IamLily

My sister is getting outta rehab in a few days and will be living with me. Im not sure how to help her? I'm an alcoholic/addict too but I've been sober for 10 months. But being an addict and helping one is 2 completely different things. Any of you have some tips for me?

lizwig

Welcome to the board. My advice would be to not take the focus off of your own recovery. Your recovery needs to come first for you. Congratulations on 10 months! that is awesome! Will she be attending any outpatient treatment or AA/NA? One of the things I try to remind myself in regards to my son is don't do anything for him that he's capable of doing for himself as this sends a silent message that you believe they are incapable. I also try to keep in mind that my son also has a higher power and I'm NOT it! Their recovery can be encouraged but the work needs to be self-motivated.

BlueChair

I dont have any tips but wanted to let you know your not alone in how your feeling. My husband will be home from rehab in couple days and I want to support him in recovery. At least you know what its like to have an addiction and work on recovery, you can set a good example and she can learn by watching you

hopeful4

Congrats to you and Good Luck to your sister. You have really made a big accomplishment and I agree, continue to focus on your own recovery. Do not let her recovery be a trigger for you.

I hope you introduce her to SR if you would like and that she continues to follow up with continued care outside of rehab.

Good Luck and God Bless!

pravchaw

I had a blog post on that - perhaps if will help you. I'd say be prepared for relapse. Its not the end of the world but have a plan.
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...loved-one.html

IamLily

be prepared for relapse? be prepared for her to relapse or me? I don't know if she will be attending AA/NA meetings, her goal is to get her job back but I'm afraid it may be to much pressure for her

pravchaw

Sorry, I meant her. My son relapsed within a week of rehab last year. We got him in treatment again after a year. He has reduced his use (pot) but still using.

IamLily

no need to apologize! if she stays at my place and relapses, will I have to tell her to leave 'till she gets clean again? or should I let her stay even if she ain't clean?

pravchaw

Yes - that may be a good idea. She can go to detox to get clean and retry. The reality is this is a chronic relapsing disease. Most addicts have to give it many serious tries before they quit. I read some where (can't remember) that average is 7.

I think family support is good thing but keep your boundaries in place. Don't let her problems distract your life and recovery. I let my son's problem take over my life and it cost me many opportunities.

IamLily

ok I'll start to think of some boundaries and I'll try to be prepared if she relapses

allforcnm

When my husband came home from rehab we were told relapse could happen, and how he handled it could help improve his recovery, or cause a setback.

Before he came home, he explained his recovery plan (with the help of his doctor), and together we worked on plans in the event of a relapse. (Again with the help of his doctor, even defining signs that might show he was heading towards a relapse). Because there are a lot of variables involved, there are different actions I would take.. And specific actions he is supposed to take. Unless his behavior became a detriment to our home, our son in particular then I would give him time to work with his therapist to halt the relapse. I also feel family support is important, but you also have to set limits to keep yourself and your environment safe and happy. So I can't suggest how you should handle it with your sister, but maybe having a discussion with her in advance (with help of a rehab doctor if possible) would be helpful as a guide for you. That way it's pre-defined and you know what to do, and she will know what to expect.

LoveMeNow

Sorry to say but that is the "definition" of codependency.