I'm Quitting Drinking... Again. Help?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 35
I'm Quitting Drinking... Again. Help?
Hello,
I am an under-employed school teacher (and I haven't worked since July), a husband, a father of a healthy 3-yr-old boy, a Type 1 Diabetic, and a raging alcoholic. I am supposed to have no more than 2 drinks per day, but usually average 8-10, sometimes less, sometimes (e.g. last night) waaay more. Both of my parents have died over the last 2 years, and both were alcoholics. My dad was a severe alcoholic. My only sibling is also an alcoholic. My wife is getting concerned, and rightfully so, as I am already terribly unhealthy due to my diabetes and other health problems. I am getting serious about quitting. As to my thread title, I "quit" drinking once or twice a week. Sometimes I even stay sober for a whole day! But rarely. The longest I've gone without a drink was about 3 days, two or so months ago. This is only because my blood glucose readings were completely out of control. It always starts with one or two drinks. If I make it to three, it's as if the road begins to drop and my brakes stop working! Next thing you know... I wake up feeling horrible and my wife is sleeping on the couch.
What's the best way to get sober and stay sober? I live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone's business. I can't therefore join an AA group or something, being a professional and somewhat public figure in the area. I really don't want to die young(ish) because of my own inability to say NO to a drink. Any encouragement, advice, or recommended resources for getting sober will be much appreciated!
Thanks in advance.
I am an under-employed school teacher (and I haven't worked since July), a husband, a father of a healthy 3-yr-old boy, a Type 1 Diabetic, and a raging alcoholic. I am supposed to have no more than 2 drinks per day, but usually average 8-10, sometimes less, sometimes (e.g. last night) waaay more. Both of my parents have died over the last 2 years, and both were alcoholics. My dad was a severe alcoholic. My only sibling is also an alcoholic. My wife is getting concerned, and rightfully so, as I am already terribly unhealthy due to my diabetes and other health problems. I am getting serious about quitting. As to my thread title, I "quit" drinking once or twice a week. Sometimes I even stay sober for a whole day! But rarely. The longest I've gone without a drink was about 3 days, two or so months ago. This is only because my blood glucose readings were completely out of control. It always starts with one or two drinks. If I make it to three, it's as if the road begins to drop and my brakes stop working! Next thing you know... I wake up feeling horrible and my wife is sleeping on the couch.
What's the best way to get sober and stay sober? I live in a small town. Everyone knows everyone's business. I can't therefore join an AA group or something, being a professional and somewhat public figure in the area. I really don't want to die young(ish) because of my own inability to say NO to a drink. Any encouragement, advice, or recommended resources for getting sober will be much appreciated!
Thanks in advance.
Canine Welfare Advocate
Join Date: Sep 2010
Location: Norfolk, VA
Posts: 10,962
Welcome to SR. I hope you avail yourself to all the resources you need to get and stay sober. You have your reasons to avoid AA. This could be the hurdle that keeps you ensnared in the addiction.
You might want to see a doctor and tell him/her your drinking history and wish to detox under medical supervision...your diabetes may complicate something (withdrawals) that is already dangerous.
Good luck.
You might want to see a doctor and tell him/her your drinking history and wish to detox under medical supervision...your diabetes may complicate something (withdrawals) that is already dangerous.
Good luck.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 2,279
Hi poorlouis, welcome to SR 
You have come to the right place, you will find a lot of support & understanding here. It took me a long time to realize that I cannot ever drink alcohol again. As soon as I even start to entertain the thought of a drink I was done! I will never drink again.
You may find rational recovery & AVRT helpful. I will send you a link to the crash course PDF. You may also find CBT helpful Cognitive behavioral therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
All of the best to you on your recovery ~ NB
You have come to the right place, you will find a lot of support & understanding here. It took me a long time to realize that I cannot ever drink alcohol again. As soon as I even start to entertain the thought of a drink I was done! I will never drink again.
