lojoe

I heard an interesting take on the phenomenon of craving today (as described in the big book). It works in a deceptive way...in that when we take a drink we have no way of knowing how many drinks may follow. It could be 3 or it could be 30...depending on what day you catch us. This is interesting because sometimes I would only have a few and not be late coming home. I used this to disqualify myself from alcoholism. However, other times I would overshoot the mark...and show up at home late...and when I shouldn't have been driving at all. The big book says the phenomenon of craving NEVER exists in the moderate drinker. Which leads me to think, if you have ever drank more than you had planned on...you just may be an alcoholic. Would love to hear any feedback on this! Have an awesome night all.

Mirage74

Most of us here are alcoholics, lojoe, so we can completely identify with the phenomenon of craving. Once I started, I could never stop, even if I only planned to have "a couple".

FourSeasons

Hello Lojoe -- I can not have "just one". I have tried and tried many times. I am an all or nothing kind of gal!!

lojoe

So do you think that since sometimes I could get away with only a few that perhaps I'm not a real alcoholic? I obsess about this, just want to make sure my thinking is right on my diagnosis. I know only I can decide that but your opinion based on experience is appreciated.

dizzychainsaw

Sometimes I was able to only have a couple. For example, I tried to control my drinking last go round because I didn't want to get too drunk around my boyfriend . It worked for maybe one night then I was back in full swing. I wasn't happy when I was trying to control it. It talks about that in the big book. It says therefore may be periods when we think we are regaining control but that those intervals are brief and followed by less control and incomprehensible demoralization. Pg 30 I heard a guy in a meeting say, "If I was controlling it I wasn't enjoying it and if I was enjoying it I was way out of control." I believe that to be true.

dwtbd

Maybe there is different way to approach this, if you are not sure.
I liked getting drunk, so much so that my I would rather continue drinking to exclusion of practically every thing else, probably termed a binge or a bender.
My wife on the other hand doesn't like the feeling of being drunk , she drinks wine but will stop if thinks she will become drunk. To me that is a stronger indicator of having a problem with drinking, especially given that when I drank the urge to get drunk was even stronger.
Wish you well

Mirage74

I think if you are obsessing over it, that is a red flag. Normal drinkers don't really worry about it.

I struggled with this for a while. Like you say, you have to make the call. I don't think you can get sober until you are completely convinced you aren't a normal drinker.

advbike

I think many folks have drank too much on occasion and might not be alcoholic. It just happens, especially when we're young, there is peer pressure, etc. But healthy people learn their limits. Most non-alcoholics can stop when they should, ie. after a couple of drinks. If you can't stop after one or two drinks, especially if you know you're going to have to drive - you have a problem. That inability to moderate, or stop, the bad judgement - is a hallmark of alcoholism.

Zencat

When I was an alcohol abuser and not an alcoholic I would have extreme cravings. I was then able to withstand the craving for 8 hrs or so, like a work day. As soon I had a chance I would drink into heavy intoxication.

As alcoholism has different stages, I believe craving go through progressively stronger stages too.

lojoe

Hmm, well I think I'm a potential alcoholic. Not a real alcoholic. I could always make sure by trying controlled drinking as it says in chapter 3.

ScottFromWI

You could. You did mention in your first post that you sometimes drink more than you plan to. To me that's a pretty good sign that you can't control it...what more proof do you need?

lojoe

Actually, I am a fool if I don't realize I have all the evidence I need to be ok with the term alcoholic. If I don't fit every nook and cranny of the disease as it manifests itself in others, that doesn't mean I won't get there. I think like an alcoholic and my relationship with alcohol was one of escape. I hid my drinking, even though sometimes I didn't drink as much as other times. Perhaps my disease was looking for an excuse to go out and "try controlled drinking" which is completely foolish as I know I will go looking for other addictive drugs I had more problems with. I am an alcoholic and an addict and I will keep coming back.

pinkdog

Hi lojoe, I am a real alcoholic. Sometimes I would not drink at all. Sometimes a few. But deep down there is a feeling of deprivation. Eventually I would catch up.

FeenixxRising

The statement in the Big Book regarding cravings was written in the 1930's, and it's the opinion of one doctor. Granted, a doctor experienced with alcoholics, but an opinion nonetheless. I take it with a grain of salt; it's not science. In other words, the craving issue isn't quite that black and white.

Having said that, I know I craved another beer after finishing the first beer etc. etc., so I believe there is truth to the statement. However, I suspect many moderate drinkers crave a 2nd or 3rd drink, but are still able to stop themselves before they become completely intoxicated.

The issue, IMO, is the ability to stop when you want to stop. If you regularly drink more than you intended, you have a problem.

lojoe

The main point is that I don't want to feel like a fraud when I say I'm an alcoholic and I do 12th step work with other alcoholics.

lojoe

I hid my drinking. I used other drugs while drinking. I drank alone. I drove while drinking. These are things I relate to. Though..I didnt have shakes or drink in the morning...or even drink every day. I did use drugs every day. I think I am an alcoholic...it's just harder to see it because of the use of other substances.

Twinings

There are different types of alcoholics lojoe, you don't have to be dependent on the stuff to be more in need of recovery than someone who can go without from time to time. If it's a problem for you, if it causes you to act recklessly i.e drive when intoxicated, you have a problem. If you want to label it with alcoholic, addict, problem drinker, whatever that is up to you and what you wish to identify with and no one has the right to call you a fraud.

gaudi

"It is never enough" and deprivation was my constant feeling. My husband is a controlled and functioning alcoholic and he says that on days when he doesn't drink (not many): he spends the day "not drinking." So we don't even need to drink to be "not doing it too much".

The only way out is not to do it at all.

Does this make any sense to anyone!?

lojoe

I think so. I've been sober for awhile now but I still obsess about it when I see it (at weddings, etc). If I wasn't an alcoholic I wouldn't obsess about it right?

gaudi

Right! Did you give up in February of this year? You are nearly at one year! When I passed my first year it was like a huge release and then I started to really get on with my life! This year I've had 1 craving - last Sunday, and that was because I was pissed off and someone had left a full glass of red wine in my bathroom! I threw it down the sink with the wine!

Well done and keep going.