Redheadsusie

I do not trust myself at all - I need to make this the final time AH and I
Split-up he left Friday not been back texted some crap trying to engage me - I am so sick with co dependency I question all my thoughts. Do I need to let him know I am done - that I will not live with him ever again or is that me wanting to engage. Besides that house is calm life is full of many joys and blessings! Thanks and Much Love!

hopeful4

I am sure he is going to try to continue to engage you. I would simply say one word and I believe he will get the point...DONE.

Good for you for sticking to your guns and for gaining peace in your life!

God Bless!

Fandy

If he can't get in the house, does not have a key, (or you have changed the locks)? and you do not answer his calls or better yet, block his number, he might get the message.

OR...you could just have divorce papers served to him at his mama's? that might clue him in. Gasp! he might have to pay his own way, or contribute to his son's education? there is a shocker.

btw, you are NOT old....he just says that to play on your fears so you will be around for him...he would probably drink himself into a stupor if he saw you on a date.

congrats on making some great decisions and dropping the dead weight of him dragging you down with him.

Recovering2

Seems like you've been through this enough....I personally don't think you need to announce your intentions. Go No Contact for phone/text. Change your locks, don't answer the door. That says "done". But you have to be ready to really be done. Otherwise, he will continue to think you can be pushed around.

dandylion

Dear Redheadsusie---To my way of thinking--I don't think it matters--either way. Nothing you say to him--or don't say to him is going to change the outcome of this situation. I, personally would just do what I was most comfortable with.

I will add this comment--Did he tell you--notify you--that he was going to disappear and why??? just saying......

Right this moment--it doesn't matter so much what you say---as what you actually DO. Actions trump words. Same applies to the alcoholic--pay attention to their actions--not heir words.

You didn't cause it; you can't control it; and, you can't fix it.
You can only control you. I know this sounds soo simplistic---but, it is sooo true!

dandylion

marie1960

Agree with Dandy here, Your actions will say more than words ever can.

Over the years we have all sent our active addicts the wrong message. I was guilty of this also, said, "enough is enough" and two weeks later, I was out to dinner with him, listening to how "this time it will be different."

If you are really done, let your attorney handle the rest........

Clear your slate, and embrace your new beginning!

SparkleKitty

The best message you can send is just Being Done, Susie. Hugs to you, I know how hard it is.

Carlotta

Get Mr Number. It's a free app which blocks texts and calls. It gives you options such as sending them directly to voice mail or hanging up on him.
I love that app, I call it my codie app. It s excellent for no contact https://play.google.com/store/apps/d....blocker&hl=en