helluvagalnva

This is my A's weekend to have the kids. This has never been a big deal before. My A didn't get home on Friday from work until 9:00pm had to work all day Saturday and TOLD me that he didn't care what i did for my LITTLE Mother's Day that he was keeping the kids since it was his weekend. First of all, I think he forgot that I have sole custody and that if I wanted to I could come get them whenever I wanted. He's been drunk all weekend also. I'm soooo pissed. It's a control thing. He hung up on me last night. What really bothers me is that he doesn't really give a damn about those kids.

He never calls them during the week and in between his weekends. He is plnning on going out of town next weekend and took off Friday and Saturday. If he was so concerned about his kids wouldn't he have taken off this Saturday to spend time with his kids knowing I would want to be with them on Mother's Day or gone out of town this weekend and hd them all next weekend? He always has to be the on ein control. He said I AM having them all weekend I don't care what you say or how you feel. Whenever I ask him questions it's always It's none of your business but he always expects me to answer his. I'm so angry. Just venting....He is so hateful lately. He is mking it easier for me to not like him and making me realize just what am ******* is really is.

Thanks for listening........
Happy Mother's Day!!!!!

Lots of hugs,
Galnva

Debbie

Hey Gal

If you think the kids are in danger then go get them with the help of a sherriff or the police. If they aren't in danger, try to enjoy your day which I know is easier said than done.

He is definitely trying to hurt you in my opinion and I am sure you are hurting, but why let him get the best of you. You know he's a jerk. Even though I am sure you want to be with the kids, take today and enjoy yourself for you. Do something special with the kids next weekend, maybe a belated mother's day celebration. You are a better and bigger person than him, don't let him bring you down. I hope you can have a nice day. Hang in there!!

Love,
Debbie

JT

Good Morning and Happy Mothers Day!

My biggest concern is that he is drinking while he has them...are they safe?

Also you know it is a control thing, and it makes you mad, so maybe, with alot of thought, you can figure out a way to defuse it. Banging you head into a brick wall hurts so try to look both ways and find the path around it.

I know it's hard because you want the best for the kids...I hope someone else comes along with more to offer.

Love,
JT

Sugarplum

Hey there gal...

If those kids are in danger while in their father's care, I'd get them any way I could. But, apparently, they're not or else you'd probably have done that already.

One thing I was thinking of.... your kids probably want to be with YOU on Mother's Day and will probably say something to him about it. Will he listen to them? Who knows... but if he doesn't, at least he knows their wishes. Maybe he will feel bad for keeping them away from you, you just never know.

I agree that this is not a hill that you want to die on and if he does keep them, celebrate next week-end. He's just trying to be vindictive. Don't let him know how much it hurt because that's what he's trying to do... hurt you.

I hope he comes to his senses... but if not, I hope you can enjoy the day anyway. Hugs!

Sugarplum

Ann

Gal

I don't have anything to add to the above posts, except that I am sorry you are going through such a painful time. It's good to vent and you deserve so much better.

Hugs and God Bless

Ann

margo

Hey Gal - ditto to what Ann and all the others said. Perhaps you can plan something special next Sunday and tell your kids that May 19th is a day for celebrating EXTRA special moms. Hang in there. Happy Mother's Day to you, and to all, from this mom.

helluvagalnva

Thanks Everyone

I called him after my post to tell him I was coming to pick up the kids. He said no you're not. I stood my ground and didn't get ugly, very firmly said I'll be there within the hour. when I got there my son greeted me at the door and said Mommyyyyyy...I'm so glad you're here..I thought you weren't coming to get me.....I love you, mom.....Right then I knew I had done the right thing. My husband knows that they would rather be with me and gets upset about it but he only has himself to blame. But that too goes right over his head. In his eyes he's always the victim. It just makes me sick!!!!!

I didn't get upset. I didn't even really speak to him and that pissed him off. He only wanted to ruin my day. That was his whole intention. My kids and I took my mom out to brunch then we went to Water Country.

My husband lives with his parents so they're always there to take care of the kids when he isn't there or when he's drunk. Of course his parents are in denial too. They think everything is all my fault but at this point I really don't give a damn.

Everything worked out in the end and I had a wonderful Mother's Day. I hope you all also had a wonderful Mother's Day.

Lots of Love,
Galnva

Ann

Gal

Way to go!! I am so glad this all worked out for you. Sometimes their "bullying" and manipulating is just that and when we refuse to buy into it, guess what...the hurricane just turns into a bag of wind.

We are all stronger than we give ourselves credit for sometimes, and when we call on that strength of recovery, we can move forward.

Hugs

Ann

bonbon

Hey Gal,
I am glad everything worked out for you...it sounds like you handled it very well! Keep in mind one thing.. I truly beleive the A cares and loves for their children very deeply, but just remember they are in no shape emotionally or mentally to express it, until they get help they may never will be. Where does that leave the child? Or us for that matter? VERY FRUSTRATED, but don't ever beleive they don't love or care for their children, they are incapable of expressing it in the fashion we would hope that they would.

Just thought I would pass that along, I know it helps me sometimes to think of things that way.

Glad Mothers Day went well!

Love,
bonbon