt so bad for that kid. She was a drinker of course but I felt sorry for her, knowing what he's like. She tried to be a real couple with him, sent our kids gift cards for their birthdays, and so forth. She and her son were gone in less than a year and guess what? Now that he has no GF, has lost his job and will likely soon lose his house -- making it a bit difficult to score on the dating scene -- he wants me to take him back. Sends me emails calling me cold hearted, selfish, etc. because I won't let him move back into the house. Hellooo, we are DIVORCED?
The second GF actually moved herself and her young teenage son in with him - I felt so bad for that kid. She was a drinker of course but I felt sorry for her, knowing what he's like. She tried to be a real couple with him, sent our kids gift cards for their birthdays, and so forth. She and her son were gone in less than a year and guess what? Now that he has no GF, has lost his job and will likely soon lose his house -- making it a bit difficult to score on the dating scene -- he wants me to take him back. Sends me emails calling me cold hearted, selfish, etc. because I won't let him move back into the house. Hellooo, we are DIVORCED?
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