MightyFlea21

Hi everyone. My first post here but I've been reading the forums for some time now. Wow, what an incredible support site with amazingly understanding and helpful people. I was always the casual drinker who would end up drinking too much a few of the times I went out. Started in college around 20 and was that way until 35. Then it all changed. Not sure when exactly or how but I started the hiding and secretly drinking. Having bottles hidden around the house, in my work bag, etc. Choice of drink was/is vodka and has been for 3 years now. Don't drink daily, about 3-4 times a week and usually a 200ml bottle. I'm a functioning alcoholic....for now. From what I know about this disease is it's progressive and will only get worse. Tried to stop a few times and the longest I've gone is about 70 days. Lately though the longest has been 2-3 weeks. The morning guy convinces me thoroughly this needs to end. The evening guy tells me 200ml a few times a week is no big deal. I know it is though because I hide my drinking, secretly go out and buy booze, drink it secretly at other people's house and so on and so forth. I want to stop. I need to stop before it's too late. The night guy won't stop talking though. How do I shut him up??? He ruins everything each time I listen to him. Today is day 1 of being sober. Drank straight for a week instead of my usual 3-4 days because night guy convinced me I had been working hard and deserved it. I hate the night guy. I want him gone or at least need to learn to ignore him completely. How can I do that?? Please help me ignore him. Also how do I join the November class? Maybe knowing I'm part of a group will help me tell the night guy to shut up and leave me be. Thank you so much in advance.

Deckard

Welcome to SR MightyFlea21! You'll find tons of great support and advice here.

There are lots of options for programs and approaches. For some, committing to AA is key. You can check out the AA Big Book online, just google it.

"The night guy" is your Addictive Voice (AV). It is interesting that you seem to be quite aware of this dichotomy between the "morning guy" (you) and the "night guy" (AV). You could check out the Secular Approaches forum on SR for more discussion of Addictive Voice Recognition Technique (AVRT).

You're on the right track and you can do it!

Skye2

mightyflea

marley1984

I can totally relate to that!

MrsSensitive

New here today too after trolling around for too long. I get that Night Guy thing. He is one vicious creature.

boombox

Welcome Mightyflea! Totally get where you're coming from! This is a great site, I've found loads of stories that help me realise I'm not alone and loads of other people are here for you, wanting you to succeed!

icandoallthings

Welcome Mightyflea! Totally relate to the night guy vs. morning guy. Night guy is a jerk.

BeerTooth

Morning guy / night guy is the perfect way to explain it. (unless we're talking about actually hearing voices Jk) My night guy has been silent for the time being but should be showing up any time now. It usually happens as I drive by 7-11 on my way home from work. Once I make the decision to stop, the wheels are in motion and it turns into 3 or 4 days of happy hour.

hayley86

Welcome MightyFlea21, this is a brilliant place for support and advice. You can find the November class here: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...-2013-a-6.html

I'm glad you have joined us.

MWL1983

Hey Mightyflea! I totally get it. I also don't know what changed me from being a heavy drinker, but I remember that at some point, I lost any and all control over my drinking. I'm coming back from about 2 months of attending AA meetings all the while doing my best to keep it a secret from everyone in AA and my long-term live-in girlfriend.

2 days ago, the hangover was too bad and I wound up skipping out of work for a half-pint of vodka to take the edge off. It wasn't enough and before I knew it, I felt too drunk to stay on the road and woke up the next day passed out in the backseat of my car the next day. Talk about demoralizing! My GF was worried to death about me and I continued drinking until about 5 pm last night before gaining enough strength to say that it stops here!

It sounds like you still have the chance to stop without experiencing what I've put myself through.

For me, the toughest part is the withdrawal. I'm at about 50% human right now (up from 30% earlier) but I'm at work and I know that my condition will continue to improve if I just don't pick up that 1st drink.

Today is my day of being honest with myself, my AA community, the people in my life.

Mirage74

Morning guy/night guy is right on the money. So many times I swore I would never drink again in the morning, only to be drunk again that same night. That is the battle, dealing with night guy, especially if that's when you usually drink. Welcome to the boards!

least

to the family. I'm glad you joined us. We are here to support you on your sober journey.

Anna

Welcome!

I think it's great that you are aware of your Addict Voice and know that you need to learn to ignore it. And, have faith that you can do that. You will find lots of support here.

MightyFlea21

This is exactly the reason I joined. Such amazing support. Thanks everyone for the warm welcome. It def helps knowing I'm not doing this alone. Today is day 1 but I plan and hope to have more entries about how long I've been sober than how I can't remember last night. I still have a chance to avoid major issues the night guy wants to lead me to. Hopefully I haven't done too much damage to my body yet but more importantly I want to avoid doing any harm to those I love. Thanks again everyone.

Dee74

The support here really helped me focus and remember that I wasn't overreacting - I had a serious problem...

welcome MightyFlea

D