The Mouse that Roared
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
The Mouse that Roared
Well, I totally don't know what forum this belongs in. It has to do with self image. I guess that's an anon topic.
2672 years ago when I was in graduate school, I was a mousey mousey thing. I was dating "Mad Dog" (y'all thought I was kidding.. didn't you?), who was a very sweet and accepting person, in spite of the arm art. I went on a diet and colored my hair and bought some clothes. I still felt like a dull old dishrag. Then one day I was flying across campus and passed by the classroom building, which is practically solid grey glass. I glanced up at the glass and saw this woman on the other side. She was moving along at the same pace I was but there was a difference. She was graceful and tall. Her hair flew around her like a mane. She had on huge earrings and a big cape slung dramatically over one shoulder. Loose pants tucked into boots hung on her lithe figure. She made me think of a lioness or some kind of gypsy goddess. I thought she might be the most fabulous looking woman I had ever seen. "My God!" I thought. "I wish I had the nerve to dress like her!" Just about that time I realized I was not looking through the glass, but at a reflection. It was me.
I had a serious self image makeover that day.
Recently I have slipped back into slugdom. When Dino moved and there was no more starving, I whiplashed on eating and gained 40 pounds. I stopped coloring my hair last summer and it's been getting quite grey. I've been wearing loose clothes to hide in, and even shying away from my favorite bright colors. One of my friends was picking on me about my hair this weekend (I don't look good in grey). So I went and bought some color last nite. I didn't want to be red. Women my age look fake in red hair, I reasoned. Something that won't be too noticeable. So I picked out the box that had the model on it that I wanted to look like... light golden brown. Brown sugar. That sounds tame.
Okay, whoever named this haircolor has got to be kidding. It's not at all what I meant to buy. It is exactly what I wanted. Ay Chihuahua Chestnut.
Okay.... I used to always wear these neon orange glasses, because I broke all my other ones. I had to go to a funeral several months back and got some brown ones... neon seeming unfitting for this particular funeral. I'd been wearing brown ever since. Well, the bumped up hair called for bumped up glasses, and the bumped up orange glasses called for the fuschia shirt and earrings, for cryin' out loud. I've been on a diet and have only lost 8 of the thirty pounds I want to, but if I may say so myself... today I don't look a day over thirty.... something.
So gang... if you're having a down on yourself time of it, here's my recommendation. "Brown Sugar" haircolor, bright orange glasses, a fuschia floral shirt and upright posture. Or whatever makes you feel like you look good. There is NOTHING like watching a guy stumble into his own car at the filling station because he was watching you walk across the parking lot. You don't need remarkable features... just a little flash.
ROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!
smokie
2672 years ago when I was in graduate school, I was a mousey mousey thing. I was dating "Mad Dog" (y'all thought I was kidding.. didn't you?), who was a very sweet and accepting person, in spite of the arm art. I went on a diet and colored my hair and bought some clothes. I still felt like a dull old dishrag. Then one day I was flying across campus and passed by the classroom building, which is practically solid grey glass. I glanced up at the glass and saw this woman on the other side. She was moving along at the same pace I was but there was a difference. She was graceful and tall. Her hair flew around her like a mane. She had on huge earrings and a big cape slung dramatically over one shoulder. Loose pants tucked into boots hung on her lithe figure. She made me think of a lioness or some kind of gypsy goddess. I thought she might be the most fabulous looking woman I had ever seen. "My God!" I thought. "I wish I had the nerve to dress like her!" Just about that time I realized I was not looking through the glass, but at a reflection. It was me.
I had a serious self image makeover that day.
Recently I have slipped back into slugdom. When Dino moved and there was no more starving, I whiplashed on eating and gained 40 pounds. I stopped coloring my hair last summer and it's been getting quite grey. I've been wearing loose clothes to hide in, and even shying away from my favorite bright colors. One of my friends was picking on me about my hair this weekend (I don't look good in grey). So I went and bought some color last nite. I didn't want to be red. Women my age look fake in red hair, I reasoned. Something that won't be too noticeable. So I picked out the box that had the model on it that I wanted to look like... light golden brown. Brown sugar. That sounds tame.
