Tamerua

Hi all

Been here a little while and I haven't started many threads but I read daily.

I am currently working on step 8 with my sponsor. Throughout the time I've been working with her, she knows that I have been struggling with what to say or not say to my son. He doesn't know that I am in AA. I'm pretty sure that he knows I am doing something positive because I go out now, have different friends, I have books and he even asked to have a chip but I haven't gone into detail about recovery or my program.

For a little background, I wasn't a daily drinker, I was a weekend warrior, most (not all) of which happened when he was in bed. I was also an isolator. He is 13 years old, I'm going in 11 months sober. My sponsor said that now is the time to decide to tell him or work on making living amends for now and telling him later.

From your experience, what did you share with your kids?

Tommyh

we shared everything recovery related
our kids went to open speaker meetings with us
a older man who went on to be come my sponsor told me one day
"any recovery that don`t include my family ain`t much recovery"
so i tried to take his advice and it helped us

Tamerua

Thanks Tommy.

keithj

My son was 5 when I sobered up and hit the 9th Step. Sure, at that age he didn't comprehend nor need to hear all of the details, but sitting down with him and making a formal amends for the harms I had caused him was one of the greatest gifts I've ever been given in this program. Not so much in real time, but in watching him transform from a scared kid into a confident human being, that amends had a profound impact on both of us and the relationship between us. Just saying...

UncleMeat69

I think you will gain tremendous respect in his eyes as well as setting
an example that he will carry to adulthood about taking responsibility
for our behavior - which is pretty rare in today's society, IMO.

DayTrader

I remember being 13, vividly. I laughed (laughed) at my parents and my neighbors at my 13th b-day party because they were talking down to me like I was a kid. Now, I was a kid, but they seemed absolutely oblivious to what I was able to comprehend at the time.

I'd bet your son knows more than you may think he does. I'd go for it.

Tamerua

Thanks all! I went for it, didn't say a lot, just the truth. I'm sure he will have questions later and I'll be ready for them.

Tommyh

a friend went to make amends to his son
his son said,Dad,you don`t owe me any amends,I am just glad I got my dad back!
that brought tears to my eyes when Chuck said that in a meeting