redheadedmama

I am a Christian wife and a mother of two. My husband is an addict. The back story to my husband is that before he met me he was addicted to meth, weed, alcohol, and pretty much anything else he could get his hands on. About 6 months before I met him he went into the new life recovery program and was radically changed through the power of God. When I met my husband he was great I met him at work the first day I started working there and it was on, we flirted back and forth for awhile until we decided to go on a date. He asked me to marry him and I said yes (mind you I had never seen him under the influence on anything) So then he had a bachelor party at a bowling alley (which moved into the bar) and he got drunk. Then it progressed. After we got married and I got pregnant and ever since then he has been smoking pot until he passes out, drinks until he passes out, and I have found out that the has dabbled in some other drugs as well (meth included) I do not know what to do at this point, he doesn't think he has a problem, I have threatened him many times and I don't know what to do, his family, my family, and our friends have all talked to him and he isn't hearing any of us, I even called our pastor. I know marriage is supposed to be death till us part but geez, this is rough. I don't want to see my kids suffer through this, I just don't know how to make this stop, he seems to be smoking pot and drinking in the garage more than he is spending time with me and the kids. someone please help
-A

MeSoSober

How long has this been going on and for how long have you or others been actively trying to get him to stop?

I am really sorry you are going through this. It's such a tough situation. Maybe it's time to follow through on your threats, but if he's doing all you say, has been in one recovery program and still refuses to even acknowledge that he has a problem that does not bode well for him getting sober any time soon even if you threaten to leave him over it. Sounds like he's either in deep denial or knows he has a problem but is unwilling to address it.

You and your kids do deserve better.

There is also a forum here for loved ones of substance abusers. You can get support directly from others who've been in your shoes. Hugs to you.

Raider

Until he admits he has a problem. There is little you can do to facilitate that way of thinking. If you're going to threaten him, follow through or you will be little more than a talking head.

I wish you much luck.

least

to SR! For further insight take a look at our friends and family forums. But yes, until he realizes that he has a problem and wants to fix it, there's not much you can do. I'd recommend AlAnon for support for yourself. The question you have to ask yourself is "how much more of this behavior are you willing to tolerate?" And is it healthy for your kids to see this behavior?

redheadedmama

Thanks so much for the posts. This has been going on for about 2 years. Its hard to follow through on things because I don't want to lose my house or my things

dreamr

You can't make it stop, only he can. I'm a Christian too and I believe strongly in staying in a marriage, but you can honor a marriage without accepting that kind of behavior. I can't tell you what to do, but as long as he has no consequences for his actions, he has no motivation to change.

ClearLight

I hope you will post again in the Friends and Family forum.

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

I think you need to talk with others that are going through the same thing as you. You will find them in that forum.