Okay, whoever named this haircolor has got to be kidding. It's not at all what I meant to buy. It is exactly what I wanted. Ay Chihuahua Chestnut.
Okay.... I used to always wear these neon orange glasses, because I broke all my other ones. I had to go to a funeral several months back and got some brown ones... neon seeming unfitting for this particular funeral. I'd been wearing brown ever since. Well, the bumped up hair called for bumped up glasses, and the bumped up orange glasses called for the fuschia shirt and earrings, for cryin' out loud. I've been on a diet and have only lost 8 of the thirty pounds I want to, but if I may say so myself... today I don't look a day over thirty.... something.
So gang... if you're having a down on yourself time of it, here's my recommendation. "Brown Sugar" haircolor, bright orange glasses, a fuschia floral shirt and upright posture. Or whatever makes you feel like you look good. There is NOTHING like watching a guy stumble into his own car at the filling station because he was watching you walk across the parking lot. You don't need remarkable features... just a little flash.
ROOOOOAAAAAAARRRRRRR!!!!
smokie
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Posts: n/a
Look out world! Here she comes. 
I make it a fun game,looking at middle aged women in the grocery stores and laugh.
I always think of them as teenagers and wonder what they would have thought if they knew they would look like this in the future.
Then I always think, Am I wearing something that my teenage self would be ok with?
I know I'm not bright enough. I resist bright with everything in me. I will try to buy something bright. At least if I do, I won't get hit by a car. :p
Great Job Smoke!
MG
I make it a fun game,looking at middle aged women in the grocery stores and laugh.
I always think of them as teenagers and wonder what they would have thought if they knew they would look like this in the future.
Then I always think, Am I wearing something that my teenage self would be ok with?
I know I'm not bright enough. I resist bright with everything in me. I will try to buy something bright. At least if I do, I won't get hit by a car. :p
Great Job Smoke!
MG
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Raleigh, NC (Jersey Girl transplant)
Posts: 676
Wow! Way to go! Right on! I struggle with the hair color thing. I have red hair and I am getting a few grays, and your right dyed red hair looks so fake on middleaged women. But then again so does blond!!! And I am working on loosing a few pounds(20). I have taken to buying elastic shorts becuse they are so comfortable. Lime green is one of my favorite colors. When I was a teenager my room was lime green on three walls and on one wall I had orange carpet squares. I always liked to be differant and having the carpet on the wall instead of the floor was my "statement". So where are my lime green walls now? It was quite chearful!!
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: That's what I'd like to know.
Posts: 2,416
Ah Rose!!!
Elastic shorts and drawstring pants are the enablers of the fashion idustry! Down with unfitted clothing!!!!! <img border="0" alt="[Uzi]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/uzi.gif" />
Hugs!
Smoke
Elastic shorts and drawstring pants are the enablers of the fashion idustry! Down with unfitted clothing!!!!! <img border="0" alt="[Uzi]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/uzi.gif" />
Hugs!
Smoke
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Smoke, I can just picture you and I bet you feel terific. And look it too!!
I also tend to feel like I look, and look how I feel. It's not vanity but self-esteem that makes me feel good when I do even the smallest thing, paint my nails (including toes) and dress in something that makes ME feel good. I too will look in the mirror sometimes and think "not bad for an old broad", of couse that is when I have my makeup on and my glasses off LOL.
