jmbrandon87

Well, this week makes 3 months sober for me. I'm struggling with cravings for alcohol. I don't think I'm even coping at this point. I'm just avoiding alcohol. I've definitely had unlimited chances to drink. It's a daily thing for me to fight these cravings. Day in and out, it's on my mind. Instead of feeling proud of being sober, I feel more emotionally exhausted I guess you could say. Physically I do have more energy than I did and my mind is clearer. I just don't know what to do to motivate myself. This is more of a release of thoughts than a question I know. I know I want sobriety, but I also have the urge to drink everyday, and it's exhausting....

Pedro1234

You are going so well. Please don't go backwards as any step back is really hard to regain. Keep moving forward

mtgbis

First of all, congrats on the three month mark - that's something to be proud of. Secondly, I totally understand having unlimited options to drink and the emotional exhaustion of having to constantly fight the cravings or urge to give in. I work in an industry where every small victory is marked with "let's all get drinks!" And while I know I want to be sober, and as you say, I feel much better physically and mentally when I am, it's tasking to always have to sit out the celebrations, knowing that putting myself in the situation would be harder than just avoiding it. What helps me is talking to someone who empathizes, be it in real life or here on forums like this, so while I have no good advice I do have empathy. Completely and whole-heartedly. But you're doing a great job, it sounds like, and the cravings always pass. Take a bath or binge on Netflix or go to a park to just take your mind off of it - as cliche as it sounds, it usually works. And one day at a time, right? That mindset helps as well.

Scott6433

Brandon congrats man. I'm right there with ya. A few weeks past my 3 months now. I too am having a problem with motivation. I have some court ordered out patient rehab to help out with that so I commend you immensely if that's not the case for you and this is free will. When you are having the obsessive thoughts or cravings have you tried anything to take you out of it like meditation or breathing exercises? Just simple stuff, small steps to help us try and retrain our thinking without getting overwhelmed and getting us nowhere.

jmbrandon87

Thanks. Yeah I'm doing it all on my own. I've gone to AA a couple of times in the very beginning, but honestly it did nothing for me. I found it very boring. I would be willing to try it again. I'm also at a point where I don't even feel like socializing either. I'm sober, but would rather be alone at home than to try to go out and meet friends haha.

1newcreation

Hi Brandon
Glad you posted whats on your heart & mind before picking up again(@ least I hope so)!
I know exactly how you feel; the 90 day chip is red for a reason:BEWARE/DANGER coz most people relapse @ this point. Are you doing 90 in 90? Hope you are coz @ least for me that was my solid foundation that I laid to prevent a slip; I'm not saying I'm "bullet proof" but lets just say twill take more than a hell of a lot to happen to make drink again.
Whatever will keep you sober do it: meetings, calling sponsor/network 5 times in a day, service work etc

Dee74

hey jm

altho it's pretty common for people to freak out at 90 days

PAWS | Digital Dharma

I wonder what you've been doing for your recovery?
I had to do more than just stop drinking.

what other changes have you made? What support do you have, apart from SR?

D

mtgbis

I get that. I've been sober six weeks and have never felt so antisocial in my entire life. I mostly hang out with the dog watching Breaking Bad and feeling lucky never to have messed with meth. Mere alcoholism seems like such a small problem now! Ha... No, but really, I understand and it passes. Today is almost over at least.

BarbieKen

Isolation was my big problem. With my family going to AA meetings, which I'd NEVER attend because A: I'm NOT an alcoholic B: I'm NOT HURTING ANYONE. So, I just kept drinking in my kitchen. If someone isn't ready to quit, like me, then the drinking with it's games continues. You can white knuckle it, if that works for you. I gave up last year, just admitted I could not control or even 'moderate' my nightly blacking out drinking. I wish you all the best, maybe you'll be the one who can do it alone. Bobbi

Lenina

JM, I found the meetings at AA boring too. Working the Steps seemed very silly to me too. however, like my sponsor promised me, more was revealed. I am not in AA and haven't been for many years yet the Step Work I did then helps me to this day.

I don't think I ever had a spiritual awakening but I did have a profound philosophic shift. can you get a sponsor and work the Steps? Give yourself one year. See your sponsor once a week for fellowship and Step Work. And so stay on SR.

Love from Lenina

jmbrandon87

Well I had a dangerous experience with my drinking that I DON'T remember, which got me to the point of quitting after my drinking was getting worse and worse. Now, it's just one of those "forbidden" things. But it's not that I'm going to meetings or anything to deal with cravings, I just feel sad and keep going. I want to be proud that I'm not drinking but I can't say that I am that much. I'm just sober...

Lenina

JM, I dont know if this will make sense, but I quit drinking way before I got sober. I did work with my therapist and a lot on my own.

Love from Lenina

BarbieKen

P.S. I don't know how my fingers did this but the reply I just wrote was not intended for this post. My apologizes Brandon.

FeenixxRising

I'm also at three months. I feel for you jm, I'm at the opposite end, I rarely have cravings--in fact really none at this point. But I do sometimes have that "lurking notion" that I could possibly drink with control.

I wish I could give solid advice, but I've found that focusing on living my daily life is very helpful. If even the faintest thought of drinking pops into my mind, I immediately replace it with other thoughts and/or I get my butt busy working so that my mind is occupied.

Are you working now? What interests do you have? Is there something you've always wanted to do that you've never taken the time to do? Something like learning a new skill, fixing up an old car, starting a solid work-out program etc.? If so, I'd say get busy doing it, or at least get busy doing something so that you keep your mind away from drinking.

Learning not to "dwell" or "obsess" on certain things is a skill that can be learned. You just have to work at it a little each day. I suggest trying to refocus your thoughts each time you think of drinking. It will be hard at first, but try it a little each day.

jmbrandon87

I'll add too that I had 2 weeks of therapy in the very beginning when I quit... like a halfway house I guess you could call it

Freebird13

Hmm...my 90 day chip was green. It was my 60 day chip that was red. Maybe it differs from state to state.

pixy

I think I never really realised how sick I was/am, until I actually make the effort, get to a meeting and chat with other alcoholics. I isolate and wallow in the pain of my sensitivity and my own 'you don't understand how hard it is for me' crap.

I frequently crave alcohol to the point where I am digging my fingers into my palms. Yet I know what I have to do to dig myself out of a hole.

I nearly picked up a couple of days ago, yet I phoned a friend in AA and somehow the power of that drink went away.

Running or going for a walk helps too. Make yourself aware of the beauty of Autumn and embrace a life without the baggage and heartache that booze brings.

If you did a step 1, go back and read it!

Stay strong. x

Turnz505

Ima tell you one thing.. I had the same feels man, it was so intense that I ended up relapsing and did another three weeks in hell.. It's not worth it man, I know as superficial as it sounds Its NOT ******* worth it. The first few hours are definitely worth it. The next few weeks are absolute hell and wishing you had never given in, the mornings where you wish you never woke up and the sick and bleak feeling you have in your mind and body. Life sucks again because I relapsed... Why did I give in to those cravings I don't know. it hope you don't but do what you do this is how we learn I guess