You may find rational recovery & AVRT helpful. I will send you a link to the crash course PDF. You may also find CBT helpful Cognitive behavioral therapy - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
All of the best to you on your recovery ~ NB
Member
Join Date: Jun 2013
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 2,872
Hello and welcome.
You'll find lots of support here from people who have atained sobriety. Some from different methods than others.
I, myself, drank like you do. I was a drunk, drinking every chance I got. It was, like you, that first one or two that set me off into a binge that would sometimes last days.
What I do now, is to remember how I felt when not drinking. Hungover, full of fear and anxiety and just wanting to feel good so I could drink again.
I remember those hungover days. And, I remember what that first drink will do to me.
After two years ten months sober those memeories are still fresh in my mind. They keep me from not taking the first one.
You may want to put aside your fear about AA. Everyone will be there for the same reason.
It didn't matter with me, everyone new I was a drunk anyway so there was no need for concealment about attending a meeting.
Whichever path you choose, I wish you the best.
You'll find lots of support here from people who have atained sobriety. Some from different methods than others.
I, myself, drank like you do. I was a drunk, drinking every chance I got. It was, like you, that first one or two that set me off into a binge that would sometimes last days.
What I do now, is to remember how I felt when not drinking. Hungover, full of fear and anxiety and just wanting to feel good so I could drink again.
I remember those hungover days. And, I remember what that first drink will do to me.
After two years ten months sober those memeories are still fresh in my mind. They keep me from not taking the first one.
You may want to put aside your fear about AA. Everyone will be there for the same reason.
It didn't matter with me, everyone new I was a drunk anyway so there was no need for concealment about attending a meeting.
Whichever path you choose, I wish you the best.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,753
to SR! There are many ways to get and stay sober. I use counseling and visit this site often. It's been working for me for nearly four years now. Read around the site. Ask your questions. We are here to support you in your goal to live sober. 
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,347
Welcome PoorLouis 
I too think that with your diabetes it's essential you see a Dr. It's best to be safe
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
most of these methods now have a cyber prescence and online meetings if thats of interest to you.
You'll also find support here on SR.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like AVRT, SMART Recovery, LifeRing etc.
D
I too think that with your diabetes it's essential you see a Dr. It's best to be safe
There's many different approaches and methods of recovery around - here's some links to some of the main players.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...formation.html
most of these methods now have a cyber prescence and online meetings if thats of interest to you.
You'll also find support here on SR.
I recommend you visit the Secular Connections forum if you think you may benefit from a non 12 step approach like AVRT, SMART Recovery, LifeRing etc.
D
Member
Join Date: May 2012
Location: Colorado
Posts: 821
Your story is very scary to me.... being the mom of a Type 1 diabetic. Please do not continue doing that too yourself or your family. Check out the secular area and get serious about being sober.
Jess
P.S. sorry to lecture you about your diabetes. It is a habit of mine now....
Jess
P.S. sorry to lecture you about your diabetes. It is a habit of mine now....
Member
Join Date: Oct 2012
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 339
Everything you are afraid of (people finding out) will eventually happen without help. Try to put aside the fears and reach out in any way. Once I got sober I realized that many people knew I was an alcoholic. I thought I was so smart at hiding it. Not really. Once you admit you have a problem and get help many of those same people whispering behind your back may be there with a helping hand. I go to AA as one thing that helps me and we have cops, teachers, doctors, in my meetings. There are many other forms of recovery so do some homework but don't let the fear stop you.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by poorlouis 
What's the best way to get sober and stay sober?
That said, there are various options for supporting you in that. Do you want face-to-face support? Do you prefer to do it alone? Are you religious or secular leaning?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 35
Originally Posted by jazzfish
The best and only way is not to pick up the next drink. Do not drink.
That said, there are various options for supporting you in that. Do you want face-to-face support? Do you prefer to do it alone? Are you religious or secular leaning?
That said, there are various options for supporting you in that. Do you want face-to-face support? Do you prefer to do it alone? Are you religious or secular leaning?