And I too was a shy redhead who thought I was mousy when I grew up. People would say "what lovely red hair" or "how pretty you are" and I just thought they were being kind, or mistook me for someone else. Today I love expressing who I am be how I look and I may not be a beauty queen, but hot-diggety I'll still keep paying the money out to keep my hair red ("light copper" as Miss Clairol calls it)and paint my toenails and wear funny earrings and glasses that "blend" the bifocal part, and be happy that I have "great legs" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
And Smoke, 8 pounds is terrific. Think of 8 pounds of butter, or a small turkey, and take your trophy for doing a great job.
Hugs
I also tend to feel like I look, and look how I feel. It's not vanity but self-esteem that makes me feel good when I do even the smallest thing, paint my nails (including toes) and dress in something that makes ME feel good. I too will look in the mirror sometimes and think "not bad for an old broad", of couse that is when I have my makeup on and my glasses off LOL.
And I too was a shy redhead who thought I was mousy when I grew up. People would say "what lovely red hair" or "how pretty you are" and I just thought they were being kind, or mistook me for someone else. Today I love expressing who I am be how I look and I may not be a beauty queen, but hot-diggety I'll still keep paying the money out to keep my hair red ("light copper" as Miss Clairol calls it)and paint my toenails and wear funny earrings and glasses that "blend" the bifocal part, and be happy that I have "great legs" <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
And Smoke, 8 pounds is terrific. Think of 8 pounds of butter, or a small turkey, and take your trophy for doing a great job.
Hugs
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Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: oh
Posts: 51
Smoke....Sounds like you have it together! I am pretty new here, and since my A got sober, my self esteem has been in the crapper. I am 100 times better than I was when he quit....I went on paxil while he was drinking and gained 60 lbs in 6 months and simply hated myself. Well, since then I have gone off the paxil, lost 50 of the lbs and began an excersize program and spend a lot of time on my garden. Still, I can't look in the mirror and see what I used to be able to see. I have never been overly confident, but I really hate what I see these days more and more and feel like my recovery has stalled. I can't find a hair cut I like, let alone a color. Clothes don't fit the way they used to....little lines have begun forming at the corners of my eyes and on my forehead. I think that is one of the reasons I originally came looking for a site like this and landed here. I feel like HE is recovering and yet I am not. I am not asking for help or suggestions really...I KNOW what I need to do and what path I need to take. I guess I am coming here for the support. This forum helps me because I have associated my choice of an A as a partner as a major flaw in ME and my choice to stick it out as a weakness and not a strength. Here, I feel much more normal and have less self doubt. I didn't do anything stupid or crazy...I walked down the same path many here have. I am not weak...I am strong. Now...if I can believe that everyday I will be ok <img border="0" title="" alt="[Wink]" src="wink.gif" />
Just wanted you to know that your posts are inspiring and encouraging....maybe I will like my reflection again some day soon.
Just wanted you to know that your posts are inspiring and encouraging....maybe I will like my reflection again some day soon.
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Virginia
Posts: 175
You go girl!!!!! I have the opposite problem - Stress and worry tend to make me not eat. Although, when I was taking the Buspar it made me gain 15 pounds so I stopped taking it. Since then I've lost 20 pounds. I weigh 120lb. which is a perfect size for my small frame and it's were I feel most comfortable about myself.
Losing 8 pounds is wonderful. You should feel very proud of yourself, I am. I love bright colors. A new do and new clothes makes us feel alive. Good for you!!!!
Love and hugs,
Galnva
Losing 8 pounds is wonderful. You should feel very proud of yourself, I am. I love bright colors. A new do and new clothes makes us feel alive. Good for you!!!!
Love and hugs,
Galnva
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: United States
Posts: 39
You go girl <img border="0" alt="[Yellow]" title="" src="graemlins/../graemlins/yellow.gif" /> There is nothing that can compare to looking in the mirror and realizing how beautiful you are on the inside and outside! Being we communicate on the internet I don't know what anyone looks like but I've gotten to know you through words and every person I have encountered in this forum is so beautiful, insightful and generous. Even in there own moments of weakness and pain, they'll reach out and give a loving word. 8 pounds is great!!
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