SteppingStone

I have recently been trying to join some sort of Co-Anon meetings/eMeetings online since there are no f2f meetings in Scotland. I recently received an email saying that the eMeeting used to be quite popular but it seems to have faded out. A couple of days later, the same lady emailed to ask what I thought of starting a f2f Co-Anon meeting in my local area.

Although I feel flattered, I also feel very scared as I am only at the very start of my own recovery. I don't have a sponsor, I haven't worked the Steps & I am only able to make an online meeting occasionally as it is in the States therefore the time difference can make it very difficult for me to attend. However, she said she had all the materials and a meeting format. The only requirements are that we call ourselves a Co-Anon Group and have no outside affiliation. All I would need to do is organise a time & place.

I feel there is nowhere near enough help for the Family & Friends of addicts and it would be great to offer another option and help Family & Friends but I don't know if I could do it just yet.

Any thoughts?

lizwig

Hi, I've had the same dilemma. There are no nar-anon meetings in my area and I've been encouraged to start one. As you are aware it is a commitment...BUT...think of how many people will benefit from it...for all the coming years...and you have someone willing to do it with you!!! I say Go For It!!! I heard a great quote yesterday that I actually posted as my fb status and now feel compelled to share with you...

"The difference between a stumbling block and a stepping stone is the character of the person walking the path".

TMZ

There is nothing to fear except fear it self!

No there are not enough support groups for family & friends of addiction. The fact is there should be twice as many for family than there are AA or NA groups. But only 15 % of people will volunteer to start a group.

There is a Nar-Anon forum on line 24/7 you can learn about it at the .org website. It is true you should really attend a 12 step F2F meeting for at least 6 times before beginning your own group.
But it is not impossible to begin your own group and learn as you go, and with the help of other groups, regions from around the world.

I have been in Nar-Anon for 4 years, I started in Al-anon for a year before I learned of Nar-Anon. I am in the process of setting up my own family group and have gotten a lot of support from the main office and from the region. I also have groups near by willing to give guidance and assistance. It is so helpful just to have a place to share and get it out. I am wanting to help others as well.

If I can be of any help or offer you any assistance, I will be glad to share with you things I have learned.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with the first step. Jus t take that leap of faith you will be amazed at how it will change your life and how many others you can and will help with it.

SteppingStone

TMZ,

Thank you for your advice and for your offer of support/guidance. I would love to help other people in my situation because sometimes it can feel worse than the situation of the addict. I mean that in the sense that there is hardly any support/guidance for Friends & Family as the focus is on the A/RA's so we seem to be left behind with the effects of the disease.

I have been enquiring and my RAXBF is being very supportive and thinks its a great idea. He's mentioned to some of his 'recovery friends' and they are all in favour of it and think their close ones would definitely benefit from a meeting.

Apparently, in Sweden, when an addict starts going to AA/NA/CA they get the family and send them to their sister groups. I think this is a great idea because, even though it's great that the addict is finally getting help, the Family & Friends have no idea what's about to happen - the changes, the moods, the feeling of 'neglect' due to the addicts commitment to their meetings, etc.

I'll keep you updated

Ann

There are a number of live Al-anon meetings in Scotland, click the link below and maybe there is one near you. Hope this helps. If you choose one, maybe call ahead to make sure the meeting info is still up to date.

http://www.al-anonuk.org.uk/meetings/

SteppingStone

Hi Ann,

Thanks for the info. I have been to 2 of these Al-Anon meetings but didn't feel like I belonged. One was an Adult Children meeting (I wasn't raised by alcoholics) & the other a Step meeting (I think they were on Step 4) and I haven't been through the steps so I felt like a fish out of water. Also, they didn't seem very welcoming, they seemed rather cliquish & kept themselves to themselves.

I may try one of the other Al-Anon meetings but I don't see any that is specifically for the 'Newcomer'.

LightInside

I am thinking of kind of an analogy. I got the idea from some Al Anon literature about sponsorship. One of the suggestions was that you could get a sponsor who is just as new as you and try to navigate the path together. Imagine if you were lost in the woods and felt scared and unsure of how to find your way .home. After awhile you stumble upon someone who is equally lost, scared, unsure. Are you going to walkawayfrom this person saying, "Oh, they're too freaked out and inexperienced," or are you going to hold tight to each other, get ideas from each other, and be grateful that at least there's one other person who's here to help and keep you company? Heck, the woods might have a few more lost folks and pretty soon you all might get yourselves out of there. Maybe you'll even decide to build a cabin there. I don't know. Starting a group could be cool.