Religious leaning, I'd have to say, but can go for pragmatic, secular solutions, too.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2013
Posts: 154
Please see an M.D. -there may medical issues specific to your type 1 that he can help you deal with. Also, I understand your hesitations about AA. (I'm in a similar small-town situation.) Can you find a private psychologist to help you? Or is there an AA group within a hour or two drive of your location? Also, coming here will definitely help. I'm recently sober and I'm here in first thing in the mornings and in the evenings (which used to be my prime drinking time.) I also hop on if I'm about to be in a situation that I know will test my resolve (got a potentially contentious meeting coming up). SR has been a gift from God for me. Best of luck to you. Hope to hear more from you soon!
Member
Join Date: Dec 2011
Location: State of Acceptance
Posts: 756
Originally Posted by poorlouis
I am getting serious about quitting. As to my thread title, I "quit" drinking once or twice a week. Sometimes I even stay sober for a whole day! But rarely. The longest I've gone without a drink was about 3 days, two or so months ago.
It always starts with one or two drinks. If I make it to three, it's as if the road begins to drop and my brakes stop working! Next thing you know... I wake up feeling horrible and my wife is sleeping on the couch.
It always starts with one or two drinks. If I make it to three, it's as if the road begins to drop and my brakes stop working! Next thing you know... I wake up feeling horrible and my wife is sleeping on the couch.
I can truly identify with your drinking pattern. That was me too. I never was able to build up momentum with consecutive sober days. If I made it over a week, then that was a reason to celebrate. And, celebrate I did!!! My celebration always started with just one "tasty" glass of wine. After that, all bets were off. What a reward, huh???
It wasn't until I truly embraced SR that things finally changed. I spent hours upon hours reading up on other member's posts.
I started to learn more about the "Addictive Voice" aka THE BEAST and I was so ready to open my mind to this concept. With a bit of practice, I was able to identify my own inner dialogue with alcohol.
The watershed moment for me came 6 days after my official sober date. The AV was really at it all it's all time high. This day was the first day I actually "thought through the drink". I envisioned what my life is like when I have "just one". It is ugly, dark, and depressing. And, it is always the same.
It was at this moment that I embraced the fact that I cannot have "just one". (And the truth is, I actually don't even want just one! Really, what is the point?)
It was on this day that I truly stood up to the beast and screamed, "NO!!! ENOUGH!!! NOT AGAIN!!!"
The beast has not reared it's ugly head since.
I hope you stick around and I wish all my best to you on your road to recovery.
Better when never is never
Join Date: Sep 2011
Location: Wisconsin near Twin Cities
Posts: 1,745
Originally Posted by poorlouis
Face-to-face would probably be best, particularly one-on-one (social anxiety).
Religious leaning, I'd have to say, but can go for pragmatic, secular solutions, too.
Religious leaning, I'd have to say, but can go for pragmatic, secular solutions, too.
I understand your aversion to AA, but most everybody there will be attending for the same reasons you are. Some people also search out AA meetings in the next town over at first, so they won't run into people they know.
I would examine the AA and AVRT approaches to see which one appeals to you. There are plenty of people here who are much more experienced than I who can help you with either.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,518
Very happy to meet you Louis. You found a great place.
For me, joining SR and checking in several times a day was enough. The advice and caring I found here helped me get up the courage to stop all together. You have some good suggestions already - I hope it helps you to be here with us.
You found a great place.For me, joining SR and checking in several times a day was enough. The advice and caring I found here helped me get up the courage to stop all together. You have some good suggestions already - I hope it helps you to be here with us.
Member
Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Eastern Us
Posts: 1,366
Welcome!
Why not try an AA meeting a town or two over if you are worried about being seen? Or get an AA schedule for your town and go to a closed (for alcoholics only) meeting. If someone sees you there that you know, shake their hand as you are both there for the same reason. Don't mess around with this.
Why not try an AA meeting a town or two over if you are worried about being seen? Or get an AA schedule for your town and go to a closed (for alcoholics only) meeting. If someone sees you there that you know, shake their hand as you are both there for the same reason. Don't mess around with this.
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